SusanofO
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Joined: 12/19/2005
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kevinbd9: I know you meant well, but IMO getting someone to diet, exercise, etc - is nowhere near "in the same ballpark" as getting someone to quit smoking. I realize that food addictions can be powerful for some people, but IMO a smoking addiction is still stronger.
For some people, a smoking addiction can be stronger than a heroin addiction. Ever seen anybody de-tox from being addicted to heroin? It's incredibly uncomfortable for them - painful, even. They sweat, and have night-mares, and scream, and sometimes even hallucinate. Had I thought for one second, that my only punishment for smoking was going to be a whipping, or a spanking - it would never have fazed me, or even encouraged me to want to stop.
We are talking about someone who would get up in the middle of the night, and walk to a convenience store in a Blizzard, to get a pack of cigarettes, because the thought of being out of them for even one day makes their skin crawl. In my worst moments, I would have made ridiculous economic trade-offs (I'll trade you a pack of cigarettes, for your fur coat) to keep my precious stash of tobacco handy.
BDSM "discipline" (at least physical discipline) is not going to help, IMO.
However, using one's authority and insisting someone seek help to quit - or (possibly) insinuating you will leave the relationship unless the person tries to quit, and uses methods that have been proven to help others quit smoking, might work very well. In any case, it can't hurt.
Although I will say re: Threats, in many cases, may very well backfire. So you better make sure you can carry it out, if you make this kind of threat - because you might well have to (plenty of folks cannot quit on their first try - even with all of the help in the world) - so it can't be an "idle threat". But, I know if someone had made that threat to me - I might well have chosen the cigarettes (no kidding.)
IMO "hiding" (or preventing access to) their cigarettes is a crap idea, too (think they can't get in a car, or walk, to a store, and buy some of their own? Or find a friend who has some cigarettes they will give them? Think they won't lie to your face, and say they won't ever do that kind of thing? It's a drug addiction. If they want a cigarette, and aren't committed to quitting, or have a relapse, then they will.)
But threatening a spanking or a caning (or even several), taking away privileges, etc? No. That's nothing, compared to the strength of this kind of addiction. Not when you are dealing with someone who would be willing to walk bare-foot over cut glass, for a fix of tobacco, which is about the level of addiction a hard-core smoker faces. It's a drug addiction. There are Nicotine Anonymous support groups, in some cities, for people who want to avail themselves of them (check the Yellow Pages).
I say trying a good Hypnotist, or using the Patch, or something similar, and being encouraging and supportive, will help. But the person definitely has to want to stop. Without their cooperation and drive, it isn't going to work. I don't think any Domme should blame themselves, if their submissive doesn't quit - no matter how much they themselves try to help.
But BDSM physical "punishments" just will do nothing - or possibly more harm than good, as far as getting anyone to actually quit smoking.
- Susan
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/14/2007 8:54:41 AM >
_____________________________
"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? - 
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