Master has no balls....

Master has no balls.... (Full Version)

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fifi -> Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 6:21:29 AM)
Yeah it would be funny if it was a joke. But I'm sick and tired of being treated like a doormat. Yes I'm fiesty deal with it. I love being submissive, I love pleasing people (yes a general term, family, friends, lovers etc) I will do anything I can to make everyone elses live fun,easier, enjoyable. But I will not take being ignored for no reason, I will not take trying to talk to 'someone' who refuses to join in and just signs out. How do you work through problems when the other person just keeps on running away? And before all you masters out there jump down my throat, as far as I'm aware I'm not being punished. So I count this kind of behaviour as down right rude and disrespectful. Funny how if it was a submissive acting like this they would be punished, but when its a dom, a submissive has to take it as part of the kinky lifestyle. I'm sorry, NO! Manners and treatment of human beings does not stop just because your a Dom. God! if you can't tell already, I'm seriously angry. How do I get past this and communicate with this person, when they just continually shut down? I've explained how I felt in an email, in a nice, controlled, way. (Not like I am now-yeah I have anger issues I hear you bellow!) I do all that is asked of me, and get nothing in return, just empty promises. I have no problem doing these things either, but I draw the line when for the x's amounts of time I do everything that is asked of me, and what is promised in return never, ever materialises. Whats a girl to do with master like this?

mnottertail -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 6:23:43 AM)
move on to greener pastures?

LadyStray -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 6:31:28 AM)
fifi, It's hard to comment on anothers' relationship without knowing specific details. I totally agree with you that one should always remember first that any relationship, regardless of how it's titled, is between two people first. If your Master won't interact with you there are serious problems. If he is breaking promises then you need to look more closely at why you stay with him. If you can't count on your Masters' word then you've already lost one of the most basic premises of any relationship. In my world a man who can't be trusted is a man on his way out the door.

RRafe -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 6:33:42 AM)
Easy. Quit annoying him with the drama-works for me. quote: ORIGINAL: fifi Yeah it would be funny if it was a joke. But I'm sick and tired of being treated like a doormat. Yes I'm fiesty deal with it. I love being submissive, I love pleasing people (yes a general term, family, friends, lovers etc) I will do anything I can to make everyone elses live fun,easier, enjoyable. But I will not take being ignored for no reason, I will not take trying to talk to 'someone' who refuses to join in and just signs out. How do you work through problems when the other person just keeps on running away? And before all you masters out there jump down my throat, as far as I'm aware I'm not being punished. So I count this kind of behaviour as down right rude and disrespectful. Funny how if it was a submissive acting like this they would be punished, but when its a dom, a submissive has to take it as part of the kinky lifestyle. I'm sorry, NO! Manners and treatment of human beings does not stop just because your a Dom. God! if you can't tell already, I'm seriously angry. How do I get past this and communicate with this person, when they just continually shut down? I've explained how I felt in an email, in a nice, controlled, way. (Not like I am now-yeah I have anger issues I hear you bellow!) I do all that is asked of me, and get nothing in return, just empty promises. I have no problem doing these things either, but I draw the line when for the x's amounts of time I do everything that is asked of me, and what is promised in return never, ever materialises. Whats a girl to do with master like this?

HalloweenWhite -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 6:42:18 AM)
Walk away-why bother with someone who can't be bothered with you?.

Stephann -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 7:01:43 AM)
If your cyber relationship is so frustrating, what on earth makes you think it'll pan out well in reality? Why are you wasting the emotions on someone who clearly doesn't want them? Stephan

mnottertail -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 7:05:05 AM)
If someone posts something so rude and disdainful about her man out here, and entire profile says Matt has no balls, don't look like it is worth carrying on anything........... She plain needs to move along, or needs an asswhipping the likes of which the world has never seen, one or the other. Ron

RRafe -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 7:07:43 AM)
And she wonders why he avoids her? quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail If someone posts something so rude and disdainful about her man out here, and entire profile says Matt has no balls, don't look like it is worth carrying on anything........... She plain needs to move along, or needs an asswhipping the likes of which the world has never seen, one or the other. Ron

Celeste43 -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 7:25:34 AM)
Feel better after the rant? Hope so, sometimes we all need a safe time and place to vent. Basically his actions show you that he has no intention of changing. You need to decide if there is enough good in the relationship to counterbalance the bad or not. A choice only you can make. And next time, take more time to look before you leap. You want to identify problems before you commit when it's less painful to move on.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 7:25:52 AM)
Has he always been like this? Or only when things get "high strung"? If they aren't working with you, then you have to decide if you want this in your life or not.

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 7:28:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann If your cyber relationship is so frustrating, what on earth makes you think it'll pan out well in reality? Why are you wasting the emotions on someone who clearly doesn't want them? This is a cyber thing? Mind you it takes two to tango. And there seems to be an opportunity for self reflection here.

Stephann -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 7:36:59 AM)
Ron, Quite right. Sunshine, "sign out" and "email" are the banners of "cyber relationship." If I was having a heated discussion with a woman I am dating real life on messenger, I'd wait until I could talk on the phone or in person to deal with it. Stephan

fifi -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 7:57:35 AM)
Thank you all for replying. I do see where everyone is coming from. Some of this is frustration and needing somewhere to rant, its not the sort of thing you can talk to with vanilla girlfriends. Part of me feels I deserved a good ass whipping (Ron)! UltimatelyI feel hurt, confused and angry! Yes it is cyber at the moment, maybe that is why it is easier for him to walk away. I did/do have every intention to meet him for real, when I felt it was right, and I felt that I could trust him, and he could trust me. We both have to be ready for that next step. Another reason as to why it is cyber at the moment is because we live so far apart. At the moment, in my eyes, the whole cyber situation is the base to the relationship, its building trust, getting to know one and other, its learning about each other etc. Although at the moment it doesn't feel like this. What a lot of the posts here have been about is whether a dom is real or fake? For a submissive its a very hard road to travel, alot of us fall into the wrong hands, which can be painful and mess with our heads. If your a newbie sometimes your easy prey. I'm commited to making this work, although some may disagree. When you find someone you like, not just as a dom, but as a vanilla person also, its hard to give up so easily. But being left confused, ignored, and hurt doesn't make a great start to things. With him not communciating me, or guiding me as to whether what I've done is right or wrong, how else do I get an answer to my question? How else do we learn from this and move on? Am I not to speak up when I feel things are not going right?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 8:00:09 AM)
The "hard road to travel" line is a total copout. EVERYONE has a hard road to travel. You are only easy prey if you choose to be and I'd say MAYBE 5% of what subs get into can be described as "falling into the wrong hands." 95% of the time, the sub leaps headlong and joyously into it.

Stephann -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 8:06:28 AM)
Hi fifi, The reason cyber is an issue here, is that you can't submit through a computer. Others will disagree with me, but the fact is submission through cyber is like trying to share a meal through cyber. You can tell him what it tastes like, what color it is, what flavors are there, what seasonings you have...but you simply can't share a meal through the computer. Cyber submission may seem like you're obeying him, but in reality it's submitting to the fantasy of what he might be like. That there's a great distance, means you're going to have to decide if you're willing to make the risk of having a fantasy work or not. Take it from someone who's packed up and moved overseas twice in his life, to live for more than 2 years each time; it's VERY hard. Bringing cross cultural relationships into the mix, and it gets even harder. Food for thought. Good luck, Stephan

toservez -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 8:12:18 AM)
Being treated like a doormat, not being listened to or being ignored have nothing to do with a power exchange relationship and is an issue of a good old regular relationship and goes to compatibility and the character of the two people in the relationship. Sure a whipping would help but all that would signify is getting attention and is merely treating the symptom and not the problem. I cannot tell you if this is a sign of incompatibility and to cut your losses or if you ever go real time that this issue will not be the same, better or worse but rules, rituals, discipline and punishment do not sound like the solution to the problem from your rant. It sounds like two people in two different places in the relationship that cyber seems to bring out often.

fifi -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 8:13:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe Easy. Quit annoying him with the drama-works for me. What is drama to your eyes, is someone elses pain! Why should I quit annoying him with the drama, he has ignored me for a week. I'm not being punished, I've not done anything wrong. So I have every right to know why? Do I not. I cannot believe you said this, all relationships need communication and understanding, or else we are going to get no where. If I cannot speak when I feel something is wrong, or something is jepordasising the relationship, then I see that as a personal failure. Am I to leave it, so it gets worse, and builds up, before I speak out, only to be told, "Why didn't you say something sooner." To be called Sir, commands respect and authority, well when I don't feel those things towards him, then he doesn't deserve to be called Sir. Its a bit ironic is it not, when a sub is treated like this but still has to call him Sir, why? what reason is there for me to call him Sir? Its not all Yes Sir, three bags full! As much as if I did something wrong, then I wouldn't desereve to be called his slave. I'm assuming you see this as disrespectful, maybe it is, maybe I'm different! All I know is I'm not a doormat to be used and abused, I agree to be, which gives me some control in a relationship. I'm fiesty, so be it. I'd rather I was fiesty than some doormat. So in answer to your question Ron, you'd rather I was a doormat, who should be treated this way, used and abused, with no voice or control in a relationship with a man who deserves to be respected and called Sir at all times, who has ever right to ignore me, treat me this way, not communicate, or respect me! hhhmmmm great, didn't realised I signed upto to being a victim!

fifi -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 8:24:44 AM)
I'm not seeking his attention to get a whipping! I'm trying to explain to him how I'm feeling when he treats me this way, if I was being punished then I would understand and could accept it. What your failing to see is someone who is being treated badly for doing nothing wrong. That is just plain wrong, and mess with someones head and emotions. I'm sorry, but being ignored is to some part of a power exchange, some use it as punishment, there are many posts on here about how it drives a sub/slave insane. A whipping wouldn't even treat the problem, why do I deserve to be punished with a whipping? how is this possibly going to help. What is happening is the communication is breaking down, I'm going out of my way to do all that I can to please, and when it is to be rewarded it never materialises. I'm not here to be some kind of pain slut, who wants pain and punishment all the time. I'm only motivated by hearing what I'm doing is right or wrong, by being guided and having things explained to me. (He is aware of this as I'm a newbie, I said I need someone to teach me!) When I've done well and I'm promised a reward, is it not fair and right for me to expect it at some stage? I think we are in two different places, but there is only one way to solve it and that is to talk it through. I've explained how I've felt, and probably in doing so rocked the whole relationship, because subs are supposed to put up and shut up in some dom's eyes. I'm not a mind reader to know what is going on inside his head.

camille65 -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 8:32:34 AM)
fifi I am sorry you're having such a rough time with communicating. If he won't respond to your emails or attempts to talk through IM then I honestly don't know what to say except that he is obviously not concerned with how you feel. You can only try so many times before you wear down & it sounds like you are pretty close to the end. Ask yourself if he is really making you happy or do you think someone else could fit with you better and go from there. If you think this guy is really it then keep trying. Otherwise you may need to take a hard look at things and make a decision based upon what you need.

fifi -> RE: Master has no balls.... (9/6/2007 8:34:38 AM)
A total copout is saying that falling into the wrong hands is only a 5% chance. You only have to look on this forum to see the number of people who are writing is this dom/sub real or fake. When your a newbie, you have no experience or knowledge to back up what your going through, finding someone to trust can be hard, and sometimes you can be easily twisted and manipulated into a dom's way of thinking, some have fallen into the wrong hands, its a sweeping statement to think it doesn't happen! How many times have you been disappointed to read, a fake dom has upset a geninue sub? and the other way around! Yes the majority do go jumping along happily with their dom, and I'm really pleased for them. I have done so with my dom also, until now. Here I am as a newbie with no experience or knowledge of what to do and how, and I'm struggling, so I turn to the forum to learn and understand what others with the experience/knowledge have to say. Granted everyone has had a hard road to travel, some more or less than others. How can you judge my road that I have travelled as a copout? when you don't even know me. I have not judged your road, or that of anyone elses. You do not know what I have experienced or been through, and I personally find your statement as down right insulting.

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