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LadyShoshin -> RE: better with age (7/20/2004 9:15:11 AM)
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I wrote this so I can share it here
With thanks and apologies to the author of the original poem Warning - When I
Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple By Jenny Joseph
Warning _ When I am an old woman I shall wear PVC
When I am an old woman I shall wear PVC and leather, with a thong that
disappears up the crack of my large ass cheeks
I shall spend my pension on vampire gloves, floggers and satin hoods and say we have no money for gasoline.
I shall sit on subbies when I am tired and gobble up the midnight fingerfood
buffets at play parties and loudly proclaim “oh f**k” is NOT a safeword
I will run my cane over subbie butts and make up for the boring vanilla life of
my youth.
I shall slap my crop against my bulging thigh high leather boots with the
sensible heels and curse at my stay ups that never will.
I can beat the asses of aging, paunchy, balding men and call them “boy” as I
make them wince, hoarding clothespins and prickly things in a box.
The world says we must wear clothes that cover us, pay our rent instead of buy
that spanking bench, we must not lead subbies on a leash in the street and set
a good example for the newbies.
We must not show our friends how much we care by the welts we leave on their backs & behinds.
I gave up such vanilla beliefs long ago, because I am already old & wear PVC &
leather.
When I spent a year online as a submissive, never meeting the partners I scened with, I could be whatever I wanted to be, but in the real world, I have one body, what you see is what you get. It was after an initial scene in a now defunct Fetish club that dominants approached the Mistress who was training me to compliment her on my beauty. I had no self-esteem, no sense of self worth and thought of myself as old, fat & ugly. Looking into their eyes and seeing that they were telling the truth, that they saw a beauty in me that transcended the visual, I began to believe it.
Years later, as a switch who attends parties from London to Toronto, I notice the preponderance of people in their thirties, forties and fifties, I have even scened with two men in their seventies, I see the less than perfect bodies, the rolls, the cellulite, the wrinkles, and none of it matters. Outside of the media images, it is the attitude, the humor, and the belief in their own worth and the flow of trust that matters.
Because of recent life events, I am letting my Domme side out more and tucking away the more vulnerable subbie side except with very trusted friends.
To paraphrase a chant … I am crone, I am not alone, get used to it.
The typical mainstream search will turn up the definition - CRONE
n : an ugly evil-looking old woman [syn: hag, beldam, beldame, witch]
Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University
I have been doing some study on "crone" and discovered that being a crone gives me far more freedom than the polyester blandness of the women in my family who have gone before me. I can bake cookies and spoil my grandson rotten, but i can also smoke a sub’s butt & spoil a pet rotten too. I am really beginning to enjoy being a crone, and while I look at the lithe maidens within the lifestyle with some regret that I didn't find BDSM when I could still do a backbend, I am pleased that as crone, I am accepted & respected by my peers. Those peers don’t fit any stereotype for age or body shape, they are unique individuals who have come to understand that the only opinion that matters is their own & that of their partner(s).
Other lifestyles have tried to fit me into a mold, to make me what the majority believe a woman of my age & girth should be, but I have never taken well to being boxed in, not when I was a professional clown and certainly not now.
The only time I have heard derogatory remarks about a player’s age or size was at open fet parties from those we call “tourists” and frankly, if they don’t have the balls to get up & take part, their opinion isn’t worth spit.
I doubt we will see the aging, overweight players in the media except in documentaries, because the stereotype sells ad time & that is what is about, again, something that doesn’t bother me a bit.
I am honored & proud to have earned the respect of my peers, no matter what their body type and I am proud of crones like me who follow their heart & wear what makes them feel good & feel sexy without worrying about the opinions of others.
This lifestyle gave me a home and a place to be free to be me, no matter my age or shape, thank you all!
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