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RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 9:02:17 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Sighs.....I generally have enough mental acuity to refference what a person's make up is-without having to take written notes. The only real expectation I have is eventual transparency-once they know I care enough to be trusted not to betray it.

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 10:05:44 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

of you have a limited scope of experience


Do I ? Wanna mentor Me then?.


do i have something you want? and i don't mean physical...are you willing to learn? be honest and open-minded? sure, cotact me on the otherside...we'll talk...
if you were being sarcastic (i can't tell, this is text...) i don't know...maybe i have a limited scope of experience in that i have met a few people that do use applications...i am open minded enough to accept that possibility...

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 10:14:05 AM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		No doubt there is nothing like face to face conversation in getting to know a person. The eye contact, the body language, the actual showing up all tell a lot more about a person’s character than words on a piece of paper. I crave the one on one contact in both new and established relationships. Sitting in a room or walking on the boardwalk together (if it’s possible) talking about whatever, that is how you get to know someone. There is nothing like personal interaction to see into a person. 
 
I can see the benefit, however, of a more structured list of potential discussion starters. I assume that no one is suggesting such an application or questionnaire is the be all and end all to determine the potential success or failure of a relationship. But couldn’t it be useful as a jumping off point for some conversations?

_____________________________

My mistakes are neither pretty nor little.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 10:18:34 AM   
jaxnsax


Posts: 106
Status: offline
I think it does have benefits in some areas. I was and am very young yet; there are many areas that I have yet to have ventured into and at the time that I met my ex Master, I was just barely starting. I asked him at a later date why he always insisted on an application and petition process and was shocked and a bit insulted when he told me that he rarely requires one. He did with me because of my age and because of the pre-conceived ideas that I had regarding personal slavery. For us, at that time, it was the right step to take.
I hope the day brings you good humor and health
jaxon

(in reply to umisprite)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 10:18:52 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ehlovindom

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouspet55

Until recently, I had never really pondered the concept of applying to be someone's sub/slave. Someone introduced the topic the other day, and now it seems I keep hearing of it everywhere I look.

I am just curious, how many Dom/mes out there use an application process, how is your process set up, and why do you choose to use it?

thanks,
cp55

You didn't mention the requisite blood test, at least three referrals, detailed medical and financial background checks and the ever popular “subs r’ us” quiz.   I think this is supposed to be a relationship, not a job interview. Red flag anyone?



nope...

blood test - hiv and hep c test, among other std and blood transmitted diseases - yep, check, required

at least three referrals - not from you, but i, or someone i trust will ask around in the community about you - yep, check, required

detailed medical background - umm duh, shouldn't each partner know about medical backgrounds...especially a Top about a bottom's (i use those terms because of the play references not the orientation) - yep, check, required

detailed financial background - if i am getting into a long term committed relationship, i want to know what my partners fincial state is, if they have had a banckruptcy in the past, it makes a difference - yep, check, required

the "subs r us" quiz?? i can only assume you mean the activities check list...its a get to know you kind of thing that i have used in all my power exchange relationships, filled out once, looked at once, and never looked at again...its a quick, get the whole picture kind of thing...doesn't leave room for the why didn't you tell me 10 years ago that you've always wanted x y and z...but...i can take it or leave it...still not a red flag...

from what i have seen the application process is not the beginning of a relationship...it is the formalization of the power exchange...

i have noticed that once we discover this lifestyle we try to fit everything into a box of power exchange, especially within our own relationships but even with other people we can clearly recognize are vanilla...and i can try and save ya'll from ya'lls headaches by saying STOP! just don't assume...but pain will be your educator...

take care...
chelle

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 3:21:52 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Absolutely nothing in the petition process precludes talking face to face.
In fact when I recieve a petition I read it and then set a time for us to sit down and discuss the petition.
Who in the hell told anyone that the petition was THE ONLY negotiation that was taking place, certainly none of the folks here who have used them. So where is the idea that they are somehow stand alone things comming from??? My best guess is from the inactive imaginations of the detractors.

The short explination of the process for me is:
Someone see's I expect a petition, obviously they don't know what I expect in one so they ask
I talk to them a little bit and direct them as to how my petition process works and what goes into one.
We talk some more to see if there is any spark.
We talk a little more to see if the bare minimum compatability is there
We talk even more as they are putting the petition together
I recieve the petition and review it and set an time for us to sit down and talk about it.
We talk about what's in the petition (About 130 or so questions some simple answer some essay mostly designed to draw out answers about what they need, want, expect, and what they have to offer  and what their history is like) Discussing the petition can take multiple days sometimes even a month.
Any gaps or clarifications get filled in at this point
Then and only then the possibility of a contract is broached.

Yes it is a bit like a job interview, but one that takes months rather than an hour or two.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 4:07:40 PM   
jaxnsax


Posts: 106
Status: offline
Greetings domiguy
I am very confused as to where I ever said that during my application process that I said I never met face to face with him? Could you please point out where in my discussion I said such a thing?
As for your comment “if I was hot enough”…I found that to be beneath contempt. However, if this is your thought process; then all I can do is feel sympathy for you.
I wish you good humor and health
jaxon

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Applications - 9/8/2007 11:47:25 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Sighs.....I generally have enough mental acuity to refference what a person's make up is-without having to take written notes.


whoah

that is way better than 'I generally have enough acuity than referencing how mental a person's makeup is'.

<fixes her lipstick

(in reply to jaxnsax)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Applications - 9/9/2007 4:31:35 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I like to have conversations in person...I don't need a checklist to keep me focused on the important points of a conversation.


It seems stilted and too much like a job interview, to do an application or petition.  Perhaps these are more useful for dominants who are talking to a lot of subs and have difficulty remembering who has said what.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Applications - 9/9/2007 7:43:45 AM   
ehlovindom


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty



the "subs r us" quiz?? i can only assume you mean the activities check list...its a get to know you kind of thing that i have used in all my power exchange relationships, filled out once, looked at once, and never looked at again...its a quick, get the whole picture kind of thing...doesn't leave room for the why didn't you tell me 10 years ago that you've always wanted x y and z...but...i can take it or leave it...still not a red flag...

take care...
chelle



Um no, that quiz was strictly with rongue planted firmly in cheek.


_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Applications - 9/9/2007 9:40:22 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		oh ok...well in that case...can you please tell me what your blood type is and if you are a registered organ donor...i am taking a survey...yea...thats what we will go with....

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Applications - 9/9/2007 9:43:38 AM   
RaynaSub


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		My Master did not ask me to fill out an application, but he did have
ask me a lot of questions, and allowed me to ask him a lot of questions.
This process worked for us.

(in reply to curiouspet55)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Applications - 9/9/2007 10:07:14 AM   
sapphirepleasure


Posts: 411
Joined: 4/27/2006
From: Land of Enchantment
Status: offline 		Have you ever chatted with someone and gotten the feeling that they are going through a checklist of questions?  To me that's also very offputting.

(in reply to RaynaSub)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Applications - 9/9/2007 10:10:19 AM   
RaynaSub


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		Sapphirepleasure? My Master and I both had a checklist of questions.
I would not want a Master that did not ask me questions!
I am not sure which one of us had the longer checklist!

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)
Profile   Post #: 54
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