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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 10:18:45 AM

TakenPet

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I can tell you that I figured it out early in life, I didn't start to get involved in the lifestyle until I was about 18, but I knew that if the right person happened along I would be ready to serve. I cannot pinpoint the exact moment because as someone stated earlier its more of a journey/path in life that just seemed natural and it fit me.
I have always equated it to that young kid finding that activity that makes them so happy to play, this is my sport and I enjoy it. As consensual adults there is nothing wrong with it.
For everyone I think its a little different, everyone has a different kind of epiphany, and its exciting for each person in their own way. Just enjoy who you are and have fun.

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 10:54:20 AM

Shawn1066

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I remember having submissive yearnings in early childhood. They are, of course, a little different in nature than they are now...obviously they lacked a lot of the sexual connonantations that they do have now. I remember playing with my action figures and I would play out little stories in my head. The hero would often be captured and enslaved...and he would soon grow to love his new role and end up even working against his former allies.

Oh my goodness, my toys had Stockholm Syndrome. :-p

The first crush I ever, ever had occured on a playground when we were playing football. There was a girl, a little older than me, on the other team. When I got the ball, she tackled me rather hard...and I became quite smitten with her. When we played games, the little war type games that kids play, I'd often get captured by the female side on purpose. There was something about it I was just naturally drawn to.

As I got even older, and began to mature sexually, I began to realized that my fantasies were entirely unlike the thing I was "supposed" to like. I wanted to be controlled, tortured, humiliated, and the like. It completely overtook my urge for traditional intercourse in most occasions. It was what I dreamt about all the time. This frightened me quite a bit. I felt very afraid and alone and for the longest time. These feelings, later in tandem with my Parent's divorce, led to the most depressing time in my life. I really cried a lot over it. I recall, quite clearly, praying to God every single night to stop punishing me...because I'd never done anything to deserve all of this. I remember trying my best to just stop thinking about such things.

Luckily, time healed my wounds. As time went on, I was able to reconcile my submissive/masochistic tendencies with my life. I realized that it was just another aspect of my personality that needed to be loved and cherished like any other.

So, to answer the question... I've always known, even if I didn't know exactly what it was. I actually accepted it after a lot of research, prayer, and finally a conversation with my best friend. If he had responded badly, I don't know what I would have done. That was the acceptance I needed.

I wonder if he regrets it now. :-p

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 10:59:51 AM

colouredin

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For me i guess there have always been parts of it but when you dont know what your looking at you cant tell what it is. I actually put a little label to it during uni. I wrote an essay on sexual deviancy and got talking to loads of people from various sites. I decided to go to a fair to meet them all and the rest as they say is history. I guess the reason i initially was drawn to the topic is due to it being some latent idea in my mind that i had never addressed

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 4:20:44 PM

msindigomontoya

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Joined: 10/9/2007
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I thought about being put over my husbands knee and spanked forever, but never acted on it. When our marriage was ending one of the things we tried to keep it together was different kinds of roleplay, sex things etc. and then the OTK spanking was the first step. I think he was pretty surprised by my reaction (incoherent moaning, lots and lots of uh... fluid), the next step was tying me to the bed and so on. It kinda went from there. I wish I could say when I first started thinking about it in general, but I really don't know, it was a desire that grew for years and years. And now here I am... a 45 year old with a Daddy. Isn't life interesting?

Indigo

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 4:44:37 PM

lilrissa

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i knew at a very very early age i was different, but didn't know why. Even playing with barbie dolls, Ken called the shots, punished her for her wrong doings and had sex with her. i had never been exposed to anything like that in my own family, was never abused in anyway shape or form.
I was brought to the life by being found by my first Master who said he knew instantly upon meeting me that i was submissive and could be trained. I bucked it furiously for years with him but eventually gave in. I left the lifestyle and went back to the vanilla but felt that a part of me was missing. I missed the control I allowed another to have over me. I missed the praise for being pleasing to another and missed having my limits pushed. I had been in relationships that looking back now, he was submissive. I recall leaving them because I felt like a fish out of water. I did not know how to lead the relationship, did not want to be on the same par and so on. Wow this is harder to describe than I thought.
There have been books I have read (non bdsm) when it is definately a Dom/sub relationship and at the times the woman has been broken down into submission, I found myself crying because I remembered how it felt to be there. I crave it and need that as much as air to breath.
I can't really put into words the the way my heart races, my breath goes shallow and quick, when i am at His feet. I always have believed a woman was to be at home taking care of him and his home and was raised to be that way. I just have always known who it was that i am but needed another to find me and bring it out of me so that it could be nurtured. I can't imagine another way of life.

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 5:03:07 PM

Hergirl0824

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i knew from very early on thta i didn't fit in with the rest of the girls my age...at a time when women's lib was hitting its peak and all my friends were into being everything they wanted to on their own...i just knew it wasn't for me... but until Ma'am came along i had no idea that a lifestyle could include the feelings i had always had. The first time Ma'am walked up behind me, put Her hands on my shouldners and whispered in my ear, i knew i finally was where i belonged.

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 5:16:17 PM

sleeplessdomme

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There was never any one moment for me - the realisation came slowly over the last few years. I think a big part of it has been becoming involved with my current partner - before him I had never really liked sex or my relationship, because it was expected that I take a fairly submissive role - my ex had a real "lie back and think of england" type attitude. Leaving him and having a few short relationships/flings, before meeting my current partner woke me up a bit to the possibilities of what sex could be. When my sub and I became involved, the dynamic between us evolved over a period of time, maybe a year, before I could say I definitely identified with the idea that I was a domme. Since then I've just been learning as much as I can with him and on my own, but I doubt I'd be at this point now had I not realised that being submissive emotionally/sexually/intellectually etc does absolutely nothing for me, and conversely, that being in a position of dominance is the most erotic and stimulating way for me to live my life.

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 5:55:17 PM

Decimus

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It started back when I was very little. In grade school I had very "different" dreams and always liked the games where girls "captured" the guys; tag, jailbreak, etc. Then when I was early teens I started reading about what it was and learning as much as I could. The hardest part for me has been since I found out so young I've been searching my whole dating career to find a domme, very hard in this neck of the woods, lol.

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 6:45:52 PM

wildaces

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What made me realize who i was. It was my first Master...at the time i didnt understand the feelings. It was waaaaay before the net and what not. He opened the door on who i was and i just ran with it :) now some 20 odd years later i have never looked back!

wild

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 7:00:28 PM

maclough

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I never didn't know who I was or atleast i don't remember... my first love, first real relationship was D/s... I had no clue that what i was experiencing was anything to do with BDSM, but yep stumbled right into it. Oh I also ran from it, but then wow there it was once again.

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/26/2007 7:03:06 PM

RRafe

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I've always known that I had unusual tastes. The women I have dated only helped me to refine them.

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/27/2007 7:20:51 AM

lateralist1

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Joined: 11/22/2006
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I have always been a sadistic Domme but I trained myself to societies norms of female submissiveness to find what I wanted in life only it didn't work out like that because I never could really like dominant men.
I have difficulty in hiding my feelings for them in fact I invariably don't lol.
This of course leads to a lot of problems in my life.
So I have learned to keep my temper and keep my big mouth shut. Well most of the time anyway. Not all men have a problem with hitting a woman nonconsensually.

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RE: What made you realize who you are? - 10/27/2007 6:12:34 PM

Michaelsangel

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Joined: 10/15/2007
From: Portland Oregon
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i guess i have always known i was a submissive. Even as a child, nothing gave me more pleasure than the knowledge that i was pleasing someone , wheither it was my parents, teachers or other friends. It wasn't until i was an adult that i realized there was a name for the type of person i was....and that name is submissive....

Repectfully,
Michaelsangel

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