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finding a Master - 9/4/2007 11:14:08 PM   
wantsamaster595


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline 		I am having a hard time finding a Master. We start off good, then they disappear or something happens. Is this common practice? Is there a better way than internet?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: finding a Master - 9/4/2007 11:19:04 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		The internet is possibly the worst way. Try meeting real people in real life instead.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to wantsamaster595)
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RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 1:57:51 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i have met many good people through the internet.  i have met really good people through local munch groups.  Check out the groups in your area.  Not all munch groups are good for meeting potential Masters.  The ones in my area, for example, are primarily established couples, but it does give me an opportunity to learn new things go to demonstrations, etc.  The internet is like a flea market.... a whole lot of junk... but if you're patient and keep looking, you can find a real treasure.  i did.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to wantsamaster595)
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RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 2:27:12 AM   
Satyr6406


Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline 		I can be found in a karaoke bar.
 
I don't know. I don't think that munches and BDSM-related functions are the only places to find people in the lifestyle.
 
I think, if our antennae are finely tuned, we can find like-minded individuals just about anywhere. I've met people in county parks, bars, coffee shops, etc.
 
True enough, on a site, like this, we're sort of "certain" about the fact that we are only going to run into people that espouse this lifestyle in some form or another but, jut because we have a "common thread" with people, it doesn't mean that we can build an entire lifetime out of that. There's a real world, out there that we need to live in and we are, each of us, people with different wants and passtimes, etc.
 
Why not meet someone somewhere where you enjoy going, see if they give you that "dominant" feel, and then, discuss the lifestyle with them?
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

< Message edited by Satyr6406 -- 9/5/2007 2:49:21 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,


Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to eyesopened)
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RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 2:45:15 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wantsamaster595

I am having a hard time finding a Master. We start off good, then they disappear or something happens. Is this common practice? Is there a better way than internet?


Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet. It's -very- common for people to vanish-they weren't serious in the begining and you sacred them off because you were sincere.

Some think that because its the internet it doesn't count so they just leave, some start out being sincere with one person, see someone they like more and go after them instead, they know you probably wont be abe to find them in the real world so there's no come back on them, thus, it doesn't matter how they treat you there's nowt you can do.

There are also people here who don't care about BDSM and just join for a laugh.

Real life is better but  there are still problems with that.

Happy hunting.

(in reply to wantsamaster595)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 2:49:23 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		give you that "dominant" feel? i'm voting for not the one that slaps you on the ass as you walk by 

i wanna go sing karaoke...no one will go with me except the my friend who is a live in nanny who asked her employer to fire the 2 night a week babysitter (stupid head)...speaking of...friday is my next free day, she needs to finish my ink...yes...shes a live in nanny/tattoo artist and piercer...oh well, not like any of the places around here have anything new...or unscratched...and the journey cd got stolen from the regular place...i need to get my own book....anywho...

ummm finding a Master online is kind of like buying underwear online...bear with me for a minute...you can find the right size...and you know what it looks like on a perfectly shaped model or layed out...but you have no idea what the material feels like, how much stretch it has...how big is the crotch to ass ratio...does the crotch have a cotton lining...are those little hearts or little flowers or little dots or what? and i thought i was buying some suck me in panties not some swallow me whole panties or i said i had a bubble butt not a small family i wanted to cover...ya know...and its really just easier to do a little shopping around town for that perfect pair of panties...online can be helpful in narrowing things down...but is not the end all and be all of finding things...eventually, if you want real life, you have to step from behind the computer screen....

Now....a Master is hopefully gonna last you a bit longer than a pair of panties so you want to do a bit more involved shopping....but...you get the idea...if you can't sense it (see, hear, touch, smell, eventually taste - though licking his cheek as a greeting could be fun) fairly soon...it makes things much more difficult...not impossible...just harder...theres a lot of advice already written on these boards...and when LA wakes up she can help you find it if you need help...

good luck..
chelle

(in reply to Satyr6406)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 3:02:56 AM   
Satyr6406


Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

give you that "dominant" feel? i'm voting for not the one that slaps you on the ass as you walk by   ...

good luck..
chelle



You're equating "activity" with "dominance" and, for me, that just doesn't fly.
 
As I've said, many times (almost ad nauseum): D/s is WHO WE ARE. BDSM is WHAT SOME OF US DO.
 
Anyone can "smack an ass" in a bar (being an assman, I see plenty I'd like to do that to) but, not many can inspire another human being to "march to their drum". If someone could inspire you to devote your life to them because they "smacked your ass, just right", I would feel sorry for you and recommend that you refine your selection process.
 
There are so many other factors that are required to maintain a healthy long-term relationship that BDSM activities (imo) should be just barely a blip on the radar.
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,


Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 3:17:31 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Good point, Michael, and I think many do...equate dominance with activity.  And, they are usually disappointed when they discover the difference.

(in reply to Satyr6406)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 3:43:38 AM   
Satyr6406


Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Good point, Michael, and I think many do...equate dominance with activity.  And, they are usually disappointed when they discover the difference.


Oh! "Disappointed" is faaaaaaar from my experience. I find that there are many masochists that just assume that they are submissive, by extension and, as someone who does NOT engage in BDSM activities (the way most feel it should be practiced), I can tell you that my e-mail/personal communications on IM services have gotten quite "heated" about why I bother being on a "BDSM" website.
 
I am a dominant and, so far, this is the best website that even comes close to addressing my community that I have found.
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,


Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 3:49:34 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I guess I was being subtle.  And I agree that some masochists assume they are submissive; however, there isn't a "choice" here for bottom so we do the best we can.  Of course, one would think that outlooks, philosophy, etc. would be discussed PRIOR to entering into a relationship, but I'm sure some don't. 

(in reply to Satyr6406)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 4:29:35 AM   
HurtU


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		Quite right, Michael, and it's surprising how many folks don't realize that.  A "Dom" can be quite passive at times ... heck, I don't thrash a lot when getting a blowjob!  OR active ... gimme a nubile sub & a flog & just see who works up a sweat.

And a sub/slave can be active ... or passive ... as the counterpart to the above.

Some Doms can be predominantly (usually) active ... or passive ... according to their nature ... same w/ subs.  Nothing more disappointing all around than a Passive Dom paired w/ a passive sub!

And I've known a bunch of masochists who aren't submissive or slavish at all!    And some sado/masochists who aren't very Dominant.    Ya gotta be specific about who you are ... and who you are looking for.  The more specialized we get (beyond the High School goal of just finding the opposite gender), the harder it is to find a good match, even on the WWW!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406
You're equating "activity" with "dominance" and, for me, that just doesn't fly.

(in reply to Satyr6406)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 7:18:05 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		So what's the difference between meeting someone online and it doesn't work out and meeting somebody at a party, talking for 20 minutes, and not getting asked out?

Seriously, most relationships don't work out. That's why people keep dating. If every first date went straight to happily ever after then we'd all be married to our high school boyfriends. Life isn't like that.

(in reply to HurtU)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 7:27:47 AM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		People in real time disappear as well.  Things go along, become clear that it isn't gonna work, and things sorta fade away.  And without a big connection sometimes that fade away happens without a conversation.  People go on a couple of dates and then stop calling.  To me this is life.  In person and on the internet.  Most people are not compatible with me and fading away is really just fine.



< Message edited by arayofsunshine55 -- 9/5/2007 7:28:41 AM >

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to wantsamaster595)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 7:34:01 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'd say work more on your initial screening process so you can quickly tell who is just playing around and getting fish on lines, and who might actually have potential.  Take your time.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 8:39:25 AM   
wantsamaster595


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline 		Michael, love your comments here. Thanks so much for your imput, too bad you arent in Ohio.
L

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 9:11:53 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wantsamaster595

I am having a hard time finding a Master. We start off good, then they disappear or something happens. Is this common practice? Is there a better way than internet?


I always recommend new people to at least try your local community as just being on the Internet tends to distort reality and it can often make this life appear quite different and give a false impression of what the people are truly like which is to say basically quite normal with a few differences.

I do not think the Internet is a waste or worse case area to meet someone, I met my Master on here, but I do think people are better equipped if they have a base before going on the Internet so hopefully you can minimalize the disappearing acts and other what the heck situations encountered and keep a good attitude.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to wantsamaster595)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 10:30:40 AM   
goalie62


Posts: 114
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wantsamaster595

Michael, love your comments here. Thanks so much for your imput, too bad you arent in Ohio.
L


Having just read your profile, I'llsay too bad YOU"RE not in Michigan, LOL.  Be patient and never ignore your first instinct.  The right one will find you.


_____________________________

God, you have no idea how badly I want to put something profound here.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 12:02:38 PM   
oriole


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/28/2004
Status: offline 		It's certainly possible to find someone online...but I don't think it's the best way at all.  I've been fairly disappointed in my search here so far, and am trying to re-establish some contacts in the community and get out "in the mix" more.

(in reply to wantsamaster595)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 12:40:24 PM   
freyjasdottir


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: PA
Status: offline 		Well, I started by looking behind the couch but had no luck.

Sorry, that was bad I know.  Just take your time and take all the disappearances with a grain of salt, or a pillar as the case may be.

(in reply to oriole)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: finding a Master - 9/5/2007 2:27:19 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

give you that "dominant" feel? i'm voting for not the one that slaps you on the ass as you walk by   ...

good luck..
chelle



You're equating "activity" with "dominance" and, for me, that just doesn't fly.
 
As I've said, many times (almost ad nauseum): D/s is WHO WE ARE. BDSM is WHAT SOME OF US DO.
<snip>


note the bold underlined itallicized word...

(in reply to Satyr6406)
Profile   Post #: 20
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