What makes a GREAT pro-domme?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

What makes a GREAT pro-domme?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> What makes a GREAT pro-domme?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 5:23:43 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

Now for something different.....

In my home town, the professional dominatrices are the undisputed Queens of the sex industry

A session with a good pro-dom might only take an hour, but the thrill can last a life time.

For many of us, our most memorable, exhilarating and mind-blowing BDSM experiences of our lives were with a pro-dom, not amateurs.

So what distinguishes these Goddesses from all the wannabes? Why do their loyal clients happily pay $100s per hour? Again and again?

In my experience, the great pro-doms have:
a calm, stern "presence" (over the phone and in person),
unflappable grace under pressure,
appreciation for the bizarre,
look great for their age,
exude female sexual power

and most importantly....

are very, very smart.

It also helps if she really likes people, especially men, and treats unusual fetishes/kinks with respect.

What do you think makes a great professional dominatrix great (distinguishing her from the not-so-great).

Thanks!

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 9/6/2007 6:10:18 AM >

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

Post #: 1

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 5:32:06 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

By the way, one of my favorite dominatrices is Mistress J (Dr Jody Hanson, PhD).

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/05/06/1051987689668.html

She's smart, funny, sexy and a tireless advocate for the BDSM industry. Her parties are infamous; her dungeon is Disneyland for naughty boys and girls. And she is FUN!

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 9/6/2007 6:12:01 AM >

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 2

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 5:59:30 AM

MsLilac

Posts: 151
Joined: 5/31/2007
Status: offline

In my opinion, with all the bashing I’ve seen on here regarding women providing those kind of services for money, it’s good to see a positive thread for it giving insight into what they do. I'm afraid I personally cannot contribute, as I've never been pro, but great topic.

_____________________________

I’m sorry, I don’t do autographs

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 3

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 6:22:34 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Read Mistress J's book (just had to with the similarity in names LOL!) and was much impressed. She has a very clear understanding of D/s, both in its application within a lifestyle and the different way in which it plays out in the professional sphere. As an academic, I appreciated Her mind and Her clarity of thought and expression, I found that very refreshing. I think there is definitely room for pro-Dommes and of those I have met in person, I have liked most a lot! The one I didn't like I didn't consider to be a Dominant, let alone a professional ...

I don't want to get hung up on the whole financial tribute thing, but from what I have seen, pro-Dommes don't generally do that either ... it's more a straight out transaction of x amount of cash for specific "services", depending on the nature of the scene the client requires. And I liked what Mistress J wrote about it being like "theatre" ... She is there to stage a great production incorporating the wishes of Her paying client ... but adding enough of Her own interpretation and desires to mean that She IS in control. That has to be one very skilful lady!

And yes, it IS nice to see a more positive spin on this ...
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to MsLilac)

Post #: 4

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 7:25:43 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

From the Pro's I know...they're great. Just as people. They have a good understanding of how their client's minds work and take the time to get to know them to turn their kink "against" them. Making the sessions they have astounding.

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 5

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 7:27:51 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

Thanks MsC for the link. Wonderful article. Made me want to hop on a plane and go play.

What she does in her seminars is something I would love to do in So Ca. There are several women who would like to do this on the boards.

Empowering women, and fulfilling fantasies and kink. It all sounds like so much fun. I also was very pleased about what she said re: women over 35 being a minimal starting age. What older women have to offer in terms of experience, sterness, and wisdom is precious. Also, being a lover of men (and women for me) and respecting kink. There are so many fun and interesting kinks out there. So little time.... lol.

imo: a great pro-domme is very smart, clearly in control, and plays fair, is supportive of lifestyle dommes, and empowers good women every chance she gets.

Great thread idea. Wonderful to see the positive posted, compared to all the crap we have seen lately on the boards re: pro.

I have the utmost respect for great pro-dommes. They never get 'used' by subs. They give a lot. It takes a ton of energy to create scenes, gather up all that Goddess energy and direct it towards someone who needs her to fulfill those kinks.

It is a clean exchange. She pays a lot for the excellent dungeon, props, rent, advertising. Also, hundreds of hrs are spent getting those kinks figured out and going the extra mile. That's a great pro-domme. She spreads all that energy for that 'extra mile'.

The outfits, boots, equipment etc are all expensive. It reminds me of a Doctor, without the $100,000 spent on training of course, however she has all these high expenses, high demand on her time and energy. I think getting paid 200$ an hr is appropriate.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of women who call themselves 'pro' in the LA area. Most are young and inexperienced. Many are man-haters and very sadistic. Mistress J sets the bar on a Higher Road less traveled.

Thanks again for that link. Mistress J has a new fan in me.

Irish

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 6

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 8:30:27 AM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

Now for something different.....

In my home town, the professional dominatrices are the undisputed Queens of the sex industry

A session with a good pro-dom might only take an hour, but the thrill can last a life time.

For many of us, our most memorable, exhilarating and mind-blowing BDSM experiences of our lives were with a pro-dom, not amateurs.

So what distinguishes these Goddesses from all the wannabes? Why do their loyal clients happily pay $100s per hour? Again and again?

In my experience, the great pro-doms have:
a calm, stern "presence" (over the phone and in person),
unflappable grace under pressure,
appreciation for the bizarre,
look great for their age,
exude female sexual power

and most importantly....

are very, very smart.

It also helps if she really likes people, especially men, and treats unusual fetishes/kinks with respect.

What do you think makes a great professional dominatrix great (distinguishing her from the not-so-great).

Thanks!

In addition to your list...

That she has fun and thoroughly enjoys herself rather than just goes through the motions makes for a great pro.

< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 9/6/2007 8:38:33 AM >

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 7

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 11:08:17 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

For me it would be the following :

Someone who chats before hand to find out about my likes and experiences, but still decides what goes on during a session. i know many guys who pay want to do what they want to do, thats great but not for me. i want the unexpected, the suprises running from amused to fearful and back again. Someone who can read me instinctively and figure what buttons to press faster than i can work out whats going on. Someone who can switch pace in an instant either faster or slower, intense or calming. Someone who i feel safe with deep down, even if whats happening seems dangerous. Someone who is playful yet always in charge. Someone who will push me, yet have me so relaxed i go with the flow.Someone who helps me learn more about myself and the lifestyle, and will chat after and let me calm down a bit before having to leave.

Most importantly, someone who is enjoying Herself and not seeing me as just another client.

Great thread MsC and its nice to see You back on the boards.

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 8

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 11:37:52 AM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

Being really genuinely INTERESTED in people - what makes them tick - being curious, analytical, and having the drive to improve yourself - your skills, your delivery. The professionals I consider A level (and I didn't consider myself A level) are not necessarily D/s lifestylers, but flexible, gearheaded, specialists but willing to go outside specialty, and developing and refining the game.

Calm and stern? Optional.
Not always. Depends on your client. One of the greatest I know calls herself "the smiling Domme" in her films. That's what sets her apart, she just exudes JOY on film, and it's genuine and yet let out with calculation and intention. It sucks you in.

Looking great, sure, but the most memorable don't look like Ford models. Real, accessible good looks work better I think, actually. The less conventionally beautiful have to work harder to get 'em in the door and that says something about skills or charisma.

Either wealthy, connected, or supported in their infancy. Sorry, but it's true. I don't know anyone with a top notch facility who didn't get any kind of break or help, or make help happen FOR her. That's not necessarily a boyfriend or a white knight, it can be the magic of the right partnerships with other Dommes or a really shrewd real estate decision - for which all credit is due the pro.

And yes. Having fun. Finding the fun in the session and there always is - even sessions from hell have it in them NOT to be, even if the fun is knowing that you know more about what you're not willing to do again. But 99.999 percent of the time there was something to like and something to enjoy, because I love perverts and I am one.

I didn't get out because I hated it. I got out because the burnout was how much I put in because I loved it. I need to point that homeward FIRST.

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 9

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 12:46:38 PM

cbtok

Posts: 70
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

Someone who does not suffer from "Top Disease," which is an overinflated view of their position within the BDSM society in particular and general society generally. It is also generally characterized by a complete lack of a sense of humor about one's person. I tend to find heterosexual male tops to be most afflicted with this serious malady.

The best pros I have known have all had an interest in adding something into the community; contributing regularly to the commonweal either through taking up causes, holding classes, offering training and generally getting the word out that kink is not some kind of derangement. And these professionals are just that: They're professional. They run their businesses well, they are good "corporate neighbors," whether or not they have incorporated, and they give one a sense of safety in their presence and that includes safety from predatory business practices.

They also tend to not push their agenda ad infinitum.

Others in this thread have also highlighted personable greatness, the sense that life is good, that what they're doing is fun and that having a session with them encourages a re-booking.

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

Post #: 10

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 1:50:40 PM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

Loves Her 'work' and genuinly cares about the people she connects deeply with. has that intuitive ability, and makes people feel deeply at ease with her almost from the very first moment.

She is genuinly turned on by the fun, the connection, and the surprises she adds to a scene.

She has that big smile.........

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 9/6/2007 2:02:20 PM >

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 11

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 1:56:46 PM

LadyTantalize

Posts: 242
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

For me it would be the following :

Someone who chats before hand to find out about my likes and experiences, but still decides what goes on during a session. i know many guys who pay want to do what they want to do, thats great but not for me. i want the unexpected, the suprises running from amused to fearful and back again. Someone who can read me instinctively and figure what buttons to press faster than i can work out whats going on. Someone who can switch pace in an instant either faster or slower, intense or calming. Someone who i feel safe with deep down, even if whats happening seems dangerous. Someone who is playful yet always in charge. Someone who will push me, yet have me so relaxed i go with the flow.Someone who helps me learn more about myself and the lifestyle, and will chat after and let me calm down a bit before having to leave.

Most importantly, someone who is enjoying Herself and not seeing me as just another client.

Great thread MsC and its nice to see You back on the boards.

Fantastic description and certainly elements that I strive for in every session!

< Message edited by LadyTantalize -- 9/6/2007 1:57:58 PM >

_____________________________

Truly, Lady T.

Lady Tatiana Tantalize
Atlanta's Sadistic Southern Belle, Crossdressing Consultant, Punk-Rock Party Girl and Wicked SugarPuss
http://www.ladytantalize.net

"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages."
-Tennessee William

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 12

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 2:05:23 PM

LadyTantalize

Posts: 242
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline

I too am delighted to see a positive post about Professional Domination!!

So, my thoughts as to the characteristic of a good ProDomme:

1. Ethics & Integrity
2. Charisma, grace & charm
3. Determination & versatility
4. True natural dominance and/or a love of kink & fetishes
5. Intuition & individualized perception
6. Inventiveness & creativity
7. Compassion & empathy
8. Resourcefulness & resilience
9. A witty tongue & pure feminine wiles
10. A second job doesn't hurt!!!

< Message edited by LadyTantalize -- 9/6/2007 2:06:00 PM >

_____________________________

Truly, Lady T.

Lady Tatiana Tantalize
Atlanta's Sadistic Southern Belle, Crossdressing Consultant, Punk-Rock Party Girl and Wicked SugarPuss
http://www.ladytantalize.net

"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages."
-Tennessee William

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 13

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 8:16:59 PM

goddessAVA

Posts: 221
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline

MEEEEEEEEE I am Great, the Goddess tells you so! Seriously, this came up on max fisch and the consenses seemed to be ability to connect with the other person in an empathetic, not sympathetic way. There are so many great ones in phila-I feel lucky to play where the bar is so high.

_____________________________

Philadelphia's premier Enema Nurse
cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 14

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/6/2007 11:53:45 PM

Aimtoplease101

Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline

I think the Pro Dommes do an awful lot of good things for the community.

Their knowledge of techniques, toys, and safety is top notch, and they are usually great about sharing their knowledge.

They are non-judgmental-- they've seen it all and can appreciate almost every sort of kink.

Since they are service providers, they are flexible and creative in their adminstration of domination-- this allows a great deal of exploration and growth on the sub's part.

They are discrete and professional.

Regards, ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 15

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/7/2007 7:40:12 AM

MsSophie

Posts: 142
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: Stockholm, Sweden
Status: offline

What is a great pro-domme?
In my opinion; someone who realises that the day it feels like just a job it's time to quit...
Hell, that goes for any profession under the sun. The day you stop being passionate about what you do you stop being great at it!

_____________________________

My site: http://www.euro-kink.com

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 16

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/7/2007 9:12:55 AM

MissViolette

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

I am so delighted to see such a positive, appreciative conversation about Pro Dommes! Everyone has done such a wonderful job of pointing out what makes a great Pro Domme, I'm afraid there's hardly anything to add! It makes me want to check in over in the "ask a sub" message board to see if they need help talking about what makes a great client!

I'd like to add a note about both the financial aspect and the risk we take as public people. Many Pro Dommes do a LOT of education and work for their community every day, unpaid, because they care. It's *our* community, too, and we want those who count themselves as a part of it to prosper in their play lives. We also spend effort and hours education strangers about kink, talking to people who have a brother/partner/friend who is "into that kind of thing" and generally representing the BDSM world to the vanilla world as best we can. It does take a certain kind of person to put their face on the internet saying that they do what we do, and it's hard work being that person! We also pursue other careers and interests outside of kink- many of the Ladies who get criticized in boards like this for being "greedy" are actually doing one thing which pays them twice as much in half as much time in order to give the rest of their time to a non-profit, to volunteering, to teaching which pays nothing.

When I sit beside someone chatty on an airplane, I'm usually very open when they ask what I do. They probably have a highly stylized image of what a Domme looks like and I like to help them deconstruct that, explain that we're real people, explain that there ARE such things as Pro Dommes, and our clients are real, healthy, lovable people. Just like them. I wonder how I could ever sneak this PR campaign into conversations if I wasn't so out about my life!

-Miss Violette Thorngate

[MissVioletteThorngate.com]

(in reply to MsSophie)

Post #: 17

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/8/2007 8:24:04 AM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

What makes a great Pro- Domme?

Well a naturally Dominant Lady, that enjoys and uses this wonderful attribute to the best of her abilities. Not only in scene/sessions, but in her everyday life also.

By not having an alter-ego/persona, but by being true to herself a natural dominant woman, embracing all that are fortunate to share her time and life with.

Respecting and welcoming new ideas, skills, influences, sharing, caring and nurturing in an non-judgemental direction.

Embracing and enjoying all that this wonderful lifestyle involves, with a genuine passion for what she believes in and aspires to.

Ignoring the bigots, and rising above all the taunts and negativity that many perceive about Professional Domination.

Engulfing & absorbing, enjoying her submissive's/slave's/masochists, and involving herself in the wonderful unions of activities and practices that she enjoys and her selected also enjoy.

By having the fortunate opportunity of having a career that she enjoys, and genuinely has a passion for, not only for moneytary gain, but for the lifestyle also.

That's all folks

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to MissViolette)

Post #: 18

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/9/2007 8:56:51 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Mistress J and I started professional services within a year or so of each other here in New Zealand and I was immediately fascinated by her and her friend/mentor/professional companion at the time Mistress Margaret. Both incredible and credible women, alas we only got to meet briefly over the next few years. Jody had caused bit of a media uproar sometime before when as a university lecuturer her positive take on prostitution made headlines, after she had spent sometime researching the sex industry. It was during this research that she was introduced to the world of the professional Mistress and was totally captivated.

Jody, Margaret and myself, along with a number of other dominatrices, were interviewed in 2000 for a fly on the wall documentary look at the professional Mistress scene in NZ. Jody is the undisputed Queen of elegance and intelligence and for her fans and the ultimately curious, "Bound for Pleasure" is a must watch (www.davidblyth.com). Another shining star of the movie, is 'Mistress Sabrina Blaze', a decadent and daring image in latex and shoes.

Alas it was not long after this that Jody made her move to Australia. Am glad to hear MsC that she is as much a Queen of the Dungeon there as she was here :) one day I hope I can enjoy the company of you both when I make the trip across the Tasman.

And yes, her book is a delightful read, buying it the day it was released in NZ. As soon as I finished reading it immediately went to our local library and suggested it as a book the library should get ... am pleased to say they did :) yay ...and for my own self, whenever feeling a bit blah, I'll get out her book and get inspired to stay the course.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 19

RE: What makes a GREAT pro-domme? - 9/9/2007 9:17:11 AM

RaynaSub

Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

I agree it is wonderful to see a positive Pro-Dominant thread.
Pro-Domme bashing has become so boring.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> What makes a GREAT pro-domme?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109