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RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 10:36:52 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Yes,which is why a degree of sensitity is needful in Tops.

The choice may well be the highway.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: mmb1

Would you mind explaining this a little more?  You released him? 


Remember: " when you are under My control,  you have no right to choose--however, you always have the right to choose to be there"
 
So yes, slaves and submissives can let Dominants go.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 10:47:14 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		OK, thank you all for expressing your thoughts.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 1:59:29 PM   
WillowRain


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cautiousiasub

quote:

ORIGINAL: mmb1

I am just trying to understand how releasement if you both love each other is in both's "best interest", rather than sticking it out, expecting that with any relationship, there are ups and downs?

Love isn't always enough to keep a relationship going.

>Edited because my typing skills suck. 


Love is a powerful emotion and it can bridge a great number of things, but not everything. Love can't bridge two people that have foundationally different moral sets and structures, just to offer up one issue. Sometimes something as simple and impractical as putting a health nut and a cheeseburger scarfing smoker in the same house can be an impossible combination. Or say one person who is vanilla, with another who has a complete passion for the lifestyle.

It is completely possible, happens every day, to love someone deeply, to find great beauty and joy in them, and have utterly no chance of living with them in a way that would bring happiness to either person.

It is a great sorrow when anyone comes to this kind of realization. Sometimes it's not about the other person being "bad" or "evil" or "wrong", sometimes you just come to the painful conclusion that there isn't a path you can both go on that will lead to mutual happiness. In that situation it is best to let go, even though it hurts like a mo fo.

(in reply to cautiousiasub)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 3:20:27 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, but it was limited to one evening. Because I only saw him once after that in any "drama filled" sense - and it was in a court room. I have to see him on occasion now, because we both belong to the same social organization (non- BDSM affiliaited) - and we completely avoid eachother when we are both at those meetings (which isn't often). No drama whatsoever.

I suppose it helps that I have a restraining order against him that I can enforce if I choose, and also that neither of us particularly desires to be publicly "outed".

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/4/2007 3:23:30 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 7:08:02 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		How unfortunate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Yes, but it was limited to one evening. Because I only saw him once after that in any "drama filled" sense - and it was in a court room. I have to see him on occasion now, because we both belong to the same social organization (non- BDSM affiliaited) - and we completely avoid eachother when we are both at those meetings (which isn't often). No drama whatsoever.

I suppose it helps that I have a restraining order against him that I can enforce if I choose, and also that neither of us particularly desires to be publicly "outed".

- Susan

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 7:09:38 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		I'd like to thank everyone for thier respnses so far-it gave me much to ponder.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 7:16:42 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		When i ended things with my former Master, it was a pretty clean break no drama... i heard through the grape vine that he was a lil broken up about it. but he never shown it to me....

We still talk time to time.... he just LOVES to tell me about his new sub.... i just giggle.... still just a man trying to make a female jelouse....

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 7:25:56 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Yes i released my former Master.  It was a highly explosive relationship...two very passionate people...one a total and complete narcassistic, sociopathic, complusive liar... and the other was practically perfect in every way!   (ok ok only half of that statement is true).  In any event, it was a drama filled relationship, with  a drama filled ending. 

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 8:25:42 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well... if you call the fact that I was relieved to be rid of him drama, and add to it the attempted blackmail on his part (which was quickly nipped in the bud by a phone call, a police report, and an official police visit to his place of employment), and the successful lawsuit against him on my part (followed by garnishment of his wages), then yeah, there was drama.

< Message edited by Evanesce -- 9/4/2007 8:26:26 PM >

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 8:40:50 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Grins really really big-good on ya.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

Well... if you call the fact that I was relieved to be rid of him drama, and add to it the attempted blackmail on his part (which was quickly nipped in the bud by a phone call, a police report, and an official police visit to his place of employment), and the successful lawsuit against him on my part (followed by garnishment of his wages), then yeah, there was drama.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 9:18:36 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		I cut two of them loose.  There was some drama, but not a lot.  I'm pretty much a once-I-have-decided-its-over-its-over kind of gal.  In other words, once you find my foot in your ass as I'm shoving you out the door, you're never getting back in.  The drama is that I have to have my say.  In both cases, it was because he lied and cheated and I just don't take that crap off of anyone.  Period.  There are no second chances for those offenses.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 10:10:23 PM   
cautiousiasub


Posts: 199
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		Quote WillowRain:

"It is completely possible, happens every day, to love someone deeply, to find great beauty and joy in them, and have utterly no chance of living with them in a way that would bring happiness to either person.

It is a great sorrow when anyone comes to this kind of realization. Sometimes it's not about the other person being "bad" or "evil" or "wrong", sometimes you just come to the painful conclusion that there isn't a path you can both go on that will lead to mutual happiness. In that situation it is best to let go, even though it hurts like a mo fo."

For me, this is the worst type, knowing that you love them but that the two of you will never be happy together because of your differences, whatever they are. It's much easier to let go when the love is gone...

<Edited because if I try to delete part of a quote, it screws it all up...anyone know what I'm doing wrong?  

< Message edited by cautiousiasub -- 9/4/2007 10:12:46 PM >

(in reply to WillowRain)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 10:48:39 PM   
michaels4evr


Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		ummm yes..with my first Master..lots of drama..it took abour four years for us to be able to have a friendship with eachother..

with another..there was no drama..we continue to be good friends today.

I agree with the love comment above..I loved both of these men, but our incompatibilities made life miserable for both of us or one of us..love did not conquer all.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/4/2007 11:53:20 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		released? if i had gone fishing or had trapped him, perhaps i would have released him...or maybe if i had collared him i would have released him from the collar...however, i did none of these things, so a release was not necessary, we went on our own ways, of course there was drama...because we as humans thrive on drama and will create drama until we have a more serious effort to unite together against...you know...world hunger, terrorism, asteroids headed towards the earth and are going to destroy us....oh wait that was the movie armegedon....but...we, as a liberal media influenced society, are very instant gratification...we couldn't solve those like the monday new york times crossword puzzle so we gave up and said...its a hopeless cause, come back, sit in your desk chair and ummm i belive i have gotten off topic..................so...yea....
chelle...is it time for another cig?

(in reply to michaels4evr)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/5/2007 1:49:42 AM   
callistaIn


Posts: 62
Status: offline 		If I released him? I am sorry, but the idea itself is just too funny to even comprehend.

Once I am his; I can not release him. Only he can release me.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/5/2007 2:03:09 AM   
Satyr6406


Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: callistaIn

If I released him? I am sorry, but the idea itself is just too funny to even comprehend.

Once I am his; I can not release him. Only he can release me.


Well, if a "submissive" is used to "topping from the bottom", I suppose this is completely accurate but, I had the same thought, when I read the initial question.
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,


Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to callistaIn)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/5/2007 2:24:40 AM   
merrysbrat


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/9/2005
From: Minnesooootah
Status: offline 		This makes me completely scared for girls like this, that can't take care of themselves enough to get out of a bad relationship when it is needed. I just pray you find the right Master/dom when you settle down with one, otherwise I guess you're SOL.

quote:

ORIGINAL: callistaIn

If I released him? I am sorry, but the idea itself is just too funny to even comprehend.

Once I am his; I can not release him. Only he can release me.


_____________________________

Does a four year old really have an ego?

R.I.P. River <3

(in reply to callistaIn)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/5/2007 4:31:51 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		fast reply...

i wouldnt have used the phrase "released my dominant" but yes, i have broken the Dom/sub bond i had with one man.  it was years ago, he crossed a VERY hard limit of mine and caused me tremendous emotional distress.  i told him i still loved him but could not trust him to keep my heart safe any longer, and would not sub for him.

i kept in a relationship with him, kept taking care of him, till he passed away a year and some months later.  no regrets.

kitten

(in reply to merrysbrat)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/5/2007 4:52:51 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: merrysbrat

This makes me completely scared for girls like this, that can't take care of themselves enough to get out of a bad relationship when it is needed. I just pray you find the right Master/dom when you settle down with one, otherwise I guess you're SOL.

quote:

ORIGINAL: callistaIn

If I released him? I am sorry, but the idea itself is just too funny to even comprehend.

Once I am his; I can not release him. Only he can release me.


I know this was directed at someone else but...

I was in a relationship for over ten years with a man; it was not in me to walk out the door and end things. I was mentally, emotionally, and psychologically incable of breaking the bonds that were woven around me. It has nothing to do with whether or not I was capable of taking care of myself or not; and everything to do with believing in the committment that I had made to him; not to mention the trust that I had in him.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to merrysbrat)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: If you released your Dominant. - 9/5/2007 5:43:49 AM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		if release was an option , it would no longer be what i need. i need forever, trust, honesty.these i knew before the collar was placed on me.  Master doesnt need to lie or hide things from this girl. He is Master. the collar is stronger than the ring.
things may change as it does in life. but i will be His forever. i am not weak, i have been independent for too many years. i still take care of my basics.
when i recieved His collar it wasnt till things get difficult, till i get tired of you, till something better comes along. i serve Him and no other. there will never be another.
i feel sad for those that have been lied to or mistreated. those whose collar became a yoke.(not ha ha, but whats put on animals of burden *wink*) . to lose trust is one of the most devastating things that can happen.
thank you those that wrote about their experiences. theres always something to be learned when this is done.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 40
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