a question please

a question please (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

Justagrrl -> a question please (9/5/2007 8:18:20 PM)
how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ? confused

Shadowen -> RE: a question please (9/5/2007 8:20:13 PM)
How ever many makes you feel comfortable, safe and secure I would imagine. Don't think there is any set standards but then again I've let my subscription to Master's Weekly run out so they might have had an article or something there.

Masternslave07 -> RE: a question please (9/5/2007 8:24:52 PM)
For a first meeting I would say a couple of weeks. If things click, go out and do some vanilla get togethers before you play. That gives you a chance to see if the initial good impression sticks before you put yourself in their hands.

stacysearching -> RE: a question please (9/5/2007 8:28:45 PM)
You're 37, just use your head. Deciding to scene with someone is a judgement call and it varies person to person. Personally, I would never play with someone I didn't know well...unless I got a case of serious edgeplay hitting me all of a sudden from nowhere....and I lost all common sense. Would you hop in bed with someone the first time you meet them face to face or after dating them a week or a month for example. Again, it varies depending who you talk to. I would make a concerted effort to have met him a ton of times prior to said play date. But that is just how I would do it, and it does not apply to anyone else.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a question please (9/5/2007 8:38:36 PM)
I need at least one phone call if we meet online. If we meet offline, I need to know one of us has a condom and isn't cheating.

iammachine -> RE: a question please (9/5/2007 10:00:23 PM)
However many it takes, however long it takes until all parties are comfortable.

Focus50 -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 3:56:44 AM)
*I'd suggest the same amount of time as a vanilla couple dating decide to get sexual. When it feels right to both* of them. Seems to me that if you're confused then the time isn't right for you. If you're unsure or getting pressured, you should go with your instincts relative to a similar vanilla situation. Focus.**

Bobkgin -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 4:02:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Justagrrl how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ? confused I am curious as to why you would think there was a magic number. If you don't like him, the answer is "never". If you like him and feel safe enough to meet, the answer is "now". If you are unsure about whether you like him and/or feel safe with him, the answer is "not yet".

mstrjx -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 4:10:14 AM)
This answer hasn't come up yet, so I'll just broaden the spectrum. With the truth, of course. Usually, it is the first day. If the person was local, and it seemed worth getting together at all, then there might be play (and/or more) that day. Some would say that's a little quick, but I and the partners I've had over the years seemed to turn out all right. The right answer 'is' that there is no right answer, but that can include sooner rather than later. Jeff

HalloweenWhite -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 6:44:24 AM)
Until it feels right.

LordBeast -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 7:09:09 AM)
Thats an Easy answer. Till you fell right.. If you can't answer these question then its not time. Do you want to be with him? Do I trust him? Do I feel safe around him? And I saved the best for last. If your heart and your mind can't give you the same answer. Then its not ment to be.

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 7:20:58 AM)
If you deal with this as an exact science you will remain confused I think. You have got to have interpersonal skills to deal with people. And to begin this dance I think it is useful to have really good ones. What I do depends upon the person. What we've discussed, the pace of the conversation. I will meet quickly if I find the person very engaging. When will we do more? Depends. Reality there are at least 2 people involved in the decision-making.

Celeste43 -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 7:29:16 AM)
Whatever you feel comfortable with. Back in college I had a couple of one night stands, met at a party and went home with him for the night. These days I need to be friends first and you don't get that in one night. We emailed, IMed and phoned for about a month before the first meet. What was going to be brunch turned into all day at the beach nearby. We played on the second meet. But we talked exhaustively for that month and during the long day at the beach and the couple of weeks until the first play date. And between the first play date and the second. We talked about everything we could think of, that either of us wanted to know or needed to share.

twistedkytten -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 11:49:26 AM)
I agree with the whatever feels right to both parties involved... If you have a single phone call that lasts for hours and you are wowed... go for it.. if you have a conversation for 10 minutes that leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth... either way... best of luck and be safe.

Mercnbeth -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 12:04:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Justagrrl how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ? confused I'd answer your question as posed; "...arrange to serve or set up play date..." with - NEVER. If the question was, how quickly do you meet in person in a safe, neutral, location with the expectation of determining if what was represented via the internet and phone was accurate; the answer would be - As soon as possible. Personally I used the 2 week guide. If I couldn't engender confidence and trust that a meeting with me was safe within that two week period - I'd move on; knowing that I had provided all possible personal/professional reference to confirm my information and that I was, as I represented in my profile and initial internet/phone contact. Without confirmation and verification, no representation made via the internet or by phone should be considered fact until proved by real time access. Making plans to 'play' or 'serve' before confirming even if the person is the gender he/she claimed to be is a set up for disappointment and failure at best, and death at worse. Meet quickly to avoid mental and emotional investment in a fraud. Once you meet, take your time and play/scene when you and your partner have earned enough trust in each other to consider it safe.

treadingwater -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 12:09:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Justagrrl how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ? confused You wait until YOU are comfortable with the person. Outside of that, I agree pretty much with what everyone else has said here. tw

shyinini -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 7:59:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: Justagrrl how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ? confused I am curious as to why you would think there was a magic number. If you don't like him, the answer is "never". If you like him and feel safe enough to meet, the answer is "now". If you are unsure about whether you like him and/or feel safe with him, the answer is "not yet". this is cool....LOL ! in response I thought.... if I met him in a pub, was drawn to his dominance, thought I'd like to see if I was his type of cocksucking submissive, enjoyed his laughter, thought his eyes sparkled, liked his ass in jeans, his hands were awesome and he controlled himself masterfully..... I'd beg....Sir, my place is clean or would you like to take me home. But then when you are our age,no grass grows under ones feet when some spark is there and you gotta see if its a fit.............. grab the gusto and fly ! whooooraaaaaaaaaa ! Sir's girl, who never had to ask such a question...... I loved the feel of his hand in my hair as he dragged me home !! [:)] oh gawd.......that was my fantasy, not how it happened LOLOLOL

slaverosebeauty -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 8:49:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Justagrrl how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ? With MJ over 3 years, hundreds of conversations, emails, phone calls and IM conversations; does that count?! We have been friends for years, and things were complicated and I never really considered Him 'Master Material' things change. DAMN do they ever. Normally?! Depends on the person, the connection, where they live in relation to me, that sorta thing. No magical number. As a general rule, at LEAST 6 or 7 emails, 3 or 4 long IM conversations and as many phone calls, with me calling them at different intervals, never know, someone may be married, and I make sure I have the guy's last night BEFORE I agree to meet him. I run a background check on someone before I consider playing with them. My suggestion, take things slow, no harm in that. Listen to your gut and regardless of the naysayers, get safecalls set up and other basic saftey measures in place BEFORE you meet someone, even if just for coffee. Better to be safe than on the front page.

SleepyBeast -> RE: a question please (9/6/2007 9:19:49 PM)
You should wait until after you have had: 397 IM conversations 176 e-mails 52 Phone calls 3 Messages recieved by homing pigeon and 1 message passed along by smoke signals. Or just wait until you both feel comfortable, your choice.

SirDraco7 -> RE: a question please (9/7/2007 4:42:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Justagrrl how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ? confused Like others have said, there is no special number. It is only when you are both comfortable and when you both trust and feel safe about everything. Make sure you have a couple non play in person meetings if possible before you play, and I would highly reccommend not playing on your first meeting in person. But that all depends on circumstances and your relationship. As long as you are ok and comfortable and you trust him, you'll know. :)

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125