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SusanofO -> RE: Personal: Advice, Opinions or Whatever ... (9/6/2007 1:43:34 PM)
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Dear caitlyn: Maybe he wants to see you with another girl, but fears you are not the type of gal who would consent to this? - and this is his way of having that, without forcing either of you to have a discussion about a "three-some"?
Maybe he figures almost naked females are so beautiful, how could they be offensive to anyone?
Maybe he thinks it gets you hot, and he wants to jump your bones later in the evening?
Maybe he is just selfishly pursuing his own interests on a date, without any concern for what you want or think, as far as visiting Strip clubs go?
Maybe he figures he's treated you so well the rest of the evening, it shouldn't bother you he wants this? (if so, I think that is possibly presumptious on his part, but that is only my opinion).
Could be any of these reasons, IMO.
If it bothers you, or if you're simply just curious why he is doing it, I'd just ask him (in a non-threatening tone of voice) why he takes you to his Strip clubs. Tell him you're not mad, you just are curious why he does it. See what he says. And-Or -
**If you don't want to go to the Strip club at the end of every single date (or if you've just had your fill of it), suggest to him that you both expand your end-of-date-repertoire by doing something else - preferably something that would be equally intriguing to him, just completely different (you be the judge here).
**Or if you are bored or sick of it at this point - just maybe say you've enjoyed the Strip club, but now that it's "been done" you'd prefer to move on to something else at the end of the evening - and I'd have an alternative suggestion in mind, or he might make one you might not particularly appreciate. Not that you couldn't agree to whatever it is, but you get my drift here.
And then I'd just see how it goes.
If he refuses to talk about it, or gets ticked you asked - then write back, and we'll deal with that then (*or suggest to him that you both visit Chippendales, where the men strip for the ladies, instead)[:)][:D]
But IMO, it's possible, men being the dim bunnies they can sometimes be (sorry guys) that he has no idea this could possibly be a weird situation for any of his dates. It's possible someone needs to hit him over the head with a (soft) hammer (figuratively speaking) to get him to realize this is even a possibility.
Because if it was me, it's not the Strip club, per se, that woud bother me - it's the idea that there are all these other possibly gorgeous females around, I'd be comparing my own stuff with - and me thinking he's doing the same thing - know what I mean? (and I am not bragging, but I am pretty happpy with the way my body looks, and it would still bother me a little if it was a constant thing he wanted to do with me (but - if he wasn't with me when he went there, it would not bother me much if he went there without me) - and I don't consider myself a prude, or particularly insecure.
But I don't know him, so I can only guess at his motives.
I don't think there is anything wrong with his wanting to go there - but - after every single date? I think it might be time to try something else, instead, just in the name of variety. But maybe it's just me...
Good luck caitlyn. Please let us know how it works out.
- Susan
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