RE: Jumping to conclusions !!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Jumping to conclusions !!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Jumping to conclusions !!

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 7:50:06 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I've been pondering this for quite a while now. I spend a lot of time reading the boards here (i really need to get a life i know) and am always slightly concerned / amazed at the amount of times i see people jump to conclusions (myself included).
I can only speak for myself here but sometimes when i make a post / create a thread i only give very limited information regarding myself on the topic i am posting on. This is usually for a few reasons, maybe i dont have permission to give details, maybe im looking for a general reply not specific to me, or maybe just sometimes i want to keep the personal details, personal!
Take for example my recent thread on being hired out. Many conclusions were jumped to:-
I was being forced to do this.
I was going to be seriously hurt (not in a good way )
I was derogatively prostituting myself.
Etc Etc Etc.
In a thread about face slapping i said i loved it but was having to stay away from it for a while as i had a broken tooth from a slap. Immediately it was assumed that the slap was an abusive one and not the accident it actually was. To clarify i was talking and the slap was a little misplaced and my teeth slammed together resulting in a broken tooth. The tooth was already cracked. It was an accident but the memos i recieved and a comment in the thread certainly didnt see it like that.
Now whilst i can see how conclusions are jumped to when only given limited info, maybe giving more info would be the simplest way to stop this. Sometimes that isnt feasable! (spelling)
Would it not make more sense to just ask, to say 'i dont want to jump to conclusions so please could you clarify this for me?'
I think i may (and i apologise) have just had a rant but i truely do want to understand what makes us jump to (mostly) the worst conclusions and make assumptions based on nothing.

I would respond, but I choose not to have a discussion with someone when they are high on crack.

_____________________________

(in reply to missturbation)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 7:52:09 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

they have pr oven blows to the head are dangerous. slapping or hitting someone in the head is never a good thing

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggg!!! WHEN is a blow a blow, baby?

Comonnnnnnnnnnn... sometimes slapping (and even punching) is NOT at all dangerous!

When a face is held softly with one hand, and the other hand, open, is brought across the cheek with a smart, stinging blow...that one is prepared for and expecting when it happens...it is NOT going to seriously hurt anybody!

EVERYTHING is relative and slapping does not have to be dangerous at all!

IMNSHO,
bearlee

They did this spacial on CNN about Chris benwah. they were talking about. concussions and how boxers use to get punch drunk syndrome do to hits to the head. they are only now finding out what this does to the brain

(in reply to Bearlee)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 7:52:46 AM

PeggyO

Posts: 129
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

they have proven blows to the head are dangerous. slapping or hitting someone in the head is never a good thing

Hello,

I know medical professionals who engage in things like martial arts as well as play that involves blows to the head. Are you saying that all blows to the head are inherently dangerous, regardless of severity and point of impact?

If you are saying that, please show us the studies and citations of medical literature where this has been "proven".

Thank you,

Peggy

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 7:53:17 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

I really do try to look beyond my own frames of refference-but I don't always manage it.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:00:19 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Fast Reply...

I was thinking about this just a couple of days ago. How often we've seen, in recent threads, someone posting a "help me" thread or a "question" thread, laying out a scenario, and then coming back with, "but that's not what I meant", or "that's not how it is" ? Some have asked for clarity and never get it.

One can only police oneself. Therefore, if you feel strongly about not making assumptions based in the information given, then you shouldn't post at all. But it's sometimes hard to resist, isn't it? If you're posting a thread, you should think about it, how others might perceive it, and give good basic information. You can not give too many details and yet provide enough information for those that wish to answer to give a good answer.

All in all, we're all human, as others have said, and this is the internet. It is what it is, and people are all different, so there is truly nothing that can be done except for policing oneself.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to BlindDescent)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:00:20 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

It's a good way to judge good advice giving. There are those who just jump to conclusions and start blasting away with all their prejudices and biases in full view.

And there are those who offer advice based on what they see, ask for clarification AND point out alternate possibilities.

The really good ones have a good track record of making very good observations on very little information.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RRafe)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:06:26 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

People often jump to conclusions and it is a real shame and does a disservice. The more a topic is about things that people do not normally do and especially if a person had a bad situation in that ballpark of an area.

Part of it is personal but mostly I have simply found that there is a mistaken cool factor or a misplaced selfishness/self righteousness that I do not do it or do not approve of it so therefore I must preach against it.

The examples the OP used have nothing to do with a problem of giving off too little information but the fact people to comfort themselves, make their statements more matter of fact/chest thumping will often to the point there is a problem with it on the boards and everywhere in cyber world that they are intelligent, safe and sane but all others a dangerous and stupid.

So it is simply too easy and too wrong for someone to imagine face slapping as dangerous they picture it as someone doing it out of anger. They picture someone being loaned out and think the person would prefer not to be and fail to see the bigger picture of that type of play and they are literally getting put out on the street to bring back money. They picture a gangbang as a bunch of unknown men lined out the bedroom door having unprotected sex. The realities of this of course are not/rarely true especially for someone who actually posts here but it sure makes people’s points look great.

It often comes down to a simple human nature truism. I am smarter and wiser then others and use worse case scenarios to color their opinion. I think it would be way more helpful and beneficial if people would write as equals and not write base on the worst case scenarios.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:08:29 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

missturbation: You have hit upon one of my pet peeves. I don't like it either, and I see it more than occasionally.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:16:14 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

Some people jump to conclusions when they project too much of their own experience onto your specific situation. My personal solution is to just talk about myself and what might seem like a similar situation and let you decide if there's enough similarity for my anecdote to mean anything. No matter how much anyone says, there are glaring holes in the story. That's human IMO. So I assume it. And when some jumps to conclusions with me? I ignore them.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to missturbation)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:20:07 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

there is not a lot of research there are new studies in which their findings are showing this
http://www.headinjury.com/sports.htm

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:20:18 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlindDescent

Our entire zone of behavior lives in the dangerous portion of an already unpredictable life full of potentially worse oopses.

clarification please....is "worse oopses" a technical term?

(in reply to BlindDescent)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:25:02 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

they have proven blows to the head are dangerous. slapping or hitting someone in the head is never a good thing

AHA that so explains why I am wasting money on weekly therapy! Thanks Latexbaby, I will forever quit banging my head against the wall.

um it is not that it is all the starbucks you are drinking

So you jump to the conclusion that I would waste my money on starbucks when I completely spelled out that I bang my head against the wall. Sorry but drinking starbucks deviates from SSC and I must assume that you are a wanna be and did not read my post completely or you are unable to read and comprehend.

See how it goes? Assumptions---good topic.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:25:11 AM

BlindDescent

Posts: 113
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline

LOL...we simply use more potentially dangerous devices in a sustained manner. Minor oops, elbow to the nose in bed...worse oops, suspension hooks being pulled out of the ceiling while trussed.

_____________________________

Reality is what you create; not what others leave behind.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:29:02 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I think that when parts of the story are missing, people tend to fill that in with their own experiences which may or may not be close to the OP's.

I think this is the best explanation I can see.

Give me any subject and 10 random people and you will probably have 10 different points of view based upon their own life experiences. I think it can be a wonderful thing. The problem ends up being, each person has a tendency to only accept their experience, their opinion based upon their experiences, as the "real" one "true" "correct" "real" etcetc etc way.

For me, my personal learning and growth comes when I open my mind and listen to what the others are saying, accept that it is their reality, that it is valid, and that pieces of it may be something new for me.

I try really hard to avoid jumping on the defensive, because that is what jumping to conclusions are. Defending our own personal point of view, our reality, validating who we believe we are. I don't always suceed. I must say that these forums have really helped me in this particular area. I came to this with a really narrow field of what is right and wrong with alot of the things discussed on these forums. I also came here to learn, that was my primary motive.

Another thought on bringing personal stuff here, having it be misunderstood and getting incorrect feedback because of it. I think if it were me, knowing how this stuff takes on a life of it's own and knowing how there are always those that are hungry to jump on it...........I wouldn't take the comments that don't apply too seriously at all. You know they are given based upon a misunderstanding, and so do those that are in your life. That is really all that matters.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 9/8/2007 8:32:00 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to camille65)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:31:15 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

they have proven blows to the head are dangerous. slapping or hitting someone in the head is never a good thing

AHA that so explains why I am wasting money on weekly therapy! Thanks Latexbaby, I will forever quit banging my head against the wall.

um it is not that it is all the starbucks you are drinking

So you jump to the conclusion that I would waste my money on starbucks when I completely spelled out that I bang my head against the wall. Sorry but drinking starbucks deviates from SSC and I must assume that you are a wanna be and did not read my post completely or you are unable to read and comprehend. See how it goes? Assumptions---good topic.

sure you do i bet you have the espresso or the French vanilla frappé

(in reply to Squeakers)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:36:15 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

sure you do i bet you have the espresso or the French vanilla frappé

Ugggghhhh NO! Plain old fresh ground coffee, ground in my personal grinder---breakfast blend works well. One cup, and personally I can get away with just smelling it and not drinking it at all.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:39:26 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Good grief.........talk about a sharp right turn.........jumping to conclusions, head blows, and coffee?!?! I am impressed!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Squeakers)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:44:14 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Good grief.........talk about a sharp right turn.........jumping to conclusions, head blows, and coffee?!?! I am impressed!

Well see Beautiful, it goes like this;

If you suffer a blow to the head before you've had your coffee on Saturday morning while posting on cm you jump to conclusions......

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:49:53 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

ahh! thanks for the clarification, now i understand...so...let me see if i have this right...correct me if i am wrong...minor oops - kneeing your Dom in the balls while hes trying to help you stand from your ever so graceful kneel.... worse oops - flaying your slave's back open with the single tail cause she took a half a step backwards to let someone by in a crowded play space? (hey why were you playing with a single tail in a crowded play space in the first place? i don't care that it was only a 3 ft snake whip....)

(in reply to BlindDescent)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Jumping to conclusions !! - 9/8/2007 8:49:56 AM

PeggyO

Posts: 129
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

there is not a lot of research there are new studies in which their findings are showing this
http://www.headinjury.com/sports.htm

Hello,

A read of this shows that the study in question refers to concussions. I think we can all agree that concussions are not a good thing.

However, all blows to the head do not result in concussions. So to say that "blows to the head are never a good thing" and supporting it with a study on concussions is a little bit misleading.

Be well,

Peggy

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Profile

Post #: 40