RE: not allowed to love Him what do I do?

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RE: not allowed to love Him what do I do? - 3/25/2009 12:36:09 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: punnishme

Yes that's right I'm not allowed to love my Master.

Ow right I didn't say nuffin! LOL

GoddezzT`

< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 3/25/2009 12:38:59 AM >

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RE: not allowed to love Him what do I do? - 3/25/2009 8:24:15 AM

cantilena

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Joined: 8/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: blacklily

quote:

ORIGINAL: cantilena

quote:

ORIGINAL: blacklily

sorry to unearth an old thread. I have met a man that has proposed a d/s relationship to me. We have insane chemistry, many common sexual interests and desires, are both young, healthy and attractive... I long to serve and he longs to dominate. The arrangement will not be 24/7 due to my obligations to work and taking care of my two sons and his external obligations (which drive the nail in the coffin) - these two factors keep me from moving forward: He is married... he is NOT emotionally available.

I agree that this is a recipe for failure, but I automatically want to please this man... follow behind him like the good little girl I am. This is purely natural between our desires, personalities etc. He approached me at work on day... and here I am.

I have been up all night trying to come to a final decision about this man. There is a proposed session of play this Wednesday after a few days of sporadic play that led up to a nice little chocking/gagging session in the men's bathroom (his first test of my will)..... but I am torn.

I think you know the answer to your questions. What's keeping you up at night is that you don't like those answers.

agreed cantilena. I feel that I have arrived home. Your insights are such a striking, yet warm welcome to reality.

Light~

:) Maybe a warm welcome to reality, but certainly not a warm one to the forums.

For that... Welcome! I hope you continue on here with us, and I wish you the best of luck.

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RE: not allowed to love Him what do I do? - 3/25/2009 8:34:13 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
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im really not sure how youre going to not love someone you feel so deeply for - im not sure how you can stop loving someone unless they do something horrible and not even then sometimes...,

neither do i see the problem in you loving him. him not loving you, ok - thats a fairly common theme for various reasons, but why cant you allow youre emotions to run and feel the way they naturally want to go. have you asked him.

another way to go is to just put all of youre emotions under the title 'enslaved' and go from there. being a loyal, devoted, adoring slave is surely something he would permit.

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RE: not allowed to love Him what do I do? - 3/25/2009 10:29:01 AM

corsetgirl

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It really sucks when you care and love someone who does not have the same feelings for you. Why invest so much time with this person when you know this is going to cause you misery? A relationship should not have to hurt.

I would end it, give yourself time to heal, which may take a long time to do so but this will allow you to be a stronger person and you will get to know what you want and look at areas of compatbility.

Later, you will feel this was the best thing for you to do but right now, you are not feeling this at all.

Take care of yourself and I wish you well.

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RE: not allowed to love Him what do I do? - 3/25/2009 10:44:29 AM

Angelsmile

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quote:

ORIGINAL: corsetgirl

It really sucks when you care and love someone who does not have the same feelings for you. Why invest so much time with this person when you know this is going to cause you misery? A relationship should not have to hurt.

Very true and that can make you suffer a lot when feelings cannot be returned because He is married. This is extremely unsatisfactory. And the more often you have contact with Him and the more you share with Him the deeper your feelings will grow with the time when the dynamics set in, then the harder it will get to stop loving Him if not to say impossible. Even if you did not love a person before that much automatically with D/s sessions Y/you will get closer and closer and it will make inevitably grow Y/your feelings. D/s without feelings involved will never be D/s. It would be better if His wife knew it and agreed upon it and is not jeallous, then you both could love Him without getting things mixed up. However you will never have Him as your husband and there ask yourself if that is what you want.

< Message edited by Angelsmile -- 3/25/2009 10:47:33 AM >

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RE: not allowed to love Him what do I do? - 3/25/2009 2:42:04 PM

marysdream

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well if this the definition of a slave?..a relationship based on no love or emotion...hmmm i am glad i am a sub...this is so unhealthy...no wonder others think we are crazy!
ree!

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RE: not allowed to love Him what do I do? - 3/25/2009 4:02:03 PM

DavanKael

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It's pretty amazing when someone flips out at the thought of being loved or some other form of commitment. I;m a commitmentkind of girl, so such things tend to track to me as if the person's speaking another language or is perhaps from another planet.
You can't control the emotions that you have but you can control what you do with them. I understand loving someone. I respect your willingness to make that statement. I am concerned that you're with someone who is so dogmatic about not loving you back but who is taking such precedence in your life as to allow you to focus only on them and not grow to love another. Rather mixed messages which I hate and think are obscenely unfair. That being said, try to have a conversation or several. Figure out what your line in the sand is. Love can be grand but it can be a killing albatross as well. Figure out what your limit is, what is good for you (And if you can't, get professional help), and if you can't come to some level of understanding and mutuality, love or no, loving yourself more is, imo more important. There is more than one person out there that can be a potential love.
Best wishes,
Davan

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RE: not allowed to love Him what do I do? - 3/26/2009 1:52:09 PM

akisha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: blacklily

LOL Akisha... I guess your rant applies to me too. Thank you so much for the reality whipping, I really needed it. I know what my true desires are and it isn't to be a toy without being loved. I do believe our talks at least brought the "submissive" me out in the open with the ability to share my darkest thoughts just by a deep dark look or a very stern prompting. It was intriguing while it lasted, but I agree that he is more into risky play and behavior that can either get me fired - or killed in the process (not enough trust built between us).

I will keep myself open for a Dom to find me and I hope to have a wonderful outcome someday. Until then, I will use this board for questions and answers and revel in your support.

Blacklily

Well I'm glad you got something good out of it. It wasn't meant as a rant more as a reality check.

People tell themselves all kinds of stories to make themselves feel better about the things they do that they know deep down inside are foolish.

I hope you find the person that you deserve, that will give you what you desire in a relationship.

Biggest rule... Never settle for table scraps, you deserve to eat at the buffet with everyone else.

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