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Punishments - 9/10/2007 9:47:02 PM

plspickme

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How does Your Master punish you when you have displeased him or disobeyed him? Is it a fair punishment and do you believe that he loves you and that;s why you are being punished or do you just think it;s abuse?

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RE: Punishments - 9/10/2007 10:03:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme
How does Your Master punish you when you have displeased him or disobeyed him? Is it a fair punishment and do you believe that he loves you and that;s why you are being punished or do you just think it;s abuse?

The two most common punishments are "being ignored/withdrawal" and "knowing I've disappointed."

They also tend to be fairly ineffective when actual behavior modification is necessary.

If I thought punishment was abuse, we'd have bigger problems than punishment at the moment.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_800482/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#800522
Punishment and how you choose to apply it

http://www.collarchat.com/m_611292/mpage_2/key_punishment/tm.htm#611778
Punishment is Deceptive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_597685/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#597689
Talking Vs Corporal Punishment

http://www.collarchat.com/m_572243/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#572280
Question for female subs on punishment

http://www.collarchat.com/m_18608/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#18608
Punishment and Discipline

http://www.collarchat.com/m_74162/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#74162
Training? Punishment?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_84734/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#84734
Punishment vs Play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_146151/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#146151
What is the difference between punishment and discipline?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_374557/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#374557
Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc, etc....

http://www.collarchat.com/m_523257/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#523257
Discipline & Punishment

http://www.collarchat.com/m_495126/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#495126
On punishment

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 3:19:37 AM

goodpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The two most common punishments are "being ignored/withdrawal" and "knowing I've disappointed."

They also tend to be fairly ineffective when actual behavior modification is necessary.

If I thought punishment was abuse, we'd have bigger problems than punishment at the moment.

Once again, i think LA hit it on the head with her comments..

i would add that perhaps many think corporal punishment is the first place to go to.. While a quick swat works for that instant reminder, physical punishments are usually not great behavior modifiers..

It can be hard to find things that actually punish. Mostly folks look for what will be a reminder and emphasize the importance.

My most “creative’ punishment was during my 9 weeks for formal slave training..
Seems i left the toilet seat down.,, (once again after a warning… )
So i had to use a bin for 24 hours. Not a problem really, easy to pee and rinse.. no so bad i think,,,
Next evening Sir said it was time to start a new part of the training.. i think we are heading down to the dungeon.. but no.. upstairs to the master bed room.. ???? Hmm… maybe personal service training..
then he tells me.. We are to start ENEMA training…
Gosh darn it.. i only had 2 hours left on the bin time.. and had only pee so far…

i learned-
to not leave the toilet seat down..
to not try to out smart the punishment
that the trainer was just evil

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 6:35:38 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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I rarely get punished so when I do yes I think its fair. Whatever the punishment is it is never a physical one. If I have done something wrong that we have established as a rule then I deserve punishment. There are consequences to every action. I always knows he loves me, being punished for wrongdoing has nothing to do with loving someone or not. More so if he didn't care then he would let me get away with things.

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 6:48:54 AM

servantheart

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
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A major punishment for me is getting the belt on my bare ass. Minor punishments have included essay writing and not being allowed to drink coca-cola for a specific period of time. I feel that Master is very fair with me (well, except for the "no cokes"...that one is cruel and unusual punishment

).

Taryn

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When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 6:58:13 AM

RRafe

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Joined: 8/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The two most common punishments are "being ignored/withdrawal" and "knowing I've disappointed."

They also tend to be fairly ineffective when actual behavior modification is necessary.

If I thought punishment was abuse, we'd have bigger problems than punishment at the moment.

Once again, i think LA hit it on the head with her comments..

i would add that perhaps many think corporal punishment is the first place to go to.. While a quick swat works for that instant reminder, physical punishments are usually not great behavior modifiers..

It can be hard to find things that actually punish. Mostly folks look for what will be a reminder and emphasize the importance.

My most “creative’ punishment was during my 9 weeks for formal slave training..
Seems i left the toilet seat down.,, (once again after a warning… )
So i had to use a bin for 24 hours. Not a problem really, easy to pee and rinse.. no so bad i think,,,
Next evening Sir said it was time to start a new part of the training.. i think we are heading down to the dungeon.. but no.. upstairs to the master bed room.. ???? Hmm… maybe personal service training..
then he tells me.. We are to start ENEMA training…
Gosh darn it.. i only had 2 hours left on the bin time.. and had only pee so far…

i learned-
to not leave the toilet seat down..
to not try to out smart the punishment
that the trainer was just evil

Hey, he was nice. He could have done the whole routine.......and subsituted diapers for the bin.

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 7:07:42 AM

arayofsunshine55

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He doesn't. We don't do punishment. At all.

If he's disappointed or I have somehow not met the mark we talk about it and we learn and adjust together. Maybe his expectation changes. Myabe he understands my challenge more. Or some other thing. For me that is the only effective way to change something. What we both understand is that I am always doing the best I can. And if I fall short there's a reason.

This has worked well for us for 3 years.

< Message edited by arayofsunshine55 -- 9/11/2007 7:11:09 AM >

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 7:08:27 AM

littleone35

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In the 19 months we have been together i have only been punished twice (had a few displines though). He will only punish me if i "earned" it and the two i got i earned. He ususlly uses spankings since i don't like pain it is effective. He does not like to cause me pain but if i disobey him he will admisister a spanking that stings.. It is not abuse it is for something i did or did not do. I also get aftercare so it is in no way shape or form abuse.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 8:25:42 AM

angelicsubbie

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W/we are still working on this...i would really like to find something that is effective, but not too upsetting. My first punishment (or discipline; they're basically the same in my head) i got i was upset for about 2 weeks after, and didn't want to be around him; which i know was in no way the intention. He has used corner time and spankings, as well as of course talking, and him being dissapointed in me. i beat myself up over things much more than he ever could, and he knows that. Two nights he originally said he wouldn't punish me, because he knew i was upset and feeling guilty for something, but i couldn't get the words out. We talked about it, and he said it was over, done with, forgiven, but of course it stayed in my mind, and i brought it up several more times. He asked if a spanking would help me get it out of my mind and forgive myself, we did lots more talking, and the hardest spanking i've gotten to date. But in the end, i haven't beat mysel up over it as i have in the past. We're still playing around, trying to figure out what will best work. i would really like to find something, so that he can help motivate me to be the best, with something that's aversive, but i don't continue to feel bad about...what that is i'm not sure yet; any suggestions are more than welcome

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 8:28:24 AM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelicsubbie

W/we are still working on this...i would really like to find something that is effective, but not too upsetting. My first punishment (or discipline; they're basically the same in my head) i got i was upset for about 2 weeks after, and didn't want to be around him; which i know was in no way the intention. He has used corner time and spankings, as well as of course talking, and him being dissapointed in me. i beat myself up over things much more than he ever could, and he knows that. Two nights he originally said he wouldn't punish me, because he knew i was upset and feeling guilty for something, but i couldn't get the words out. We talked about it, and he said it was over, done with, forgiven, but of course it stayed in my mind, and i brought it up several more times. He asked if a spanking would help me get it out of my mind and forgive myself, we did lots more talking, and the hardest spanking i've gotten to date. But in the end, i haven't beat mysel up over it as i have in the past. We're still playing around, trying to figure out what will best work. i would really like to find something, so that he can help motivate me to be the best, with something that's aversive, but i don't continue to feel bad about...what that is i'm not sure yet; any suggestions are more than welcome

Guilt is a tough one. Corporal usually doesn't work to help it. I will usually use atonement through work and meditation instead.

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 9:09:20 AM

daddysprop247

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From: DC Metro area
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most punishments in this household are physical...this is very effective for me because i strongly dislike pain and have a pretty low pain threshold. it also works for my Master because it allows him a means to vent any frustration or anger brought about by my mistake or misbehavior. physical punishments vary, from something mild like a firm spanking to something more severe like an out and out beating with fists, belt and feet. then there are many times when i might make a small mistake and he will physically discipline me...a firm slap across the face would be an example of this. this is different from punishment.

there are non-physical punishments, usually reserved for the most severe of offenses...temporary abandonment/isolation being the most severe, and thankfully that is a punishment i have only received once. but even if the greater part of the punishment is non-physical, there is almost always some physical pain thrown in, for his own release if nothing else.

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 12:03:53 PM

lovingdomwanted

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For me it was a visit to his garage and six very hard with....2 paddles, one of wood and the other leather, one after the other....Then a hard leg slapping, then time-out....Which lasted 2 hours......Should have be half hour but I came down from the bedroom too soon and I got lashed again.....But with the belt and cane,,,,,I leant my lesson....

xxxx

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 12:08:34 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme

How does Your Master punish you when you have displeased him or disobeyed him?

Depends on what it is. 9 times out of 10 we just talk about it. Sometimes I go stand in a corner. Sometimes I write out grammar rules.

quote:

Is it a fair punishment and do you believe that he loves you and that;s why you are being punished

I know he loves me or I wouldn't stick around. However, he does not punish me because he loves me, he punishes me because it's the dynamic we agreed to.

quote:

or do you just think it;s abuse?

With few exceptions corporal punishment is not used in our house.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 1:19:48 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme

How does Your Master punish you when you have displeased him or disobeyed him? Is it a fair punishment and do you believe that he loves you and that;s why you are being punished or do you just think it;s abuse?

I've rarely been punished but on those occasions, I was caned. I didn't think it was unfair; I was told why I was being punished and knew that I had behaved badly. It wasn't an unexpected outcome. It was painful, severe, done, dusted and OVER.

I have no idea if he loves me. Punishment is a consequence of certain undesirable behaviour, not only to him, but to me also. It's not a measure of love.

Never, ever, in any way have I felt abused.

angelicsubbie mentioned guilt: Guilt, for me, isn't totally wiped out. It does, however, bring closure to the incident. It means that a line is drawn under it as far as the *WE part* is concerned. I appreciate that fact, and any continued mental machinations are just *too bad* for me. If I don't want to feel like shit, I ought to avoid doing the things that make me feel like shit.

agirl

< Message edited by agirl -- 9/11/2007 1:22:19 PM >

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 1:24:42 PM

Celeste43

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We don't. We talk it out. Mainly things have been due to miscommunication and we discover this once we give our emotions time to calm down.

As far as making a mistake once and only once, he knows that changing old habits is hard and I get a learning curve. If I still have trouble, he'll find a different way to teach me or correct the problem.

And if he believed that I ought to be punished and I thought I didn't, that would only teach me that I was right to keep thinking the way I did, that if we couldn't talk it out, then attempting to beat me into submission would instead make me withdraw it.

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 6:13:36 PM

SubJordanTyler

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I've only really received one hard punishment - and that was from disappointment from my Mistress. I wasn't able to open up anally at a public play for some reason - and everyone knew that was my role with her. It looked to others that she hadn't trained me well like she claimed she had - which wasn't true. It was the only time that's ever happened to me - but it was embarrassing for her. So she punished me - and hard.

I was tied down, gagged, roughed up anally and then had a buttplug covered with Icy Hot inserted into my rectum. It burned like crazy and I just screamed through it the entire time. I was crying from the pain, but she wouldn't remove it until she thought I had learned my lesson. Even when she removed it, I was dragged into the closet and locked in it for a few hours with the burning sensation still inside me.

Believe me............I learned my lesson quick!! But I deserved it - yes.

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 6:16:43 PM

YourhandMyAss

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To me personally I do not ever think not being able to function, for lack of better word is reason for punishment,and I don't care if she's embarrased, shit happens sometimes, that's beyond our controll.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubJordanTyler

I've only really received one hard punishment - and that was from disappointment from my Mistress. I wasn't able to open up anally at a public play for some reason - and everyone knew that was my role with her. It looked to others that she hadn't trained me well like she claimed she had - which wasn't true. It was the only time that's ever happened to me - but it was embarrassing for her. So she punished me - and hard.

Believe me............I learned my lesson quick!! But I deserved it - yes.

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 10:24:07 PM

chiaThePet

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"Words" cut to the chase and the heart.

Then the healing begins.

chia* (the pet)

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Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: Punishments - 9/11/2007 11:00:47 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme

How does Your Master punish you when you have displeased him or disobeyed him? Is it a fair punishment and do you believe that he loves you and that;s why you are being punished or do you just think it;s abuse?

i don't disobey, but i do things which are thoughtless on occasion and depending on what it was, the punishment will be appropriate to the crime, be geared to cause me to reflect on my thoughtlessness and be something which will usually take just once to correct. i'm a fast learner.

if he did something differently from what has always been his pattern, that's his choice and i'd accept that as well. fair doesn't enter into it. if he wants me to learn, he'll speak a language i know. (thanks owned!) he tells me he loves me, he shows me he loves me.. i feel loved but i don't believe that has anything to do with why he punishes me on the rare occasions i deserve it. punishment is done simply to modify behavior he finds unacceptable.

celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Punishments - 9/12/2007 12:08:49 AM

ownedgirlie

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There was a time when corporal punishment seemed to be the only language I could understand (you're welcome, Bita

). Leftovers from my upbringing, I suppose. It was also the only way I could end the guilt I felt. In retrospect, they really weren't very hard and just served to jolt me into understanding how serious he is about his slave respecting him. I can think of one "spanking" type of punishment which was really rough, and I came to learn that he hated giving them as much as I hated receiving them.

My punishments were usually not because of disobedience, as other than two errors (one small, one big), I have not blatantly disobeyed. My punishments were due to what I used to call my "demon attacks." - you know, those lies that would come into my head and tell me this was all a big ploy, and he really didn't care about me...and then I swear they'd possess me and I would lash out. These were the result of some very bad experiences in my life, which left me convinced I could never have value and anyone telling me I did must be lying. I would get myself into hot water every time, by blurting out something I should not have, or throwing accusations at him. Totally disrespectful and inappropriate. This would happen every few months or so. They stopped about a year ago.

Simply talking did not solve it. I needed to dig deep and find out what was causing these "attacks." I also needed to understand just how inappropriate my behavior was, and pay a consequence for it. Yes, we would talk - a lot. I would always have an essay (or two, or three...) to write. Sometimes priviledges would be removed. Sometimes other rather severe corporal methods were used (not of the spanking kind), which were very hard on me. Twice I had to write 500 sentences, and the sentences each time were specific to my place as his slave. To this day these sentences are not only relevant to me, but comforting to me, and have become a mantra for me that settles my spirit at the end of each day.

Fairness does not factor into it. It is not up to me to determine what he thinks is fair. There has been a time or two when he has punished for something I thought I could not have helped. He chose for me to be punished for it, and I received it without protesting it. I found a lesson in it and grew from it. I didn't die for being punished "unfairly." My bond with him didn't suffer for it. Either he had a reason for it, or he erred. I can live with either.

Love does not factor into it, either. He punished me before he ever loved me. But it was always explained to me that my place with him was still secure (except one time when it actually wasn't, but that's a different story). I haven't upset him in a very long time. If I were to upset him again, I would feel worse, not only for upsetting him but for causing him to do something he hates, which is to punish me harshly.

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