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Learning Curve when letting someone else control orgasm? - 9/10/2007 3:51:19 PM   
fungasm


Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline 		This is for those who have turned their orgasms over to someone else- they have put themselves in the hands of another..

How long did it take you to give up that control?

Alison

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"Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that's not the reason we're doing it." (Richard Feynman)

Blog: http://antidomme.sensualwriter.com
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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 3:53:35 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		It took Angel about 3 months to get really used to the idea of my controlling his orgasms. He knew better than to touch, but the temptation was there and still is.  However, now he is learning the control to wait (more often thannot.. he is only human so it still has slipups) until I say he can.

DV


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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

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VampiresLair

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 4:20:03 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		The day he told me they belonged to him and I would no longer have one without his permission, was the day I stopped having them on my own.


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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 4:27:18 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		giving up that control took nothing for me because i can't orgasm solo in the first place.

(in reply to fungasm)
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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 4:27:40 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		Sir requires ownership of my orgasms.  its NOT always easy for me, because i have a really easy time being ready to climax, and i have no issue with multiples, either.

we've been together roughly 6 months now, and i've only slipped up twice...the first time, it was the first time we were together, and he scolded me, as we'd talked about it before and i knew what was expected of me.  the second time....we'd not seen each other in almost a month and i could not hold back till he gave permission.  he forgave me, and said "it'd been too long since we were together, and I am just THAT good!"  (well, he is!)   

its hard for me to hold back...but its worth it for the look of pride on his face when i do.

kitten

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 7:44:57 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		Who knows or remembers how long it tool  What I do know is that we were in it together.   Trying together.  One of the things I like about him is that he can want something. work towards it, push hard for it and yet be unattached to the outcome.  He's in it for the long haul and the journey is just as good.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 7:47:19 PM   
Thorns82


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline 		Could anyone point out some good resources for learning how to do this?  Now that I ask for permission to orgasm, it's became very hard for me to reach climax at all.

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 7:55:09 PM   
curvyslavegirl


Posts: 134
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		The one thing I am always weary of is when I hear "you will come on command".
The reality is that you can learn to hold back your orgasm through a variety of techniques, but you can NOT learn to create an orgasm on command.
Phisiologically it doesn't work that way, it is a nice fantasy though.

How long it takes to hold it back depends alot on your physiology


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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 8:34:11 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Hi curvy,

sorry, you're flat wrong.  I've had the opportunity to teach and enjoy the benefits of orgasming on command on three different women.  You're welcome to read some of the details here if you like.

For fungasm, I've found that it depends a great deal on your approach, and the willingness to surrender on the submissive's part.  How easily they orgasms in the first place also has a huge impact; someone who doesn't easily orgasm first needs to be able to learn techniques to do so, before they can be easily controlled.

Stephan


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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 8:53:30 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I didn't like it, but I did so as soon as I was told.  I kind of put it in the back of my head, like when I don't want to eat a certain kind of food or something like that.

however, he and I get to be together fairly frequently.  it probably wouldn't be as easy if that weren't the case.

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 9:32:20 PM   
destinykitty


Posts: 33
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline 		I am not allowed to orgasism without Masters permission. Am not allowed to even touch there without permission. I never really had a problem with this but I am one of thsoe people that is happy with sex once a month.


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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 10:06:03 PM   
twistedkytten


Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		curvy- with respect, I have to say that you are not correct.

I cannot say how long it took.. i just know.. how it is now... I cannot orgasm without His permission..I can get very close on my own but cannot achieve that release. I have to actually hear Him give the command... I love that He has that level of control as He says, I am His completely. However sometimes when I am really horny and want.. I have problems begging if it is not something He initiated

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/10/2007 10:48:11 PM   
subjected2006


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline 		 Cumming on command..just like Pavlovs bitches.. it works..it's training,,,not just a "compliance " on my  part.
Is it a missnomer that a sub can just "bamm" and here's an orgasm!! 
It's not possible for me..yet.
But damn close..the sequence of events,sometimes skipping steps,the level of intensitysometimes it can happen extremly quickly,and then the certain words  used..strikes my clit like a flint..I'm  cumming.
And I have actually tried to stop the progression,without success.
Ever notice how bad something hurts AFTER you cum?LOL
And as for  getting to that much loved edge..and rolling around on that..with out falling into an orgasm,for me,it was  made possible by training too.
I would have to say that's my second favorite high ever.
I am honestly unable to orgasm without permission.
I can't prove this to anyone who doubts it.
But I sincerely hope  they get to know the joy that that power brings.
IMHO,The only thing more "freeing" is humiliation.
That's my favorite high.
hugs..



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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/11/2007 12:03:06 AM   
MstrSkyWoIf


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curvyslavegirl

The one thing I am always weary of is when I hear "you will come on command".
The reality is that you can learn to hold back your orgasm through a variety of techniques, but you can NOT learn to create an orgasm on command.
Physiologically it doesn't work that way, it is a nice fantasy though.

How long it takes to hold it back depends a lot on your physiology


I am sure if you believe it is not possible you never will achieve this but I must disagree with you that it is impossible. The mind is a very powerful sex organ and can be trained to cause any physiological reaction you desire in the body. It takes a very deep connection with the sub/slave but I have not only trained several submissives to do just this but I am able to train them to the point it is a one word command in a certain tone of voice with instant results.

< Message edited by MstrSkyWoIf -- 9/11/2007 12:08:09 AM >

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this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/11/2007 12:23:18 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curvyslavegirl

The one thing I am always weary of is when I hear "you will come on command".
The reality is that you can learn to hold back your orgasm through a variety of techniques, but you can NOT learn to create an orgasm on command.
Phisiologically it doesn't work that way, it is a nice fantasy though.

How long it takes to hold it back depends alot on your physiology




it does and i can...out of the blue...with no stimulation...mental or physical...


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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/11/2007 12:26:38 AM   
curvyslavegirl


Posts: 134
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Then you need to be observed by science because I've been studying the physiology of orgasms for years and it just doesn't work that way. Phisiologically speaking if the body doesn't go through an excitation change with all of the chemical/hormonal changes alongside it, it isn't really an orgasm. You can learn to postpone it, sit in plateau phase for extended periods of time or even possible speed it up slightly, but the instant orgasm is a myth. Find me one peer reviewed human sexuality study that shows anything different.




< Message edited by curvyslavegirl -- 9/11/2007 12:37:15 AM >

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/11/2007 12:46:31 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I'm glad that at last someone has come out and said it (curvyslavegirl). I'm not a scientist so I never spoke up, but I've never seen a *real* orgasm had on command instantaneously either. The people I've watched do it, which I admit is not very many, were obviously excited and maybe had convinced themselves they were having an orgasm, but it didn't look like the real thing to me either.

(in reply to curvyslavegirl)
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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/11/2007 2:05:35 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		About thirty seconds after my ex-Dom explained he wanted to try this, hehe. I wanted to try it for so long, and when we finally did it for the first time (w/me as the submisive), it took no time for me to "get the hang of it". I'd also read about it. But I really, really enjoy doing this, whether as a submissive or a Domme (I am a Switch).

P.S. I differentiate someone coming on command, with someone telling me generally: "Okay, you can come now" (which to me means, anytime now - not necessarily this very second). I have never learned to "come on command", or with just a voice signal, or anything like that. But I have had someone control my orgasms, as far as telling me if or when I could come. 

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/11/2007 2:09:33 AM >

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That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/11/2007 3:22:26 AM   
MstrSkyWoIf


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curvyslavegirl

Then you need to be observed by science because I've been studying the physiology of orgasms for years and it just doesn't work that way. Physiologically speaking if the body doesn't go through an excitation change with all of the chemical/hormonal changes alongside it, it isn't really an orgasm. You can learn to postpone it, sit in plateau phase for extended periods of time or even possible speed it up slightly, but the instant orgasm is a myth. Find me one peer reviewed human sexuality study that shows anything different.





You yourself answered your own question " chemical/hormonal changes alongside it" if you are talking to your Dom and feel totally connected to him you are already in this state so the command to cum can and does work....

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to curvyslavegirl)
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RE: Learning Curve when letting someone else control or... - 9/11/2007 3:43:36 AM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curvyslavegirl
Then you need to be observed by science because I've been studying the physiology of orgasms for years and it just doesn't work that way. Phisiologically speaking if the body doesn't go through an excitation change with all of the chemical/hormonal changes alongside it, it isn't really an orgasm. You can learn to postpone it, sit in plateau phase for extended periods of time or even possible speed it up slightly, but the instant orgasm is a myth. Find me one peer reviewed human sexuality study that shows anything different.


I can't orgasm "cold" with just the command... but I can be talked into one with no touching.  What makes this possible (in my experience, YMMV) is what is going on inside your head, and abandoning your own need for control. 

I had a hard time with learning to come on command because I was trying to will it to happen.  Once I quit trying, then the command orgasm became possible... but always there is some workup.  It can be some hot, steamy talk. It can be my Lady's hands in my hair, pulling my head back, then her whispering against my lips right before she kisses me, "Come for me!"

The memory of past orgasms is probably a key ingredient... if I am really worked up I can have a very intense orgasm, but with less workup it's much less of a bang, though still very nice.

My Lady started this by requiring me to NOT come without asking for, and receiving, her permission. And that is such a delightful tease going on... to be so close and having to struggle to not go past the brink. It just seems to make the final orgasm when commanded so much more intense.  Then for a couple of weeks she brought me up to the edge of orgasm, then back down repeatedly before letting me come, and often sent me to bed utterly aroused but not letting me have the orgasm. And I had some mind-blowing, wake-you-up-screaming erotic dreams with that.

Mmmm! (fans self) Think it's time to see if my Lady needs a cup of coffee!

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