What to do about wannabee's and such?

What to do about wannabee's and such? (Full Version)

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azsub1 -> What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:13:26 PM)
It saddens me when i hear about how when a Domme agrees to give a submissive a chance to serve, only to find out that the person isn't into it at all, is just looking for kinky sex, or even just getting off on writing back and forth. This is especially troubling for some such as myself. All too often i hear about how One will give a sissy/male maid a chance, only to find out all they want to do is play dress up. This problem seems fairly common, common enough that there's probably a fair amount of Dommes out there that won't have anything to do with crossdressers or have given up on service slaves. It's the wannabees, the ones who take this stuff lightly or go at it half assed (picture gorilla in pantyhose.) that make things incredibly difficult for those who are sincere. I've been trying to come up with a solution to such behavior and sort the wheat from the chaff, as it were. Now we all know bdsm contracts can't be legally enforced and aren't recognized by any govermental agency as valid. I was thinking, what about community enforcement? What if there was a community registry or group where you could not only list the no-shows and those who misrepresent themselves, but you could look at ahead of time to see if the person who is contacting you is a time waster. Above and beyond that, what if you could register "service agreements" there. The nature and length of the agreement would be spelled out. Community enforcement would come in the form of blacklisting. The length of time blacklisted would be spelled out right in the agreement. If enough people in the community got on board and honored the wishes of the community as well as the agreement entered willingly by two adults, then a submissive who chooses not to honor an agreement would do so with the knowledge that for a period of time, no other dominant would have anything to do with them, and they would have willingly agreed to this penalty ahead of time. Of course once that period of blacklisting was over, the one blacklisted would have to be welcomed back into the fold without contempt or prejudice. They've done their time, paid their debt to the society as it were, and should be welcomed back with open arms. As an example, i enter a 3 month service agreement. The nature and length of the agreement is announced by a mailing, or posting to a board. The agreement states that if broken, i agree to be blacklisted for a year. Now if i break the agreement, and the one who i entered it with posts that it's been broken within the time it is supposed to be in effect, i know i will find it difficult or impossible to find another Domme who will have anything to do with me for the next year. The only one who could lift the blacklisting is the one who announced the agreement as broken, so my only options would be to work it out with them, or suffer through what would be a very long year. Think something like this would work? Any suggestions or improvements to the basic concept? Any thoughts on how to implement such a thing? Would you sign on to such a thing?

RRafe -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:16:21 PM)
Umm, it won't work. Get off the computer and socialize with real people.

mefisto69 -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:21:34 PM)
a taser would be much more efective

MadRabbit -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:33:59 PM)
Sure...and you will be the first person I vote to blacklist! All those in favor, say Aye!

xoxi -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:37:08 PM)
I think it would be an excellent idea to 'review' people who signed up to a site like that. There is a system like that for escorts that is also used to rate pro Dommes. I would assume the problem would come in when it's a he-said, she-said type scenario which is why I don't think anyone should be 'blacklisted' for a year because that's just begging someone to abuse it, but if someone has like 4 negative reviews and 1 positive, while someone else has 8 positive reviews and 1 negative, a person looking for someone would be able to read the reviews and make their own choices.

BeachMystress -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:38:35 PM)
The problem with this is that you can't trust that people would be fair in their judgements. Submissive X doesn't buy Dominant A something they want so they blacklist them. Submissive O isn't willing to give up a negotiated hard limit so Dominant L blacklists them. Your idea would only work if people were honest, impartial and fair. Personally, I'll never trust another's opinion of a submissive unless they're someone I know well enough to have in my home. In the past I've met with subs someone online told me were trash.. and ended up with a wonderful submissive. Just because two people don't fit doesn't mean the submissive half of the couple is fake, phoney or a time waster. There are two people in any attempted relationship and I find that the "dominant" half is at fault in miscommunication as often as the submissive half.

TheIronHorse -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:38:46 PM)
What two people do in private is their own business. Blacklisting can just as easily be used to hurt someone when a relationship ends. Just because two people didnt connect in person doesnt make reason enough to blacklist another....

xoxi -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:42:51 PM)
BeachMystress - excellent point. It would only work if the subs could rate the Dom/mes as well. That way "Sub X had no desire to serve me and didn't even know what the word meant" by Domme A could be right next to "Domme A was only interested in financial servitude and did not say so up front" by Sub X.

MstrSkyWoIf -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:51:29 PM)
It wont work far to many ways to be misused and abused

ArgoGeorgia -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:53:53 PM)
I see any place like this being overtaken by flame war after flame war. It would be a constant "He did this" "No I didn't" etc. You probably couldn't use real names for liability reasons, and it would be awfully easy to simply create a new username for any of the sites. So I guess we're just gonna have to start branding people's foreheads. [sm=evil.gif]

TheIronHorse -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 5:57:35 PM)
The whole online thing is a grab bag of sane, experienced people, flat out lunatics, and everything in between. It should go without saying that everyone be looked at by what they do, not what they say they will do. Online D/s is all fantasy and there is no yardstick for defining online BS. TIH quote: ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia I see any place like this being overtaken by flame war after flame war. It would be a constant "He did this" "No I didn't" etc. You probably couldn't use real names for liability reasons, and it would be awfully easy to simply create a new username for any of the sites. So I guess we're just gonna have to start branding people's foreheads. [sm=evil.gif]

adoracat -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 6:01:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress The problem with this is that you can't trust that people would be fair in their judgements. Submissive X doesn't buy Dominant A something they want so they blacklist them. Submissive O isn't willing to give up a negotiated hard limit so Dominant L blacklists them. Your idea would only work if people were honest, impartial and fair. Personally, I'll never trust another's opinion of a submissive unless they're someone I know well enough to have in my home. In the past I've met with subs someone online told me were trash.. and ended up with a wonderful submissive. Just because two people don't fit doesn't mean the submissive half of the couple is fake, phoney or a time waster. There are two people in any attempted relationship and I find that the "dominant" half is at fault in miscommunication as often as the submissive half. indeed so. i met with several gentlemen from this site before i met Sir...not that they were bad men, or bad dominants, just that they werent a good fit to me. even the one that did end up hurting my feelings, i dont feel badly about him, he just had a lot going on in his life at that time, and it wasnt a good fit. i still wouldnt say anything negative about him. kitten

AquaticSub -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 6:03:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azsub1 Would you sign on to such a thing? No because it will abused by wannabe dommes.

Damocles809 -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 6:04:12 PM)
Sounds like a pretty stupid idea. Unless those involved are such mindless sheep that they can't make their own decisions about those with whom they associate. Which means I expect this to catch on like wildfire in plenty bdsm circles!

MadRabbit -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 6:08:25 PM)
What we really need is to tattoo dominants with a bar code. Then everything they try and log to a site or create a new username, they have to scan the bar code. You can purchase a Pocket Dom Scanner and scan them in public when you first meet them, bring up an instant record of reviews from other submissives, all past and current user names and lifestyle profiles, years of experience, muches and events they have attended, references with phone numbers to call, ratings on their Top and sexual skills, criminal background, job history, STDs, and blood type. If they are, in fact, a wannabe, then the Pocket Dom Scanner will start its siren and alert the Local BDSM Police to drag him away in a black van with tinted windows. He will then spend the rest of his days on the The Island of Misfit Dominants, reading Castlerealms.com, and reciting mantras such as "A twue dominant must be in complete control to control someone else". So might think this is unfair and inhumane treatment of dominants (who are just living breathing human beings like everyone else)... But...hey...you can never be too safe...

chiaThePet -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 6:11:15 PM)
There are wannabees at the collarme hive? Why i'm shocked i tell you, utterly shocked! chia* (the pet)

mrdpettigrew -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 6:12:38 PM)
look an opinion here ok the idea of some lval of control is a good one simpley based on people not wastingtime on others but even when you know of things such as people tryingto scam otehrs for cash no one cares or gives a rats but when you try to tlel them and taht is here the y do not care read my thing in forams about they only want ot steal

kc692 -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 6:13:57 PM)
I wannabe a millionaire

TheIronHorse -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 6:15:02 PM)
I am paraphrasing a subbie profile I see from time to time: "...you will have been mentored by a prominant male dominant in the local BDSM community, you will have participated regularly and openly at private and public events..." At first glance it might not be too off the mark, but this sub in particular seeks some sort of instant perfection. Real relationships are all trial and error. As was said in a thread elsewhere, be skeptical of one who keeps calling others fakes all the time. quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit What we really need is to tattoo dominants with a bar code. Then everything they try and log to a site or create a new username, they have to scan the bar code. You can purchase a Pocket Dom Scanner and scan them in public when you first meet them, bring up an instant record of reviews from other submissives, all past and current user names and lifestyle profiles, years of experience, muches and events they have attended, references with phone numbers to call, ratings on their Top and sexual skills, criminal background, job history, STDs, and blood type. If they are, in fact, a wannabe, then the Pocket Dom Scanner will start its siren and alert the Local BDSM Police to drag him away in a black van with tinted windows. He will then spend the rest of his days on the The Island of Misfit Dominants, reading Castlerealms.com, and reciting mantras such as "A twue dominant must be in complete control to control someone else". So might think this is unfair and inhumane treatment of dominants (who are just living breathing human beings like everyone else)... But...hey...you can never be too safe...

MadRabbit -> RE: What to do about wannabee's and such? (9/12/2007 6:21:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheIronHorse I am paraphrasing a subbie profile I see from time to time: "...you will have been mentored by a prominant male dominant in the local BDSM community, you will have participated regularly and openly at private and public events..." At first glance it might not be too off the mark, but this sub in particular seeks some sort of instant perfection. Real relationships are all trial and error. As was said in a thread elsewhere, be skeptical of one who keeps calling others fakes all the time. Geez...with standards like that, I hope she is really good at sucking cock.

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