RE: How do I get my Ex-Dom to Help?

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RE: How do I get my Ex-Dom to Help? - 9/4/2007 3:35:23 PM

orfunboi

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Joined: 10/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Not to mention, since it is your apartment, and your name is on the lease you have the right to walk in there anytime. I suggest checking in randomly after you have told him to take a hike because you have put in notice with landlord. Check in more and more near the close of that date, to document any damage while he is still available to be liable for such. Bring a camera, and a witness if you can. Ask for the key when his bags are packed and make him stay while you inspect the empty apartment.

I am still in shock over a Dom who cannot handle money. lol, what sort of man cannot handle money?? oh answer: a girly-man.

And what, exactly is a girly-man?

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RE: How do I get my Ex-Dom to Help? - 9/4/2007 3:44:50 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kossack

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirHedonicsslave

I have to agree.....i'd tell him....i'm going to go and change the utilites out of my name *insert a day or date*....and then let him make his mind up whether he needs the stuff or wants to continue procrastinating. One thing i would check......check your lease.....make sure you can hand the apartment over to him, because if not, and he stops paying or does damage, you're responsible.

We can't change the lease into his name, but I trust him enough that he won't screw me over--he isn't vindicative. He's a good guy. He is paying me the security deposit. He's just incredibly flaky and doesn't really want to accept that the rules that apply to everyone else apply to him as well.

Whoa, this all seems like a really really bad idea to me...."all" of it. You already told him about putting utilities in his name....now just go and have them shut off. When he gets warm enough or need to refridgerate something, he'll go and do what he needs to do.

Also, not sure why you are letting him stay in your old place and under your name yet, but if you can't put it in his name, can you at least let management know what's going on, and type up some kind of contract on your own, listing the terms and conditions regarding him staying there? You both should sign, so at least that way maybe you can be somewhat covered in at least small claims court if something happens.

I hope he doesn't do anything in that apartment that will cost you more money in the long run.

I really hope you know what you are doing...from my angle of looking at it, it seems like a disaster waiting to happen

good luck

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Post #: 42

RE: How do I get my Ex-Dom to Help? - 9/4/2007 6:08:33 PM

twistedkytten

Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
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Absolutely!! well said ownedgirlie

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Post #: 43

RE: How do I get my Ex-Dom to Help? - 9/5/2007 2:02:37 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
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Watch 3 episodes of Judge Judy!

Then go immediately to the apartment manager and explain the situation and do whatever it takes to protect yourself. Do what everyone else has told you about taking the utilities out of your name. Every Judge Judy case starts out with the ex-girlfriend trying to help out the ex-boyfriend and getting her credit ruined as a reward for her helpfulness.

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Post #: 44

RE: How do I get my Ex-Dom to Help? - 9/5/2007 8:10:40 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I am still in shock over a Dom who cannot handle money. lol, what sort of man cannot handle money?? oh answer: a girly-man.

And what, exactly is a girly-man?

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Post #: 45

RE: How do I get my Ex-Dom to Help? - 12/2/2007 1:31:45 PM

kossack

Posts: 82
Joined: 8/5/2006
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I wanted to follow up on this.

My ex moved out of the apartment this week--he has covered everything I told him he needed to cover. Albeit in a slow, sometimes flaky manner, but he has treated me with good faith.

I mention this not so say 'you're wrong,' but because I think we have a meme in this country that says breaking up has to be nasty and people will treat each other horribly. It doesn't and we don't have to.

There were a couple of times where it was really hard. The hardest moment was when he bounced a check on me. I was pissed and scared, but I called him and treated him with the assumption that it was a mistake. It was a mistake and he rectified it within 48 hours (he'd grabbed the wrong checkbook.) I think if I'd treated him angrily at that moment, we would have deteriorated. My assuming he was a man of integrity who'd messed up make him want to act like a man of integrity.

Breaking up in hard to do, but I think we can treat each other with respect and remember that this was someone whom you shared your life with, it will probably be easier. If you have a gut feeling that he or she will screw you over, listen to it. But if your gut feeling is that they are a person of integrity and will treat you with integrity, that is also important to regard.

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Post #: 46

RE: How do I get my Ex-Dom to Help? - 12/2/2007 1:44:03 PM

astarri