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Times have changed - 9/3/2007 9:12:29 PM   
Severin4slave


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		I've been a Mistress for many years. In the past finding a submissive or slave was very easy. These days it seeks so very hard. I have been to parties, munches, Balls, clubs yet finding a sincere compatible slave is like finding a needle in the hay stack.

Either I find married men,collage boys (whom can't or wont commit or relocate), or subs that have so much fear they never show up. Any ideas on what I should do to attract and keep a slave? Any idea is better than no idea.

Severin4slave
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Times have changed - 9/3/2007 9:22:52 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Keep looking, as the lifestyle becomes more open to the public eye there are going to be alot more people coming in to either experiement, or even just look. Ergo it's harder to find the ones that do want a full time life time commitment. Everything worth having takes time and effort. Sometimes more then we'd like to put out but that's life. Sorry, no quick fix ideas for you.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Severin4slave)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Times have changed - 9/4/2007 10:59:11 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		This advertisement should help.

Talk here, if I were looking I'd watch the way a person handled themselves in a public forum.
Especially when talking about the lifestyle I live.  See if we had anything in common..etc.
As well as your own integrity I'd be watching.

(in reply to Severin4slave)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Times have changed - 9/4/2007 11:13:43 AM   
chathamvahere


Posts: 81
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		We tend to agree it is getting very difficult to find a quality person who wants this lifestyle, we have been looking for quite a while  for our pet. We just recently found CM as a source, but other then the forums (quite enjoyable) we have not found anyone who seems to want to at least meet for coffeeJ Mistress

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Times have changed - 9/4/2007 11:29:15 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		As a submissive female I cannot totally understand your situation but I have talked to many submissive males on the other side and between them and my experience with online and local communities I feel the particular Femdom relationship has suffered the most since the Internet happen.

Many submissive men I have corresponded to are too afraid to become active in their local community and use the Internet as their only way of an outlet and search. The problem then gets compounded as I think the most distorted view of this life comes from many female dominants on the personal sites are not looking for or portraying a sincere/realistic view of D/s and then these insincere/unrealistic females for whatever reason distort the view of a male submissive and a natural and healthy development of expectations and understanding of the life.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to chathamvahere)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Times have changed - 9/4/2007 11:55:14 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Is it that much harder or are you simply much more picky nowadays? Personally I think being picky is a good thing. You know what traits you want and don't want in a partner, you know what personality types you are and aren't compatible with. The more selective you are, the longer it will take to find someone however the payoff is that the likelihood is that this will be Mr Right, and not Mr Right Now.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Times have changed - 9/4/2007 3:20:39 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Well your requirements are pretty narrow and specific---so I'd say take a dose of patience and keep looking.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to Severin4slave)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Times have changed - 9/21/2007 9:52:04 AM   
SlaveSubtoserve


Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline 		 
...it could be also that the reality of genuine male slavedom has dawned on a lot of the male bottoms, subs, etc. that it is not primarily or all play and fun times fantasy-- the all encompassing , demands, and serious requirments of the life might have sunk in with many after years of internet-ing around.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Times have changed - 10/24/2007 10:18:57 PM   
Severin4slave


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		I change my profile regularly. I try to be flexible with what I'm looking for. I try and keep open minded without turning off my kinks, pleasures, honesty and needs. Sometimes I will be narrow and specific. Other times more general. I try not to short change myself or give useless hope to those I know I can't enjoy in the long run. I try to court my perspective sub, slave, pet, but most don't want to meet unless we "get to it". Others beg to meet me. Once we meet their fantasy didn't meet reality.  "toservez" and "Celeste43"  your reply hit me the hardest (not to say others didn't give light) I deeply understand what you had to say. I actually copied it to keep. Thanks to everyone though my reply was late.

I'm not seeking a quick fix; just sound advice, ideas, thoughts, experiences and the like.

_____________________________


That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do is increased.
> Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to SlaveSubtoserve)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Times have changed - 10/24/2007 10:53:21 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		aloha severin,

i think that our thoughts create our reality, and your thoughts are saying finding a slave is HARD...i spent 3 years saying , there is no DS in this tiny island....but then i started saying the opposit, and that same day i things changed radically. 

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to Severin4slave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Times have changed - 10/25/2007 8:22:34 AM   
Dilseachd


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I saw a similar discussion on a yahoo group a couple of years ago.  I recall there being an agreement in the local community I was in at the time that indeed there did seem to be a reduction in male submissives at local events anymore.   I think if you look at the majority of online Domme adverts these days you will see why so many sub males who "get it" dont bother to put themselves up on a board like this, and sadly the novices become intimidated by that so wont go out as often.   I see what the internet did for this lifestyle in many ways both good and bad.    If it wasnt for online discussion groups and resources when I first started looking fifteen years ago I never would have found anything, but I think there is a backlash to it as well. 

Look at the general way single male submissives are refered to in a chat room, forum, online erotica, or in so many of my previously mentioned Domme adverts.   Who wants to be lumped into some nasty stereotype of what a single male submissive is?   So many of the more genuine guys quit going out for the fear both genuine and imagined that if they go out to a club they are going to be practically invisible due to current attitudes.  Yes in some ways this is an over simplification of what is going on, but there was a concensus on that discussion board that this was not far from the truth.   Compare it to how many of the Old Guarde you see out in public anymore. 

With all due respect to Dennis Miller...but thats just my opinion...I might be wrong.

Regards to all,
Dils 

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Times have changed - 10/25/2007 6:40:11 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Just keep looking and be patient. Not everyone comes in 1-2 days. Just keep your head up and don't get discouraged

(in reply to Severin4slave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Times have changed - 10/25/2007 6:43:12 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		I think male subs are treated horribly. I can respect any decent human being-no matter what thier kinks are-stereotypes suck-and should be destroyed.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Times have changed - 10/25/2007 8:47:59 PM   
msindigomontoya


Posts: 28
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Just keep hanging in there.  Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person.  Don't give up hope, keep going to events, and munches and so on. 

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Times have changed - 10/27/2007 3:56:42 PM   
cuteguy40


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/24/2007
Status: offline 		i agree  took me 3 years to meet  someoone  good    the adult date sites
'have so many fake  ads nowa days  in some states online lists. i like collar.its been rough though

(in reply to msindigomontoya)
Profile   Post #: 15
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