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Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 12:50:04 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I'm rather greedy with mine, but see other doms continually share their subs with their peers. Maybe I'm too Alpha Male? How many of you enjoy watching your slave get off by other Doms? Am I missing something or am I just too attached to my slave to want to share?
Just curious as to the mindset here.
Thanks guy...and gals!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 12:54:00 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Likely you're monogamous and possessive, which is fine since a lot of women want that.

I'm poly and prefer showing off. I love seeing one of my boys please someone else or being pleased.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 1:38:57 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I hope it's contagious....I want that trait!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 2:25:27 PM   
unholyruler


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/11/2005
Status: offline 		I absolutley love to share my subs with other Doms. To me, it's the ultimate in submission on her part.

Now having said that, I need to know my sub well and be secure where things stand . If we are happy and content with each other, I have no reason to be insecure. It's her heart and mind that I will not share.

_____________________________

Has someone taken your faith
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must, confess

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 2:45:14 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe you just happen to care a little bit more about your sub than other's do?

I don't see it as jealous. You want what is your's to stay yours. Nothing wrong with that.


(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 4:37:22 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Gloria, I think you hit the nail on the head, however, unholyruler realize's that he will always have his subs heart and mind, even if he allows her to share her body. I understand that philosophy and it is in strict keeping with BDSM lifestyle, but I'm just not there yet.
Thank you both!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 4:40:53 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I understand that philosophy and it is in strict keeping with BDSM lifestyle, but I'm just not there yet.


The philosophy of the lifestyle is what you make of it. You don't have to share if you don't want to.
My dom does not share...however. If I watch someone playing..there are times I will ask him if I can play with that person to experience this or that.
He has never said no yet.
Would you allow your sub to play? If it were a task you did not know how to do and she wanted to try it?

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 4:52:55 PM   
subcheryl


Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
Status: offline 		My Master doesn't share and neither do I want to be shared. I do not feel it is required to share your slave/sub with anyone. your way of doing things is your way of doing it. To me you run the risk of loosing the heart of your sub/slave to someone else, or her wanting to be exclusive to you and feeling as if you don't care enough to keep her solely to yourself and to me that is one of the aspects of the nurturing and care of one in your charge. But that is my opinion, sure others see it differently.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 4:59:23 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		subcheryl, that is how I feel too.
However, to answer Gloria's question, I would say yes. If my sub was interested in a partciular scene or style of play, to deny her would only be selfish on my part. I think there is a difference in that environment and the one that subcheryl and I agree upon.


_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to subcheryl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 5:11:45 PM   
Niran


Posts: 70
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		I failed "share and play nicely with others" in Kindergarten. Still holds true. I dont see myself ever sharing e, unless I knew that was a desire of his.


Niran

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 5:23:53 PM   
unholyruler


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/11/2005
Status: offline 		As with most D/s situations although I love ultimate control, if my sub hated to be shared I would get no satisfaction from it. As it stands, it's one of her favorites fantasies. I haven't shared my current sub but have shared others. My current sub is eager to experience other guys in front of me and as such, we turn each other on.

I've often said, though, that being the third wheel in a threesome does little for me. I much prefer to have an emotional conection with someone and whatch her face of ecstasy knowing I'm the one that allowed her to have it.. and of course I would remind her constantly of that fact...

_____________________________

Has someone taken your faith
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must, confess

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 6:11:52 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I see your point and your satisfaction with that situation. I get it and could get there too, with the right sub and the right environment....maybe?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to unholyruler)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 10:42:14 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Maybe you just happen to care a little bit more about your sub than other's do?

Which implies that a) the Owner doesn't care about me as much and b) that I don't care about my boyfriend of partners as much as monogamous/limited/closed relationships do.

This of course is absolutely false.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/15/2005 11:51:06 PM   
Tormentius


Posts: 71
Status: offline 		Personally, I don't share well but to each their own *shrug*.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/16/2005 5:05:42 AM   
lovingmaster45


Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Which implies that a) the Owner doesn't care about me as much and b) that I don't care about my boyfriend of partners as much as monogamous/limited/closed relationships do.

This of course is absolutely false.


But Emerald this is hard for a lot of people to handle; especially those who are still hung up with all the religious crap that was force fed them when they were young.

I once had an uncle who said "Pussy is a wonderful thing. A woman can sell it, rent it, give it away; but in the end she still has plenty left over."

I never really understood his philosophy until I got into the lifestyle and saw how much fun it was to watch my subs with others when it was "their thing" and how much I enjoyed forcing them into it when it was NOT their thing....lol.

I know I am totally perverted; but I enjoy it this way. I am upfront with all potential ones that I am poly and that once I think they are ready, they will be serving others under my direction.

_____________________________

Master Jerry


(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/16/2005 5:44:53 AM   
junkyard


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
Which implies that a) the Owner doesn't care about me as much and b) that I don't care about my boyfriend of partners as much as monogamous/limited/closed relationships do.

This of course is absolutely false.


I am really not trying to pick fights with you EmeraldSlave2, really and truly...

But c'mon - you are 25-27 years old. You dispense youthful opinions AS IF they were wisdom, which is probably something I was guilty of when I was 25 too. But time, the only real teacher and the only real way to gain wisdom, tells me you don't know as much as you think you know. How do I know that? Because in some ways I would assert that I know even less than what you might claim to know. I am so wise that I have come to realize that I don't know very much, and when people tell me what they know I am very suspicious of their assertions. And when I was 25 I thought poly and a bunch of other stuff was brilliant too. The universe centered on me and my desires and I saw that it was wise enough to account for the likes of me.

Not bloody likely...

When I was 25 I very much doubt I understood what love was - much less understand the greater social ramifications of the emotion. You will just be stunned to look back upon these formative years and realize how little you understood when you are 30 or 35 or even 40 or 45. I can tell you this, and you will think I am just lording my 15 years senority on you - but honestly, no. It's not like that at all. And be grateful that you are a woman, because it culturally puts you at a minimum 5 years maturity advantage on the guys. Well, on average that is...

What I would like to say as gently as possible is that you don't know what the fuck you are talking about, but you are too smart to even know that yet. You think you have the answers, while I would suggest that you haven't even figured out the right questions yet.

Human beings are generally serial monogamists - not quite poly, but getting there maybe. We know this through study - through physical and cultural anthropology. I have several years on you EmeraldSlave2, and in that time I have seen almost every poly relationship around me turn to shit, and far worse than mere shit - I have seen some of them turn into the most awful, horrifying disasters you have ever seen. I say *almost* because there are people that can make poly work - a very few, but most cannot - and they have some great rationalizations for when it doesn't work too. Very nice and tidy. Longer term I see monogamist couples have a far greater success rate, as in the multiple 100%s type of greater success. Vastly greater success. After a lapse of 20-50 years there will still be plenty of very solid monogamist couples around, and nary a poly combo still around to be seen. You might now claim that you don't measure poly's success in years - but then what is your basis for comparison and how does it serve the poly union in staying together? Or is the whole point just to get your kicks?

Poly is a great idea that I find very attractive. I think it has many advantages over traditional relationships - mostly if people can make their unions work longer term, which on average I observe that they can't, so it's a washout. It is a further observation that many people that try to make it work have many other motivations at play than actually just trying to make it work - in fact, I am jaded enough to claim with some certainty that many can't make it work, they know that fact, but use poly as an excuse to get what they want anyway. There is zero downside to claiming to be poly even though you have no discernable success rate. And in the BDSM scene - poly, bisexuality, and switching are very much the rage and have been for a long time. But on the other side of things, the more traditional side of things, there's a reason as to why *most* people do some things a particular way. The reason is simple: higher success rate.

I'm not much of a believer, but the following words have the ring of wisdom to my ears:
""A person cannot mount two horses or bend two bows. And a slave cannot serve two masters, otherwise that slave will honor the one and offend the other." - The Gospel of Thomas, from the Nag Hammadi Library

Anyway, if poly works for you - that's great! I wish you well. My unsolicited advice: travel light and keep your bags packed.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/16/2005 6:02:41 AM   
junkyard


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45
I know I am totally perverted; but I enjoy it this way. I am upfront with all potential ones that I am poly and that once I think they are ready, they will be serving others under my direction.


With your indulgent cooperation Master Jerry, some questions:

1. How long have you been poly?
2. How long is your longest poly relationship? And is it ongoing?
3. If there are other secondary relationships to a primary relationship, how many are there and for how long have they each been going?
4. Do you have regular relations (sexual or BDSM related) with all of your partners? If so, could you provide some numbers in terms of weekly frequency of relations?
5. If your criteria for poly success is clearly different than what is suggested by the above, what is your criteria?
6. If you find the foregoing questions loaded or skewed in some way, could you offer similar alternative questions restated in such a way as to allow for a more objective discussion of the issues at stake.

Thanks in advance.

(in reply to lovingmaster45)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/16/2005 7:37:48 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: junkyard
not trying to pick fights with you EmeraldSlave2, really and truly...

But c'mon - you are 25-27 years old.

I am 25.

quote:

You dispense youthful opinions AS IF they were wisdom, which is probably something I was guilty of when I was 25 too. But time, the only real teacher and the only real way to gain wisdom, tells me you don't know as much as you think you know. How do I know that? Because in some ways I would assert that I know even less than what you might claim to know. I am so wise that I have come to realize that I don't know very much, and when people tell me what they know I am very suspicious of their assertions.

I've stated this before on this list, but is there ever a point anyone can be proud and simply SAY I know some stuff and I'm going to say it, please also tell me where you think I'm wrong and we can engage in intellectual intercourse?

The whole idea that you can't know anything when you're young, and you know this because when you get older you realize you don't know much of anything, then or now...when exactly does anyone know anything????

quote:

You think you have the answers, while I would suggest that you haven't even figured out the right questions yet.

Let's just say, I know I have the answers that work for me as who I am now, and I completely expect lots of change in those answers as I become who I will be.

And also- people have been saying what you are saying since I was 18 and got into the scene, that I really don't know shit and need to just be quiet and sit in the back seat. I long for that one magical age when someone finally tells me I'm old enough to form a real opinion about myself! :)

Of course, at almost 7 yrears rt active experience in the scene, I tend to have a lot more to go on in these forums than many middle agers.

quote:

You might now claim that you don't measure poly's success in years - but then what is your basis for comparison and how does it serve the poly union in staying together? Or is the whole point just to get your kicks?

Well you can check out my posts on the poly board for more specific information, but the Owner has been with his two oldest partners for over a decade now, he's been with his Boston sub for over 3 years and with me for over a year.

I've been in poly relationships since I was 18. They didn't all work out permanently obviously, but I simply am poly in orientation, and I know I'm good at it.

quote:


I'm not much of a believer, but the following words have the ring of wisdom to my ears:
""A person cannot mount two horses or bend two bows. And a slave cannot serve two masters, otherwise that slave will honor the one and offend the other." - The Gospel of Thomas, from the Nag Hammadi Library

Check out the poly boards, we actually have a few regular posters who have mutliple dominants/owners.
quote:


Anyway, if poly works for you - that's great! I wish you well. My unsolicited advice: travel light and keep your bags packed.


Stick around, never know what's gonna happen.

(in reply to junkyard)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/16/2005 10:22:58 AM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Oh what a tangled web. Being poly has given me a different view of this lifestyle than when I was mono. It was with great issue on my part that I first gave into the idea that one who I owned could even perform for someone other than me. But upon reflection, it was the best decision I could have made. It opened me up to the fact that I didn't need to fear any type of loss or deminished respect or emotion from my slaves. In fact it broadened their horizons and mine as well. I consider it a matter of pushing ones limits within reason in the sane and safe mode. Believe me when I say I'm a much happier Master for allowing this part of the life to do that much for my slaves and myself. Don't mistake me and think this is a regular activity, but when it does happen, I allow as much as pleases me and my slaves.

(in reply to lovingmaster45)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sharing slaves - 7/16/2005 10:35:28 AM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		In relpy to Junkyard. Part of what you say is very true. The longer you live within the lifestyle the less you realize you know about it. But when it comes to poly, remember this, there are exceptions to every rule. I for one have been in a poly relationship for over 6 yrs now and let's just say, it works for me. Like any other family there are good days and bad, but bottom line is with open and honest talk about how we feel on any given situation that doesn't feel right, we have continued to grow and thrive.

Fury

(in reply to junkyard)
Profile   Post #: 20
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