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RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 5:34:14 PM

jaxnsax

Posts: 106
Status: offline

Greetings umisprite
When my ex Master informed me that I would have to apply and petition for a position as his slave, I too, at first thought the idea ludicrous. I enjoyed my talks with him though, and respected him a great deal; for this reason, I agreed to the more formal process.
I can honestly say that it was the best decision that I ever made. Not only did the application and petition bind him from trying new things with me before discussion; it also allowed me the chance to actually see my growth over time. After our first year together, when I renewed my petition, I looked over the first that had been done and was astounded at how far I had come. It was quite enlightening.
I admit, I don’t need to have such a formal process, and I would welcome a relationship that did not employ such; however, I would not turn from one who followed such protocols.
I wish you good humor and health
jaxon

(in reply to umisprite)

Post #: 21

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 5:51:58 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

3. Slows down the process so that both parties have time to think and negotiate using their big brains not their little ones.

you mean this whole website isn't just about getting laid?

sssssssssshhhhhh... don't spoil it......... This website is all about getting laid... but keep that quiet... these common sense and rational people are rather deluding to this fact... and we wankers like it that way.... if the common sense and rational realized this alll about getting laid... well then they would change their bait and starting fishing to get laid... and THEN... us wankers wouldn't stand a chance to getting laid if thos common sense and rational people start looking around here to get laid.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 9/7/2007 5:52:39 PM >

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 22

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 6:01:08 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I'm sorry, so much of it is bullshit...They want the subbie to fill out a questionaire...Much of it is wanking material. So much of this crud seems fit for those who never developed interpersonal skills...To busy reading science fiction, romance novels or getting lost in eras long gone. Dumb sub fills out an application...The exchange is extremely clinical...Christ, so many out here would hate to have to rely on their ability to have a meaningful conversation. It would expose and reveal the weaknesses that they can tuck away beneath all the protocol and Domly bullshit.

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Post #: 23

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 6:06:51 PM

umisprite

Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline

Thanks Jaxon. I am not one for formality either but if it is going to enrich the journey I'd probably give it a try.

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Post #: 24

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 6:12:12 PM

umisprite

Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline

Thanks domiguy. I'm trying to be openminded regarding a concept I was unclear about and you make me feel like a jerk in a matter of seconds.

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Post #: 25

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 6:14:16 PM

jaxnsax

Posts: 106
Status: offline

Greetings domiguy
I disagree. There was nothing clinical about my application process at all. It was very involved, at times emotional, and very personal. Of course, I had been meeting with and talking to the Master involved for over a month before we got this far.
Just because it is not something that you can agree on, or utilize; does not mean that it makes the rest of us too lazy to try and ‘get to know a person’ or develop interpersonal skills.
I wish you humor and health on this day
jaxon

PS
just for reference, the application and petition that I submitted was in no way similiar to the list that is floating around on the internet.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 26

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 6:16:14 PM

HypnoticDan

Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

Sorry, OP, but I need clarification: is this application being requested IRL or whilst chatting online? I picture one having a very different reaction than the other.

(in reply to umisprite)

Post #: 27

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 6:20:59 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

To each their own...I hit the fast response..Not directed at anyone in particular ...Just my views on a subject. IT might be an effective tool for long distance relationships....If you live close where face to face conversations can take place it seems to suggest a weakness on the Doms side not to be able to simply discuss all areas of importance...I guess if I had everything in writing it might be nice to be able to shove it back in her face when it has become apparent that she is not living up to something that she agreed to in writing....Either way I view it as unnecessary tool used by those who do not have the ability or time to actually be able to carry on a meaningful conversation.

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Post #: 28

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 6:36:32 PM

umisprite

Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
To each their own...I hit the fast response..Not directed at anyone in particular

's okay, I'm not easily offended anyway.

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My mistakes are neither pretty nor little.

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Post #: 29

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 6:55:03 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouspet55

I am just curious, how many Dom/mes out there use an application process, how is your process set up, and why do you choose to use it?

The very first dominant I ever spoke with (in a research capacity... not as a prospective partner), I found through a formal advertisement he had placed with an online BDSM magazine. He used to have a profile here and on several other BDSM sites, but it appears that he has recently deleted them, as well as deactivating his website devoted to finding a slave.

He had a very elaborate process outlined and remnants of his application process can be found cached here. This might give you an idea.

I know that he had been looking for a few years at least; I originally spoke with him in 2005 and when I talked with him again fairly recently, he had still had no success. Perhaps he finally found what he was looking for.

Correction... I only thought I'd spoken with him fairly recently; it turns out it was a year ago. Time does fly when you're having fun.

< Message edited by TreasureKY -- 9/7/2007 7:18:02 PM >

(in reply to curiouspet55)

Post #: 30

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 7:02:40 PM

Shadowen

Posts: 34
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline

See, I'm not one for formality and protocol, but a 'petition' just seems to me to be a big ego stroke type of thing. The lowly slave coming before the great and all powerful Oz in hopes that the magnificent one will deign to notice their prescence and gift them with his awesome countenance.

That being said, the only place I have ever heard of that being even a semi common occurrance is in the Gay Leather circles, who tend to be very high on protocol and all that sort of thing anyways.

I personally have no use for applications, the dom/sub checklist things that you find floating around on the net. Just seem silly to me. But hey, whatever works I suppose. I don't use them so could pretty much actually care less if you fill em out, bronze em and frame em. Aint bothering me none.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 31

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 9:11:35 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

I agree with Domiguy, about those guys who hide behind protocols and ritual. Never worked for me when I tried them in my newbie days. It's kinda hard to put a person down on a piece of paper-or in a file. I just do it the old fashoned way now.

(in reply to Shadowen)

Post #: 32

RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 11:42:59 PM

curiouspet55

Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I'm not sure how much I should reveal about my particular experience with this thus far, but mine hasn't been a petition really. I've been talking with the individual since April, when we both are online, and we've become quite close friends. We were discussing the potential for more, and he has a process, the first step being an application. There were questions such as "what qualities do you think make you a good submissive" and "what are your thoughts on ...." We are not in person, so this is a way to logically explain my thoughts. It was a way for him to know I'm serious about moving beyond friendship - I had to ask to apply. The application sparked some questions in me, but we discussed those questions, and we've discussed his questions since then. It's not been impersonal at all, and is probably more work than if we had im'ed it all out.

I'm surprised more people don't have experience in this area, even if through a journal type of situation.

cp55

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Post #: 33

RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 1:20:26 AM

Dharkeclipse

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/7/2007
Status: offline

They are just pieces of paper with no legal holding if one were to break the "contract". Some Doms/Dommes use them because they think it will legally hold the sub/slave to the agreement when in all actuallity 47 of the 50 states it won't hold up in a court of law. I know because I had a friend who was ignorant enough to think she could hold her slave to the contract of 5 years until he decided he wanted out, she tried taking him to court about it and the law explained to her that it would not hold up.
To me I don't need a contract because if the sub/slave really wants the relationship they will show it in their actions at all times. I guess for some its a reassurance that they "owen" whom ever it is but not the satisfaction that they are willing to serve without a piece of paper telling them they have to serve.

(in reply to curiouspet55)

Post #: 34

RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 1:24:58 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

My "application process" is if you don't get on my nerves in a short amount of time, I'll consider you!! Contracts are, in my opinion, for the theatrical and dramatic types and really, absolute crap.

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Post #: 35

RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 4:57:32 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

I much prefer the oral exam.

but seriously, if someone wants someone to apply with intent to 'prove' their future devotion, respect, love, etc..is their choice, but it almost seems like an expectation is to be met before you even know if you like the person. I wouldn't call it a lazy Dom-syndrome, I'd call it more of a arrogance-action. Doubt I would use that method to find my ONE, not that it is too much work, it is just too impersonal.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 36

RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 5:01:49 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

of you have a limited scope of experience

Do I ? Wanna mentor Me then?.

< Message edited by HalloweenWhite -- 9/8/2007 5:02:21 AM >

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 37

RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 5:49:57 AM

jaxnsax

Posts: 106
Status: offline

I find it interesting that so many find such a formal approach to be impersonal or clinical. An application process can be done in many ways.
I met my ex Master at a club, actually played publicly with him several times before approaching HIM with the possibility of becoming something more permanent. His response to me was that I had to submit an application. I actually thought he was kidding and laughed. When I questioned him further about it, he explained to me that he wanted me to write down exactly WHY I wanted to become his property, what I expected to get from the experience, and what I could offer to him. It took me about a month to come to a decision and write out the application. When I presented it to him, he sat me down and we went over every word that I had written. He asked me why I thought a certain way in regards to some things, asked me to clarify some others. I went back and rewrote the application again, and represented it to him.
Once again, we sat down and went over every word that I had written. He then presented me with HIS expectations, what he expected my duties would be. Needless to say, his was much more detailed and harsh than what mine had been.
Never were limits discussed at this point; I was never presented with a ‘questionnaire’ of what I was willing and unwilling to do ( and yes, I have seen those idiotic pieces of paper that so many rely on ).
It took us almost 3 months of negotiations back and forth before he felt that I was fully aware of what would be expected of me and if I was able to commit to such a life. In this time, my application was rewritten almost 7 times before I felt comfortable with the final result and then petitioned for the actual position.
I can understand the attitude that many have in regards to such formal procedures; I do not however understand the thought that because one follows such protocols that they are lazy or unwilling to invest themselves in learning about the other person.
I guess it really comes down to nothing more than what works for each person.
I wish you good humor and good health
jaxon

(in reply to Shadowen)

Post #: 38

RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 7:16:52 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I like to have conversations in person...I don't need a checklist to keep me focused on the important points of a conversation. I am also wise enough to realize that what you might feel about a particular subject today (day 1) might change dramatically by day 342. We evolve and our views do change. So once again, the application holds little merit as to what can actually be expected from someone as we progress into the future.

Maybe it's time to play the age or experience card....I would much rather play the race card but it isn't germane to this conversation.

Anywhooooo, I feel it is nothing more than a bunch of shit...I read your profile, if you were "hot enough" and you told him that you were not willing to complete the application but would favor to have conversations "face to face" to discuss what was "expected," I wonder if he would have changed his tune?

Either way, the application process is just another meaningless protocol that someone read or heard about and they feel it allows them to control a situation by utilizing a piece of paper with questions that they probably didn't even develop themselves. The whole thing is rather sad.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 9/8/2007 7:18:21 AM >

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Post #: 39

RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 7:41:09 AM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouspet55

Until recently, I had never really pondered the concept of applying to be someone's sub/slave. Someone introduced the topic the other day, and now it seems I keep hearing of it everywhere I look.

I am just curious, how many Dom/mes out there use an application process, how is your process set up, and why do you choose to use it?

thanks,
cp55

You didn't mention the requisite blood test, at least three referrals, detailed medical and financial background checks and the ever popular “subs r’ us” quiz. I think this is supposed to be a relationship, not a job interview. Red flag anyone?

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(in reply to curiouspet55)

Post #: 40

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