RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message

Aswad -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/11/2007 4:26:15 PM)

minta,

Bupropion (zyban/wellbutrin) is not a particularly heavy antidepressant. But it does have its contraindications and precautions, like any drug does. Obviously, your doctor should have paid closer attention to things before prescribing it. There are some cases in which it should not be used, such as heart problems, certain concomittant medications, seizure disorders, predisposition to psychosis, bipolar disorder, etc.

Health,
al-Aswad.



Celeste43 -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/11/2007 5:17:21 PM)

About 20% of smokers are so heavily addicted that they may never be able to quit. I helped a friend kick a heroin addiction many years ago, but she never did manage to quit smoking. It really can be that bad.

Basically; try everything, hypnosis, acupuncture, smoke-enders, patch or gum, Zyban etc. Use as many of them together as you can.



BeachMystress -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/12/2007 7:33:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: minta

just keep in mind that the medicine Zayban (which is used to help quit smoking) is also welburtrin, a very heavy ani-depressant, i was unaware of that fact and damn near killed myself and everyone around me.

chantix works very well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: minta

just keep in mind that the medicine Zayban (which is used to help quit smoking) is also welburtrin, a very heavy ani-depressant, i was unaware of that fact and damn near killed myself and everyone around me.

chantix works very well.

I have a couple of questions/observations.
First, what were you doing taking a drug without making sure you understood what it is for? Your Dr is not God. You are responsible for your health. It takes 5 mins to Google a new drug and read up about it. If you're not going to do extensive research you at least need to read the side effects.

Second, as is pointed out, the ingrediant in Zyban (bupropion) is a mild to moderate antidepressant. Your Dr knows this. If you'd have asked him or her about the medication you were being given you would have known this. I find it hard to believe that your Dr didn't schedule you for frequent follow ups to check the medication.  And when you notice a change in your behaviour when on a new medication, the first thing you do is call your Dr.



TheIronHorse -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/12/2007 7:35:13 PM)

I suppose the sub needs to want to quit Smoking.

Xyban? ZYBAN! the pill, has worked for several people I know. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSakura

How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking?  Having never been a smoker I don't know anythign about this.  I don't know if I should abou this the medical or BDSM way...



kevinbd9 -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/13/2007 6:11:16 AM)

I agree if he dosn't want to quit he wont.  But adding BDSM to help him quit can't hurt.  Forbid him to smoke in your presence or give him a choice, ge could cum today or smoke today.  Maybe forbid him to smoke more then a pack a day, then slowly start cutting it back to less and less as a punishment.  Lets say he is late coming to see you, he gets one less smoke a day. 

An ex Mistress of mine got me to get into shape, by using BDSM.  I know it is different then smoking, but it is in the same ballpark



Grlwithboy -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/13/2007 6:22:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kevinbd9

I agree if he dosn't want to quit he wont.  But adding BDSM to help him quit can't hurt.  Forbid him to smoke in your presence or give him a choice, ge could cum today or smoke today.  Maybe forbid him to smoke more then a pack a day, then slowly start cutting it back to less and less as a punishment.  Lets say he is late coming to see you, he gets one less smoke a day. 

An ex Mistress of mine got me to get into shape, by using BDSM.  I know it is different then smoking, but it is in the same ballpark


No, it's not. We group 'em together mentally but it's not. I cut all sugar out of my diet cold turkey for over a year, but it's still easier than quitting smoking.




MiladyElaine -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/13/2007 10:56:20 AM)

I quit with patches and smoking at the same time.  I wore a patch a day and had a cig after each meal and one at bedtime.  By the time I was almost finished with my single pack of cigs, my craving was gone.  This was after chain smoking for 18 yrs!   And I STILL want one every once in awhile and it's been 12 yrs now. 



DollysSissyGirl -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/13/2007 6:47:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cbtok

I suppose if you are in a 24/7 situation, you can prevent access to anything that might be smoked.



I relate to this.  I quit within a couple weeks after she put the cigerettes out in my mouth or on my arse and then with the help of Chantix to finally rid my addiction.  Chantix  helps subside the need for nicotine within the first crucial three days of quitting cigeretts.  $125 for a month with insurance (even with the best health insurance, you'll have to pay about $125  yourself).



LadyHugs -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/13/2007 9:17:18 PM)

Dear BlackSakura, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Smoking to me is an addiction and until that person 'wills' themselves to want to quit and stick with a plan to stop smoking; all the gimics people try--to include Dominant's punishments and such will not work.  If you have around the clock, like prisoner control--yes.  However, there will be times when a smoker will be away from your view and or control.
 
The smoker will sneak/cheat.  Getting drags off another's cigarette, bumming one here and there, hide packs at work and such--well, you can see the overall problem.
 
I've seen people quit a relationship before quiting the habit of smoking, as well as drugs and drinking.  Addiction is the person's first 'master.'
 
Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



glassdoll -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/14/2007 3:07:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSakura

Thank you all for your adivice.  This really helps and gives me a different perspective on things.  I know I cannot force him to quit, as I understand the addiction and understand that it's one of those will power things.  But thank you all again[8D]
^_^


I beilve there is pill , it starts with a "c". You take it for 3 months and you are said to never smoke again. It helps to reduce cravings and takes a week to start taking effect. Though it is quite pricey. My former employer took it and it also helped her to reduce food cravings, so she lost wieght. ( Instead of gaining, because that's usually what happens when you stop smoking).



glassdoll -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/14/2007 3:09:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DollysSissyGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: cbtok

I suppose if you are in a 24/7 situation, you can prevent access to anything that might be smoked.




I relate to this.  I quit within a couple weeks after she put the cigerettes out in my mouth or on my arse and then with the help of Chantix to finally rid my addiction.  Chantix  helps subside the need for nicotine within the first crucial three days of quitting cigeretts.  $125 for a month with insurance (even with the best health insurance, you'll have to pay about $125  yourself).

I didn't see your post before I posted. Sorry! I hate repeating what others have said.



SusanofO -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/14/2007 7:55:11 AM)

kevinbd9: I know you meant well, but IMO getting someone to diet, exercise, etc - is nowhere near "in the same ballpark" as getting someone to quit smoking. I realize that food addictions can be powerful for some people, but IMO a smoking addiction is still stronger. 

For some people, a smoking addiction can be stronger than a heroin addiction. Ever seen anybody de-tox from being addicted to heroin? It's incredibly uncomfortable for them - painful, even. They sweat, and have night-mares, and scream, and sometimes even hallucinate. Had I thought for one second, that my only punishment for smoking was going to be a whipping, or a spanking - it would never have fazed me, or even encouraged me to want to stop.

We are talking about someone who would get up in the middle of the night, and walk to a convenience store in a Blizzard, to get a pack of cigarettes, because the thought of being out of them for even one day makes their skin crawl. In my worst moments, I would have made ridiculous economic trade-offs (I'll trade you a pack of cigarettes, for your fur coat) to keep my precious stash of tobacco handy. 

BDSM "discipline" (at least physical discipline) is not going to help, IMO.

However, using one's authority and insisting someone seek help to quit - or (possibly) insinuating you will leave the relationship unless the person tries to quit, and uses methods that have been proven to help others quit smoking, might work very well. In any case, it can't hurt.

Although I will say re: Threats, in many cases, may very well backfire.  So you better make sure you can carry it out, if you make this kind of threat - because you might well have to (plenty of folks cannot quit on their first try - even with all of the help in the world) -  so it can't be an "idle threat". But, I know if someone had made that threat to me - I might well have chosen the cigarettes (no kidding.)

IMO "hiding" (or preventing access to) their cigarettes is a crap idea, too (think they can't get in a car, or walk, to a store, and buy some of their own? Or find a friend who has some cigarettes they will give them? Think they won't lie to your face, and say they won't ever do that kind of thing? It's a drug addiction. If they want a cigarette, and aren't committed to quitting, or have a relapse, then they will.)

But threatening a spanking or a caning (or even several), taking away privileges, etc? No. That's nothing, compared to the strength of this kind of addiction. Not when you are dealing with someone who would be willing to walk bare-foot over cut glass, for a fix of tobacco, which is about the level of addiction a hard-core smoker faces. It's a drug addiction. There are Nicotine Anonymous support groups, in some cities, for people who want to avail themselves of them (check the Yellow Pages).

I say trying a good Hypnotist, or using the Patch, or something similar, and being encouraging and supportive, will help. But the person definitely has to want to stop. Without their cooperation and drive, it isn't going to work. I don't think any Domme should blame themselves, if their submissive doesn't quit - no matter how much they themselves try to help.

But BDSM physical "punishments" just will do nothing - or possibly more harm than good, as far as getting anyone to actually quit smoking.

- Susan 



Grlwithboy -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/14/2007 8:38:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

kevinbd9: I know you meant well, but IMO getting someone to diet, exercise, etc - is nowhere near "in the same ballpark" as getting someone to quit smoking. I realize that food addictions can be powerful for some people, but IMO a smoking addiction is still stronger. 

For some people, a smoking addiction can be stronger than a heroin addiction. Ever seeen anybody de-tox from being addicted to heroin? It's incredibly uncomfortable for them - painful, even. They sweat, and have night-mares, and scream, and sometimes even hallucinate. Had I thought for one second, that my only punishment for smoking was going to be a whipping, or a spanking - it would never have fazed me, or even encouraged me to want to stop.

We are talking about someone who would get up in the middle of the night, and walk to a convenience store in a Blizzard, to get a pack of cigarettes, because the thought of being out of them for even one day makes their skin crawl. In my worst moments, I would have made ridiculous economic trade-offs (I'll trade you a pack of cigarettes, for your fur coat) to keep my precious stash of tobacco handy. 

BDSM "discipline" (at least physical discipline) is not going to help, IMO.

However, using one's authority and insisting someone seek help to quit - or (possibly) insinuating you will leave the relationship unless the person tries to quit, and uses methods that have been proven to help others quit smoking, might work very well. In any case, it can't hurt.

Although I will say re: Threats, in many cases, may very well backfire.  So you better make sure you can carry it out, if you make this kind of threat - because you might well have to (plenty of folks cannot quit on their first try - even with all of the help in the world) -  so it can't be an "idle threat". But, I know if someone had made that threat to me - I might well have chosen the cigarettes (no kidding.)

IMO "hiding" (or preventing access to) their cigarettes is a crap idea, too (think they can't get in a car,  or walk, to a store, and buy some of their own? Or find a friend who has some cigarettes they will give them? Think they won't lie to your face, and say they won't do that kind of thing? If they want a cigarette, and aren't committed to quitting, or have a relapse, then they will.)

But threatening a spanking or a caning (or even several), taking away privileges, etc? No. That's nothing, compared to the strength of this kind of addiction. Not when you are dealing with someone who would be willing to walk bare-foot over cut glass, for a fix of tobacco, which is about the level of addiction a hard-core smoker faces. It's a drug addiction. There are Nicotine Anonymous support groups, in some cities, for people who want to avail themselves of them (check the Yellow Pages).

I say trying a good Hypnotist, or using the Patch, or something similar, and being encouraging and supportive, will help. But the person definitely has to want to stop. Without their cooperation and drive, it isn't going to work.

But BDSM physical "punishments" just will do nothing - or possibly more harm than good, as far as getting anyone to actually quit smoking.

- Susan 


Thank you, this artculates my observation completely.  Different smokers are addicted at different levels, I think I've known people who literally only smoke socially at bars - I don't think these people's receptors hook onto the stuff the way my husband's do (he will drive out at 3 am in snow if he's out of HIS smokes, not just any smokes)

I've never seen anything quite like it.





SusanofO -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/14/2007 8:40:37 AM)

Grlwithboy: I was going to cite in my post I agreed with you completely too. I will say it here. I agree there are different "levels" of smoking addiction - there are people who only smoke under certain conditions (bars, restaurants, maybe even only after sex, or something). For these folks, it is maybe easier to quit. Most smokers I know are hard-core addicted smokers willing to do almost anything for a fix. I was never a "casual" smoker, either (I can't fathom the idea). But they do exist.

I completely failed until I found a good Hypnotist (and it only cost me $100). She gauranteed as many as necessary "follow up" sessions for "re-inforcement", and she had a wonderful rep in town, and a long list of satisfied clients.

She made me write a list of 5 of my top reasons I wanted to stop, and then hypnotized me picturing myself operating under those conditions: Food tastes a lot better, more money for other things, not dying of lung cancer like my mother did, not being treated  like a social Pariah in most restaurants and offices and places of business and social circles, etc. 

But, different methods work for different people. I've been told (by more than one person who would know) that I am "highly hypnotizeable" (whatever that means). But it might give you hope - because I smoked about 1-1/2 packs a day, for over 26 years.

Good luck to your husband - I know it is a very difficult habit to kick (and it isn't your fault at all, if he fails for some reason - but I am sure you already know that. He probably appreciates your help, though, would be my guess). 

- Susan



Grlwithboy -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/14/2007 9:18:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Grlwithboy: I was going to cite in my post I agreed with you completely too. I will say it here. I agree there are different "levels" of smoking addiction - there are people who only smoke under certain conditions (bars, restaurants, maybe even only after sex, or something). For these folks, it is maybe easier to quit. Most smokers I know are hard-core addicted smokers willing to do almost anything for a fix. I was never a "casual" smoker, either (I can't fathom the idea). But they do exist.

I completely failed until I found a good Hypnotist (and it only cost me $100). She gauranteed as many as necessary "follow up" sessions for "re-inforcement", and she had a wonderful rep in town, and a long list of satisfied clients.

She made me write a list of 5 of my top reasons I wanted to stop, and then hypnotized me picturing myself operating under those conditions: Food tastes a lot better, more money for other things, not dying of lung cancer like my mother did, not being treated  like a social Pariah in most restaurants and offices and places of business and social circles, etc. 

But, different methods work for different people. I've been told (by more than one person who would know) that I am "highly hypnotizeable" (whatever that means). But it might give you hope - because I smoked about 1-1/2 packs a day, for over 26 years.

Good luck to your husband - I know it is a very difficult habit to kick (and it isn't your fault at all, if he fails for some reason - but I am sure you already know that. He probably appreciates your help, though, would be my guess). 

- Susan


Oh that's funny about the visualizations you mentioned, because this program he's doing emphasizes all the same things. It's the idea that you are choosing THOSE things over smoking (among a lot of other ideas...)

He hasn't been at it as long, only since he was 28 and he's 35. But it's amazing how hooked he is. I find that the less he wants to continue the more open about using different methods at once he is becoming.



SusanofO -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/14/2007 9:23:46 AM)

I think using different methods at once is probably a good idea. IMO, it couldn't hurt. I wish I'd investigated hypnosis sooner - when I was using Nicorette, I was actually smoking and chewing the gum at the same time, at times (!). I think with hypnosis and Nicorette together, that would have been a lot less likely to happen (but I didn't think about trying all sorts of methods together). But it sounds like a good idea.

I also remember really having a "personal crisis" over the dilemma of how to keep my hands busy when there was no cigarette I was holding. It sound stupid, but if you are used to having a cigarette in your hands, you need to find something else to do with them if you're not going to ever smoke. I sometimes think my Internet fascination (and also typing a lot on message boards) might be a substitute (but maybe not). Also, I noticed I started cooking a lot more after I quit - I like to cook anyway, but it kept me busy (specifically my hands busy). But eventually, that need resolves itself.

I also gained at least 15 pounds when I quit. IMO, part of that was due to metabolic changes in my body from quitting - and part was due to eating more, because I needed some substitue for the oral fixation I had for cigarettes. But I dieted them off within a year. For some men, this is no big deal (for some it might be). But for a woman, for years, I rationalized this was a very good reason to not quit (I'd get fat). I'd be dead earlier, but at least my corpse wouldn't be "fat". Stupid.

- Susan 



indiegrrl -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/18/2007 12:48:52 PM)

6:00 am. Saturday, September 8th, 2007 ...... that was my last cigarette.  I had a smoker's hang-over and really didn't want to smoke that day, so destiny gave me a lil jump start.  Then I got an offer I could not refuse.  Something I desire more than anything in the world will never happen unless I quit.  After nearly 20 years of smoking, it hurts like hell to not have one when I want one.  (Hmm that evil 'want' word.)  It's the worst time in the world to quit smoking, yet I can't bare the thought of actually lighting up right now.   To live without that opportunity....that's a pain I could not withstand.  Motivation comes in many ways.  I've got mine. 
 
 
indiegrrl
~~smell the roses; blow out the candles~~



SusanofO -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/18/2007 11:05:24 PM)

indiegirl: Good luck!  You can do this ! Hang in there.[:)]

- Susan



MaamJay -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/18/2007 11:53:49 PM)

My first hubby quit cold turkey one day when it dawned on him that his addiction had more control over him than his conscious mind. I didn't believe it would last ... but it did! He is now the most rabid antismoker LOL! My parents quit when their health deteriorated. Mum didn't miss it, Dad did, right up till his death at age 72 from emphysema.

I am asthmatic and cigarette smoke is one of My strongest triggers ... probably due to having spent My first 30 years of life continually exposed to it. I will not tolerate a smoker in My close life, so I won't have to deal with the issue of helping one to quit, they won't get past first base. I am incredibly relieved that public places here such as pubs have finally gone nonsmoking ... now I can go out and enjoy what they have to offer.

In terms of nicotine addiction, I concur with much of what has been written. It can be incredibly powerful, worse than many drugs that aren't legal. If someone is more of a social smoker, then it may be easier for a Dominant to assist by mental control and also exerting some physical control over circumstances in which the person is inclined to smoke. If they are powerfully addicted, then their help would be considerably less significant. I think a variety of methods applied concurrently probably have the best chance of success, though it's important to talk this over with a good Dr to be sure that none of the medications/patches etc conflict with each other. The aim is all-round support, for the physical cravings, for the social displacement (what to do with your hands, how else to initiate conversations with people ... smokers often use their habit to do that etc), for the mental preoccupation, and to replace the "bad habit" with a good one. Some kind of reward system would probably work better than a punishment system. Praise, Your obvious pleasure with his progress, putting the money away for some ultimate goal he really desires, or using it for a series of smaller rewards all help. And remember, it takes at least 21 days of consistent new behaviour to break an old habit and substitute a new one! That's a minimum, it could take longer ... and that's just for the habit, not the physical addiction.

Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]



indiegrrl -> RE: How do you get/help a sub to stop smoking? (9/26/2007 10:00:08 AM)

Thank you for the support SusanofO. 18 days and counting.  Still want one now more than ever.  Wants are different than needs though.
 
indiegrrl



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
4.296875E-02