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a question please - 9/5/2007 8:18:20 PM   
Justagrrl


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline 		how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ?
 
confused
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RE: a question please - 9/5/2007 8:20:13 PM   
Shadowen


Posts: 34
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline 		How ever many makes you feel comfortable, safe and secure I would imagine. Don't think there is any set standards but then again I've let my subscription to Master's Weekly run out so they might have had an article or something there.


(in reply to Justagrrl)
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RE: a question please - 9/5/2007 8:24:52 PM   
Masternslave07


Posts: 203
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		For a first meeting I would say a couple of weeks. If things click, go out and do some vanilla get togethers before you play. That gives you a chance to see if the initial good impression sticks before you put yourself in their hands.

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RE: a question please - 9/5/2007 8:28:45 PM   
stacysearching


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/21/2006
Status: offline 		You're 37, just use your head.  Deciding to scene with someone is a judgement call and it varies person to person.  Personally, I would never play with someone I didn't know well...unless I got a case of serious edgeplay hitting me all of a sudden from nowhere....and I lost all common sense. 

Would you hop in bed with someone the first time you meet them face to face or after dating them a week or a month for example.  Again, it varies depending who you talk to. 

I would make a concerted effort to have met him a ton of times prior to said play date.  But that is just how I would do it, and it does not apply to anyone else.

(in reply to Justagrrl)
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RE: a question please - 9/5/2007 8:38:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I need at least one phone call if we meet online.  If we meet offline, I need to know one of us has a condom and isn't cheating.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: a question please - 9/5/2007 10:00:23 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		However many it takes, however long it takes until all parties are comfortable.

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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 3:56:44 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		I'd suggest the same amount of time as a vanilla couple dating decide to get sexual.  When it feels right to *both* of them. 
 
Seems to me that if you're confused then the time isn't right for you.  If you're unsure or getting pressured, you should go with your instincts relative to a similar vanilla situation.
 
Focus.

(in reply to iammachine)
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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 4:02:46 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justagrrl

how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ?
 
confused


I am curious as to why you would think there was a magic number.

If you don't like him, the answer is "never".

If you like him and feel safe enough to meet, the answer is "now".

If you are unsure about whether you like him and/or feel safe with him, the answer is "not yet".


_____________________________

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That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 4:10:14 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		This answer hasn't come up yet, so I'll just broaden the spectrum.  With the truth, of course.

Usually, it is the first day.  If the person was local, and it seemed worth getting together at all, then there might be play (and/or more) that day.  Some would say that's a little quick, but I and the partners I've had over the years seemed to turn out all right.

The right answer 'is' that there is no right answer, but that can include sooner rather than later.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Justagrrl)
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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 6:44:24 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Until it feels right.

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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 7:09:09 AM   
LordBeast


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/16/2004
Status: offline 		Thats an Easy answer.  Till you fell right..  If you can't answer these question  then its not time.
Do you want to be with him?   Do I trust him?   Do I feel safe around him? 
And I saved the best for last.  If  your heart and your mind can't give you the same answer.  Then its not ment to be.



















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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 7:20:58 AM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		If you deal with this as an exact science you will remain confused I think.  You have got to have interpersonal skills to deal with people.  And to begin this dance I think it is useful to have really good ones.  What I do depends upon the person.  What we've discussed, the pace of the conversation.  I will meet quickly if I find the person very engaging.  When will we do more?  Depends.  Reality there are at least 2 people involved in the decision-making.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Justagrrl)
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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 7:29:16 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Whatever you feel comfortable with.

Back in college I had a couple of one night stands, met at a party and went home with him for the night. These days I need to be friends first and you don't get that in one night.

We emailed, IMed and phoned for about a month before the first meet. What was going to be brunch turned into all day at the beach nearby.

We played on the second meet. But we talked exhaustively for that month and during the long day at the beach and the couple of weeks until the first play date. And between the first play date and the second.

We talked about everything we could think of, that either of us wanted to know or needed to share.

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)
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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 11:49:26 AM   
twistedkytten


Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with the whatever feels right to both parties involved... If you have a single phone call that lasts for hours and you are wowed... go for it.. if  you have a conversation for 10 minutes that leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth... either way... best of luck and be safe.

(in reply to Celeste43)
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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 12:04:56 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justagrrl

how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ?
confused


I'd answer your question as posed; "...arrange to serve or set up play date..." with - NEVER.

If the question was, how quickly do you meet in person in a safe, neutral, location with the expectation of determining if what was represented via the internet and phone was accurate; the answer would be - As soon as possible. Personally I used the 2 week guide. If I couldn't engender confidence and trust that a meeting with me was safe within that two week period - I'd move on; knowing that I had provided all possible personal/professional reference to confirm my information and that I was, as I represented in my profile and initial internet/phone contact.

Without confirmation and verification, no representation made via the internet or by phone should be considered fact until proved by real time access. Making plans to 'play' or 'serve' before confirming even if the person is the gender he/she claimed to be is a set up for disappointment and failure at best, and death at worse.

Meet quickly to avoid mental and emotional investment in a fraud. Once you meet, take your time and play/scene when you and your partner have earned enough trust in each other to consider it safe.

(in reply to Justagrrl)
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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 12:09:33 PM   
treadingwater


Posts: 11
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justagrrl

how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ?
 
confused

You wait until YOU are comfortable with the person.
 
Outside of that, I agree pretty much with what everyone else has said here.
 
tw

(in reply to Justagrrl)
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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 7:59:55 PM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justagrrl

how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ?
 
confused


I am curious as to why you would think there was a magic number.

If you don't like him, the answer is "never".

If you like him and feel safe enough to meet, the answer is "now".

If you are unsure about whether you like him and/or feel safe with him, the answer is "not yet".



this is cool....LOL ! 
in response I thought.... if I met him in a pub, was drawn to his dominance, thought I'd like to see if I was his type of cocksucking submissive, enjoyed his laughter, thought his eyes sparkled, liked his ass in jeans, his hands were awesome and  he controlled himself masterfully.....
I'd beg....Sir, my place is clean or would you like to take me home.  But then when you are our age,no grass grows under ones feet when some spark is there and you gotta see if its a fit..............  grab the gusto and fly !
 
whooooraaaaaaaaaa  !
 
Sir's girl, who never had to ask such a question......
I loved the feel of his hand in my hair as he dragged me home !!  
 
oh gawd.......that was my fantasy, not how it happened LOLOLOL

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.


(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 8:49:41 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justagrrl
how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ?


With MJ over 3 years, hundreds of conversations, emails, phone calls and IM conversations; does that count?! We have been friends for years, and things were complicated and I never really considered Him 'Master Material' things change. DAMN do they ever.
 
Normally?! Depends on the person, the connection, where they live in relation to me, that sorta thing. No magical number. As a general rule, at LEAST 6 or 7 emails, 3 or 4 long IM conversations and as many phone calls, with me calling them at different intervals, never know, someone may be married, and I make sure I have the guy's last night BEFORE I agree to meet him. I run a background check on someone before I consider playing with them.
 
My suggestion, take things slow, no harm in that. Listen to your gut and regardless of the naysayers, get safecalls set up and other basic saftey measures in place BEFORE you meet someone, even if just for coffee. Better to be safe than on the front page.  

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"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to Justagrrl)
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RE: a question please - 9/6/2007 9:19:49 PM   
SleepyBeast


Posts: 122
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		You should wait until after you have had:

397 IM conversations
176 e-mails
52 Phone calls
3 Messages recieved by homing pigeon
and 1 message passed along by smoke signals.

Or just wait until you both feel comfortable, your choice.

< Message edited by SleepyBeast -- 9/6/2007 9:21:10 PM >

(in reply to Justagrrl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: a question please - 9/7/2007 4:42:13 AM   
SirDraco7


Posts: 108
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justagrrl

how long do You wait until You arrange to serve or set up play date with "Master/Dom" how many in person.email, phone conversations before You play/serve Him/Her or whomever ?
 
confused


Like others have said, there is no special number.  It is only when you are both comfortable and when you both trust and feel safe about everything.
Make sure you have a couple non play in person meetings if possible before you play, and I would highly reccommend not playing on your first meeting in person.   But that all depends on circumstances and your relationship.

As long as you are ok and comfortable and you trust him, you'll know.  :)

(in reply to Justagrrl)
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