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RE: deception - 9/18/2007 6:42:31 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
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I don't accept my partner as he is out of submission. But out of love. And my concept of what that love means. And finding ways to continue to embrace him is what I want. For the long haul. And that for me is an active engaged process. And my hope, belief, is that he does the same with me. Loves me including my warts and some of the not so lovable parts. Nothing IMO to do with D/s. Just love.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: deception - 9/18/2007 7:59:07 PM

julietsierra

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Joined: 9/26/2004
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I've been in the hypothetical situation the OP is talking about, and in my world, love does NOT conquer all.

One of the most important things to me when I was married was the fact that the person I married was someone who had a strong sense of family. The day he told me that our family member with Down Syndrome would never amount to anything, and that my idealistic ideas of education were going to amount to absolutely nothing because she would be absolutely nothing, was the day I realized that the family man I married... was not the family man I married.

I divorced him.

She is 19 now, and to this day, he only tolerates her. Unfortunately she loves him dearly and doesn't understand why he doesn't want her around. I thought we'd be celebrating our 50th anniversary one day. I decided that there was no way I could, in good conscience, stay in that marriage and at the same time, be a good mother.

Sometimes love is NOT the be all end all to things. I don't hate him. Hate is too strong of an emotion to invest in someone who can think like that about his only daugher. But there are just something that love can't overcome.

juliet

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)

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RE: deception - 9/19/2007 1:05:03 AM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
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i am not in a relationship at this time but i was thinking about this sort of thing the other day. to do with friends tho. hope ya dont mind my two cents even tho it is not quite on topic.

one friend of mine during uni days, we worked at the same restaurant. we got along great and i loved hanging around her. then i found out she was scamming the restaurant, had found a way to void off checks and keep the money. i was shocked and i found myself not liking her much anymore. we kinda drifted apart.

another time i was driving down the highway with another friend of mine who i had become close to. she lets me know she loves the republican president at the time, that she voted for him. it was everything in my power not to shout, "stop the truck, let me out, right here at the side of the highway, right now, stop, who are you?" but i didnt. i still have a lot of love for her but we dont see eye to eye on things like i do with some of my other friends.

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RE: deception - 9/19/2007 4:08:17 AM

arayofsunshine55

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From: San Francisco, CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

I hear you. It may be that the OP is so hypothetical it is really difficult to imagine what I'd do with any predictability. But you have lived it. And chose your child. As many of us would. On the other hand, your example would actually be breaking one of my few limits. And that I know would negatively impact our relationship.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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Post #: 24

RE: deception - 9/19/2007 9:12:48 AM

akisha

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Joined: 6/25/2005
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It would totally depend what the secrect was.

If my partner was a different religion or voted differently then I thought: Who cares. Doesn't change who it is I love.

If my parter admitted he was a serial rapist or a pedofile: I'd love the person I knew, but I'd turn him in immediately anyway.

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Post #: 25