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How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/9/2007 10:56:20 PM   
BlackSakura


Posts: 131
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline 		How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking?  Having never been a smoker I don't know anythign about this.  I don't know if I should abou this the medical or BDSM way...

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 4:46:03 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		it can be VERY difficult to stop smoking for most people.  the majority of smokers have a physical addiction to them.   perhaps a double-pronged effort....some sort of quit smoking aid, plus the discipline from the dominant?

kitten, whose Sir knows she smokes occasionally, and he allows me to do so.

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 6:23:44 AM   
cbtok


Posts: 70
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline 		I suppose if you are in a 24/7 situation, you can prevent access to anything that might be smoked.

For someone who has an addiction to smoking, the physical craving will not fully dissipate until one year passes. If you run into a man who does needlepoint or knitting, that hobby may have its roots in having quit (or tried) and having needed to do something with one's hands.

There are resources on the Internet to help quit. There are very good hypnotists out there who work with smokers and there are prescribed drugs as well as patches and gum that can be used to decrease the dependence.

Of course, if you have your smoker fully restrained and fully under your control, you can use denial without even getting their consent…

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 7:18:30 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSakura

How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking?  Having never been a smoker I don't know anythign about this.  I don't know if I should abou this the medical or BDSM way...


How about both?

Trying to quit smoking usually comes down to a will power matter--whether one has the motivation and then the will power to deny a want. BDSM can help augment the motivation and will power. In comparison, I think you will fare better if the person in question wants to quit versus if the person does not really want to quit but is attempting it because he is being told to do so.

I do not smoke and cannot directly relate with a smoker trying to quit. I do know that my father smoked many packs a day before he had kids. He had tremendous will power but could not quit because he did not want to quit. Then he had children. And then he had the motivation and a reason to quit--he did not want to expose or inspire the kids to smoke and wanted to use the money he spent on cigarettes on the kids instead. He quit without any assistance from patches or the like.

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 7:21:40 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
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From: Austin Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSakura

How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking?  Having never been a smoker I don't know anythign about this.  I don't know if I should abou this the medical or BDSM way...


I quit for 7 years. *pauses to light up, yup it didn't stick*.
Does he/she want to quit? It is impossible to quit for someone else.
Isolation helped me, not being able to buy or borrow cigs off anyone. That was about a 3 week process.

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 7:53:08 AM   
ChainsandFreedom


Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking?  Having never been a smoker I don't know anythign about this.  I don't know if I should abou this the medical or BDSM way...


1st, are you getting or helping a sub to quit?
Because if your 'getting', not 'helping', it wont work. They have to truly want to quit, and often even then it wont work.
Same goes for the 'medical' way. There are aids to quitting, but there arn't real methods. It's a matter of willpower, and choosing a tool or two to take the edge off.

I've wondered myself if I could be forced to quit smoking through BDSM. uhm. I think my love of bdsm might break before my addiction. Bondage or a padded room wont work-even if you want to deal with bedpans and feedings or whatnot, the craving will be there as soon as their in public and others are smoking.

A pain aversion might work, if your sadistic enough, but if their willing to tolerate that much pain, than probably it wont be enough of a deterant.

"having never been a smoker", you might be playing with fire. Oftentimes good intentions only serve to alienate someone, and/or piss them off. Non-smokers often mention quitting or not lighting up at bad times. It's not their fault. Not being stupid enough to have started smoking, they don't know stupid is as stupid does in the same way.

What should be guilt on a smokers part turns to annoyance-'tis the nature of the addiction.

Decide if you're willing to be with them even if they never quit-because it might come to that.

Dont tell my Madame, but the prospect of a child or a divorce would probably be about the only things in her power to get me to quit.

So I'd say, if you don't absolutely love the smoker, its not you're place to try and get them to quit. If you do, good luck, be patient, and expect setbacks. Help them don't force them. Ask them what kind of encouragment/punishment might help...imposing anything else would be too contrived for a given individual.

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 8:12:51 AM   
sublimnity


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		Hi. Here is what worked for me. I used the nicotine gum and it really was helpful. I tried it once and followed the instructions and it didn't work because they tell you to only chew so many pieces a day and to quit smoking immediately and just chew the gum. The second time I tried it I diregarded the instructions and kept smoking and started to chew the gum in place of smoking once or twice a day when I would usually really want a cigarette like after meals. Then after a few days I follwed a rule: every time I had a strong urge to smoke I chewed a new piece of gum regardless of how often that was. Yes the gum was addicting but the transition off of it was fairly easy. I tried a patch and it didn't have the same self satiation deal as the gum so it didn't help. Good luck it is very worthwhile to quit. Tell him to brush his teeth after everytime he eats something. Allen

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 8:28:41 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		Agree with some of the previous posters...

It has to come from within first...imo. We all know we should quit but until you really truly want to quit it just ain't likely going too happen until you are flat out fed up and WANT to change.

I've quit other substances and it was easy once I made the decision to quit.

I personally feel if you try and "force" your partner to quit it just might cause some resentment and possibly worse? If your partner wants to quit maybe try and be a support system as much as possible but I wouldn't expect alot because it's really your partners will/decision in the end.......jmo

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 8:32:36 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		the patch rocks for me ... HOWEVER, the person has to really want to stop....

< Message edited by kittensmailbox -- 9/10/2007 8:34:06 AM >

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 9:07:45 AM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I've gotten tired of it and so has he. He's going for round two of a cessation program. It didn't take the first time. My rule is that he's got to at least be actively trying, and he has.
It's not easy, and all the "I forbid you" in the world isn't going to do anything but make him hate me, so I'm not going there.

He likes this program a lot, because it bucks a lot of conventional wisdom that hasn't worked in the past for him - you KEEP your smokes, you carry them around, you go on your smoke breaks, you confront every craving every time.



< Message edited by Grlwithboy -- 9/10/2007 9:09:33 AM >

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 9:16:12 AM   
privatelives


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/26/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		i took the easy way out of smoking, i quit 4 years ago. All i did was substitute Cigarettes with Chocolate biscuits/cookies. i figured i could worry about weight gain after, luckily i didnt gain much & it worked!
 
 
red.

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 9:42:17 AM   
whipingherfeet


Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		tell him you dont want him smokeing as a slave he must  obey if not cane the soles of his feet every times he smokes this should stop him

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 3:21:06 PM   
BlackSakura


Posts: 131
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your adivice.  This really helps and gives me a different perspective on things.  I know I cannot force him to quit, as I understand the addiction and understand that it's one of those will power things.  But thank you all again
^_^


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Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away, and you have their shoes!

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 3:52:18 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		Sew their lips shut?



Is the sub the one who wants to stop or you? Unless this sub wants to stop smoking it isn't going to happen. It's hard enough when the person deeply wishes to stop. If the sub does wish to stop I'd use both ways. The medical ways with behaviour modification and support from you would probably be the best for long term quitting.



If you're the one sick of having a smoker around you, forbid them to smoke in your presence. You have the right to not have your lungs, skin, furniture etc ruined by second hand smoke.

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 8:54:44 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		The Kaptin helped me quit smoking when we met.  I wanted a relationship with Him; He didn't want a relationship with a smoker.  So I asked for help quitting an almost 30-year, pack-a-day habit, after backsliding once (a week after I "quit").  What worked for me was this:  He devised a punishment that, to me, was the most heinous, humiliating thing imaginable and told me if I ever lit another cigarette, He'd do it to me.  Since I would do whatever it takes to avoid ever having that punishment inflicted upon me, I've not had a cigarette since, and that was May, 2000.   Of course, I gained 50 lb and can't seem to lose it, but I don't smoke any more!

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/10/2007 9:49:59 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hypnosis worked for me a few years ago. I had tried  "cold turkey" (pretty much a joke for me), and also Nicorette (I chewed the gum and smoked at the same time, hehe).

Hypnosis was the only thing that worked - but you need to make sure it is a reputable hypnotist (ask for references, and see how long they've been in business, do they have a BBB recommendation?, where did they go to school, etc).

The upside is that it only cost me $100 to do that, and I only had 2 sessions, each lasting less than an hour. Lots less expensive than treating lung cancer.

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/10/2007 10:41:18 PM >

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That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/11/2007 6:57:51 AM   
MzShngStar


Posts: 10
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline 		Hello All,
             There is a new pill out that really works. It's called Chantix. My sub and I both had smoked for 30+ yrs, over a pack a day and we both quit !! Its a great tool in helping to quit smoking if you want to quit.It is available by prescription from your doctor. It ran us about $120 a month for the pill, but was so worth it considering that cigs are 40+ a carton here right now. I have had very little cravings since I stopped, it actually took me about 6 weeks and it took my sub about 12. Good Luck to all that want to quit!!

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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/11/2007 2:08:35 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom

A pain aversion might work, if your sadistic enough, but if their willing to tolerate that much pain, than probably it wont be enough of a deterant.


Are you talking about conditioned aversion?

Because the amount of pain involved is probably past what you can safely use for repeat conditioning, unless you have access to medical grade capsaicin for injection or somesuch. Seriously, most people I know with that addiction will pick it over food when hungry, or even resort to picking stubs off the street when desperate.

Then there's the whole getting cranky bit...

As I recall, the first 72 hours are worst, then it drops a bit, peaks after 1-3 months, and levels off for about a year or so. One whiff is all it takes to start over at a later point in time, for many. Heroin addicts aren't nearly as desperate, and have an easier time of quitting for a given amount of time/money spent on taking the edge off.

I'd say put them on the drugs, then keep them locked up or whatever for 72 hours, and then keep a tight leash on them, so to speak. That would be a place to start, at least. As their tolerance decreases, it may be viable to use maintenance therapy on nicotine patches or somesuch, if nothing else will do the trick.

Health,
al-Aswad.


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"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/11/2007 3:05:23 PM   
MsSophie


Posts: 142
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: Stockholm, Sweden
Status: offline 		Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances we could ever put our bodies in contact with and I suggest that if your sub is addicted to the drug he/she seeks help from the doctor to quit. Doing it on your own is hell, I have tried. There are plenty of substitutes available, if you need them, and what many forget to mention is that you could, if you're addicted enough, put your body through quite a hardship by going "cold turkey".
Ask your GP for help!


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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 9/11/2007 3:12:05 PM   
minta


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		just keep in mind that the medicine Zayban (which is used to help quit smoking) is also welburtrin, a very heavy ani-depressant, i was unaware of that fact and damn near killed myself and everyone around me.

chantix works very well.

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