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RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 7:23:21 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou
I have always seen decisiveness as a dominant trait.

Well that's pretty common and understandable how you reached that perception.

But we always like to SAY at least that submissives are just as decisive and capable and all that stuff as anyone else- that whole screaming "NOT A DOORMAT!" thing.

So if you get turned on and attracted to someone who is decisive (trust me, not all doms are) then go with it. You seem to understand now that it's not solely the playground of dominants to make rules and choices and while something might even be a general "trait" that doesn't mean it's part of their orientation.

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Post #: 21

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 7:51:47 AM

strongwill

Posts: 12
Joined: 6/5/2005
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do what i am told work home no Mistress? my house is messy [unless companies coming over- that is company i care about -that is company that i care about what they think about me is coming over ]its called external motivation or external struture.i use my internal motivation to find some external struture! there that answers my own question sorry bout he rest of You smiles

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Post #: 22

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 9:29:42 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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I had no rules growing up;
=====
basically neither did i. as an only child i was left to do as i please.......and at over 50 i still do.
the only "rules" i had, per se
do not lie to me
do not steal from me
and do not stab me in the back
otherwise.......nope.

the wolf

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Post #: 23

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 10:56:13 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

I also beg forgiveness I didn't mean to make TD&W feel like a freak, but, see, He is a dominant and He said "rules I create."

Oh please, no apologies. You didn't make me feel like a freak. I just am one...a proud one. I like the fact that I am not like other people.

Your post was in no way offensive...and there are lots of people who feel like you do. And not all of them are freaks. *smile*

Taggard

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Post #: 24

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 11:09:59 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou
I have always seen decisiveness as a dominant trait.

Well that's pretty common and understandable how you reached that perception.

But we always like to SAY at least that submissives are just as decisive and capable and all that stuff as anyone else- that whole screaming "NOT A DOORMAT!" thing.

So if you get turned on and attracted to someone who is decisive (trust me, not all doms are) then go with it. You seem to understand now that it's not solely the playground of dominants to make rules and choices and while something might even be a general "trait" that doesn't mean it's part of their orientation.

=========

yeah. what she said. ES won't steer ya wrong. she has some good ideas and great posts.!
the wolf

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Post #: 25

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 12:10:44 PM

ledastray

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/21/2005
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Uh ... yeah.

No one lives without some sort of a structure. If Doms and/or subs seem to have a fondness for rules and structure, it's because they are into control, which almost goes without saying.

But yeah ... I like playing games with no rules and often I also like playing games where the rules aren't 'fair'. Where there is no winning, or no losing, where they are seemingly arbitrary. I think it's called predicament play.

Change it about yourself if you want .. but otherwise I would make up your own rules.

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Post #: 26

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 3:34:24 PM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ledastray

But yeah ... I like playing games with no rules and often I also like playing games where the rules aren't 'fair'. Where there is no winning, or no losing, where they are seemingly arbitrary. I think it's called predicament play.

I have never heard of this before and I am fascinated.

I would love to hear some examples of this.

Is predicament play something that would be done in a scene?

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Post #: 27

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 4:27:54 PM

lonewolf05

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ole pa always said.......ALL is fair in love or war......the rules are, there ARE no rules....

esp in a street game......gawd i miss being a kid.......

wolf

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Post #: 28

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 5:06:40 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou
I have never heard of this before and I am fascinated.

I would love to hear some examples of this.

Is predicament play something that would be done in a scene?

Oh gosh it's awesome, whether it's the Owner asking which part of my body I want him to hurt next, giving an answer and then having him say "So you DO want me to hurt you?" or putting someone in a typical catch-22 situation...these scenes can be great mind fucks.

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Post #: 29

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 5:22:39 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

i think that it can depend on the people involved and in the situation. There are times that i make the rules (i'm a single mom, an office manager, church teacher, et nausum), and i'm expected to not only make the rules but enforce them, etc.

In my role with a Dominant, however, i don't want to be the rule maker or enforcer..that's a huge part of what i'd like one day to find. i'm a mature, responsible adult who doesn't require, or want, micro management, but..structure, discipline, focus are all things i miss having in my life.

warm regards,
jimini

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Post #: 30

RE: rules, structure, need, enjoyment - 7/16/2005 10:29:43 PM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
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I've seen as many alleged 'submissives" making rules for Dominants they have not even MET yet,as there are Doms making rules and crafting structure.

You really wonder at times exactly who ends up wearing that collar.. I prefer someone follows MY creations,rather than the other way around-it makes me MUCH happier that way.