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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/3/2007 6:14:04 AM   
Cyntilating


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Bass-o-matic's nothing compared to Will It Blend?...

And yes, between the iPhone,can you hear me now??? cans of spam,can you schmear me now?? DVDs,can you clear me now???? concrete and other things - he blends a fish...can you spear me now?????
 
ok...weird mood today LOL
 
 


< Message edited by Cyntilating -- 9/3/2007 6:17:24 AM >


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.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/3/2007 8:37:06 AM   
Celeste43


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My sex life isn't something that comes up at synagogue. Or at the dentist. It doesn't get discussed at group therapy because it isn't a problem. The fact that we both like wiitwd means I don't have problems with it so I don't need to discuss it. I discuss the things that are problems, that need working on.

That means I may ask someone for a good recipe for honey cake for Rosh HaShonah because I don't like the commercial ones. I talk about a tooth that's acting up at a dental visit. And I talk about problems being a single parent raising a son and how difficult it is to blend families with The Man.

My therapist knows I'm in a D/s relationship but it doesn't get discussed much because it doesn't cause problems. It solves them for me.

I discuss what's appropriate in the situation, not what isn't appropriate. And in my circle, it is appropriate when discussing having a barbecue for people to say they would love to but they have to check with their partners and can they get back to you about it tomorrow.

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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/3/2007 8:52:37 AM   
Archer


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Close freinds get some cross over time, but simple freinds do not, aquantences stick in the group they come from.
Confussing enough? LOL

I've taken my best freind to a couple Dungeon spaces he's educated but not interested in participating himself.
But he can enjoy the voyeristic thrills sometimes.
He's never watched me scene though.

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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/3/2007 8:59:39 AM   
chellekitty


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actually that makes perfect sense...i have one friend from my leather family that will on ocassion, when i am having a really really hard time, go with me to a meeting...she doesn't really fit in...but its more of a i need an incentive to sit my ass in that seat and be there kind of thing....if i got close to someone and found out they had that interest, i would do some cross over time...but i haven't...not yet anyway...
the simple friends get simple honest answers...aquantences get vague but honest answers...like instead of munch i say a meeting of a relationship support group...longer but shorter in the over all
thanks...
chelle

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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/3/2007 10:05:40 AM   
Archer


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LOL that reminds me when we go to a MAST (MAster's and slaves Together) meeting we tell the kids and family that we are going to our relationship support group meeting.
It's the truth, but tells them only that which they need to know. LOL.
MAST (Married and Singles Together) LOL


< Message edited by Archer -- 9/3/2007 10:06:56 AM >

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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/4/2007 12:59:01 AM   
chellekitty


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yes...SAS/m (San Antonio S/m) is San Antonio Social Meeting hehe

edited to add....if they knew where i was they would expect a much bigger venue for such a broad audience...


< Message edited by chellekitty -- 9/4/2007 1:00:07 AM >

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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/4/2007 6:42:06 AM   
e01n


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I miss Minnesota Stocks Debentures and Bonds...

Very camo'ed group, as you can see from it's name. Occasionally you'd recognize people at the table at the munch and say things like "Loved that last album. Working on a new one?" or "Wow. What was it like doing a love scene with X?"

But the idea was: we're just people having a good time with no common agenda. Nothing even to talk about outside the room... not even something to blink at.

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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/4/2007 6:57:15 AM   
chellekitty


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but we do have a common agenda...death to barney! damned purple dinosaurs....*shudders as she walks away*

chelle who should be going to school not reading message boards...or maybe checking to see what room her class is in hmmm

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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/4/2007 7:12:50 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

if you do find yourself in more than one sub-cultures with very little overlap...how do you mix them or not mix them or what do you do when someone asks you what you're doing this weekend or why you have that visable bruise or any other issue you have come across?



I tend to keep this world appart from the others, mostly because the others involve vanillas who are simply going to get confused.

The difficulty is when they express a romantic interest in me.

I've explained this world in detail to two of them, neither of them local. One I subsequently met (didn't work out, this was just too much of a stretch for her) and the other I didn't meet.

And with anyone else, I wouldn't discuss sex at all anyway. When they ask how my dating life is going, I can answer honestly without providing details.

I like my privacy.



Well said. I totally agree and this describes how I feel as well. I don't feel the need to share or explain to vanilla people what it is I do. We have vanilla friends and lifestyle friends and discuss different subjects accordingly. As for bruises and such I can explain those if seen by humor or by the fact I do training with horses.

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RE: mixing sub-cultures? - 9/4/2007 7:55:04 AM   
ChainsandFreedom


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e10n is right.
It's convieniant when your subcultures are more or less open to the idea of one another-sometimes a "fetish" event even capitalizes on this in terms of venue, and although its watered down, it can make a good party. 

As for subultures like Al Anon or Church, or something where the common ground is differant than a social preferance and is more formalized, this would be harder. But why do you have to make everyone at your church aware of your sex/social life in the first place? Respecting the group your a part of means theres a time and a place for that group, and you should be able to either embrace the group as it is or move on to one which is a better fit. 

Personally, I don't think that not telling everyone about my 'scene' interests means I'm hanging my collar at the door-it simply doesnt have to come up, so it doesnt.

Keeping your lives seperate is a reality and not always a sell out. For instance, Gay co-workers don't have a right to hit on anybody at work any more than straight ones, punk rockers don't have more of a right to show up hung over.

I simply tell co-workers and aquaitences I'm busy with personal stuff, a party, or friends that night.

Close friends are differant. My close vanilla friends, who I depend on for advice, know my deal. That way they can keep giving me relevant advice, and I don't have to lie to people, or avoid them,  about what I'm doing if their actually close enough to me to have a right to ask in the first place.

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