quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

timely discussion....Sir and i argued saturday night.  my insecurities flared up, he's under a great deal of life crap at the moment, and it got ugly all round.  ugly to the point that i offered to go away rather than hurt him any more.....

which he refused.  much conversation and many tears later, we've gotten back on course again, but it isnt over by a long shot......

kitten, who is still mournful

quote:

ORIGINAL: throwrug

If it were  me, i would love to have been kept informed, otherwise, it appears that i am being taken for granted and the other person doesn't even respect the time spent travelling for the date.
I might be biased, just take it the way you want, but i flew 2 hours for a first session(trampling) with a Domme and I told Her what time i would arrive and be at the front of the airport. She said She would pick me up, which sounded very nice, and i was appreciating that. If something was affecting my arrival time, i would call Her. After an on time arrival i did call Her but only got to leave a message. She doesn't live that far from the airport. And keep in mind, She had my cell phone number too. I waited for one hour in the hot sun, in an area where She could pick me up easily not fighting the traffic as much, and i mentioned it on the phone message. She never arrived. I was in no mood to have fun in a session at this point. So obviously it was pointless to continue. Since i thought She had been rude to leave me hanging, after all the trouble i went to, and the fact She had not even tried to call me once.....i left; i turned around and caught the next flight back home. (if i had stayed any longer and sessioned, then i would have had to get a hotel) believe me, i was in no mood to session and especially considering the extra time and cost of overnighting, after paying for what basically is an overpriced session anyway.
She emailed me either the next day or day after that. Saying i was rude to leave without calling Her (?!?!?!)   She told me She was helping Her friend out, who was drunk (and dang, it was only 12:00 or 1:00 at the latest), then She said She got into an accident on the way up. This was a lot to believe. I think She still could have called at some point, at least as She began Her trip to the airport.
I think i made the best decision, since i found out She was putting Her drunk acquaintance/friend before business with someone who has gone to a lot of effort to get there, and She left me totally in the dark as to what was happening. I guess all She really cared about was the money...it wasn't me.
She thought i was rude, i reminded Her of the time and travel i had put in and i was kept in the dark, even though She had my number.  Also, when the excitement/mood wears off, then the session is not going to be fun at all! 
I didn't mean to write so much, but i think anyone could feel jerked around, if they have put forth a lot of effort and then feel ignored.  Communication helps so much.
 
Throwrug

quote:

ORIGINAL: throwrug

If it were me, i would love to have been kept informed, otherwise, it appears that i am being taken for granted and the other person doesn't even respect the time spent travelling for the date.
I might be biased, just take it the way you want, but i flew 2 hours for a first session(trampling) with a Domme and I told Her what time i would arrive and be at the front of the airport. She said She would pick me up, which sounded very nice, and i was appreciating that. If something was affecting my arrival time, i would call Her. After an on time arrival i did call Her but only got to leave a message. She doesn't live that far from the airport. And keep in mind, She had my cell phone number too. I waited for one hour in the hot sun, in an area where She could pick me up easily not fighting the traffic as much, and i mentioned it on the phone message. She never arrived. I was in no mood to have fun in a session at this point. So obviously it was pointless to continue. Since i thought She had been rude to leave me hanging, after all the trouble i went to, and the fact She had not even tried to call me once.....i left; i turned around and caught the next flight back home. (if i had stayed any longer and sessioned, then i would have had to get a hotel) believe me, i was in no mood to session and especially considering the extra time and cost of overnighting, after paying for what basically is an overpriced session anyway.
She emailed me either the next day or day after that. Saying i was rude to leave without calling Her (?!?!?!) She told me She was helping Her friend out, who was drunk (and dang, it was only 12:00 or 1:00 at the latest), then She said She got into an accident on the way up. This was a lot to believe. I think She still could have called at some point, at least as She began Her trip to the airport.
I think i made the best decision, since i found out She was putting Her drunk acquaintance/friend before business with someone who has gone to a lot of effort to get there, and She left me totally in the dark as to what was happening. I guess all She really cared about was the money...it wasn't me.
She thought i was rude, i reminded Her of the time and travel i had put in and i was kept in the dark, even though She had my number. Also, when the excitement/mood wears off, then the session is not going to be fun at all!
I didn't mean to write so much, but i think anyone could feel jerked around, if they have put forth a lot of effort and then feel ignored. Communication helps so much.

Throwrug

quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

throwrug,

Your feelings about being taken for granted are valid and well stated.  Which is exactly why I took the time to reassure manthing that I would never abuse his time nor his energy with complete diffidence as to his efforts.

I wanted him to know that his efforts to see Me were not only appreciated they meant a great deal to Me.

At the same time, I expected him to understand that I simpy cannot disucss a dinner date via text or phone in front of My CEO who was hovering about My desk at the time.  We did communicate via a few terse text msgs, and I would have understood if he'd had to go ahead and leave.  He had a LONG drive home!  Late at night, too.  I would not have wanted him on the road late at night and too tired to drive safely because of Me.

At the same time, I expected him to wait for Me without reproach, because we had discussed my EOM close requirements earlier that afternoon.

Basically, he was inconvenienced because he wanted to see Me, and I was put in a bit of between the proverbial rock and that 'hard place' because I wanted to see him, too.

Ultimately, he responded to My request to join Me for dinner.

We still have some discussions ahead to make sure that feelings aren't hurt going forward, and he still needs a little bit of training so that he'll be able to accept that things just can't always be the way he wants them.

Best regards,

TM

I'd hope by now that 'manthing' understands the nature of your job and the limitations that your work environment places on your conduct while you're there.  If not, perhaps it's time for a refresher course to remind him of exactly what those are.

As to the terse text messages, that doesn't sound too good to me either.  It seems you were both looking forward to seeing each other, the EOM situation was known, along with the fact that it could get ugly despite the best laid plans.  So getting terse with you in a text message, to me shows a lack of understanding for your job as mentioned above and the conditions that could arise as stated earlier in the day; although optimistic at the time. 

Regardless, IMO, the change in the situation is no excuse for becoming terse with one's Mistress under the circumstances you've described.  Perhaps establishing a "code word" for you to use to let him know that he's stepping over the line and needs to back off would be appropriate for you to inform him of.  Then, should  he ever get terse again, just use it to let him know he needs to be quiet and listen, or just stop his complaining and use polite language of the sort he knows you'd like to hear.  It's at those times when he probably needs to be reminded that the only appropriate response is "Yes Ma'am".

As the saying goes, patience is a virtue.  It's not for me to judge anyone else's behavior, but I'd have never driven away under the circumstances you've described.  If anything, I might have asked via text if there was a place I could go to pick-up carry out so dinner would be ready for us to eat together when you were done, and I could still get on my way before it got too late in the evening.  Or I might have found something else to do nearby, such as shopping for things I needed or even better, simple/thoughtful gifts for you that I felt you'd appreciate.  I'd have simply asked you to text me when you were ready to leave so I could then drive quickly back to pick you up to take you out to dinner.

I think it's wonderful that you called him after you were free to leave work and took control of the situation.  This appears to be what 'manthing' was in need of as much as anything; direction from his domme that would reassure him he was important to her and that she was also still in control of the situation.  I suspect that your telling him to turn around was exactly what he needed; an exercise of your domination. 

It also sounds as though he may still need to know there are likely some consequences still pending for his behavior; that there will be "training" in the future to help him attain the level of patience or to learn whatever other lessons you feel are related to his having left before you were done with work for the day.  Clearly, that's something for you to best decide how to impart upon him.  You have the knowledge of the remaining facts unknown to us, along with the many details of the history between the two of you and the baggage you both carry; to work with, direct, and guide you in your decisions on how to best approach that one. 

With all that said, I'm happy for you that things ended that evening on a positive note.