How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online?

How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (Full Version)

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Blaakmaan -> How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 4:38:13 PM)
Hello, all: I'm a newbie Dom, and I posted a question very similar to this on the "Ask a Master" forum. I would also like the submissive/slave point of view (whether or not they are the same point of view), so I'm posting the question here, too. My question is: How should a Dom approach a submissive or slave online? How do you prefer to be approached online? I ask because I have seen some slave/submissive profiles where the slave or sub states that she doesn't want to receive messages like "On your knees!", and stuff like that. So, I can only assume that some (I don't know what proportion) of Doms approach subs that way. It makes me wonder if I should be using that same super-aggressive approach. I haven't so far (I'm kinda polite), but maybe I'm making a mistake... Do you get messages like that from Doms? How do you respond to messages like "On your Knees"? Do you like that kind of aggressive approach? If not, how do you prefer to be approached online? Thanks to all who post a (serious) answer!

RCdc -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 4:42:33 PM)
Be yourself and do not post something that isn't you. So if 'on your knees biatch' is seriously your thing, then do it - just don't do it to the people whos profile states its not their thing. Don't be insincere and pretend to be something you are not... it will only come back to bite you on the tushie. Personally, it sucks when someone tries to be dominant when they write. Just be - and the rest flows ... Peace the.dark.

umisprite -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 4:49:34 PM)
I've got to agree with the.dark. on this one. Just be yourself. I always appreciate when a Dom emails me if he shows that he has read my profile and has a bit of an idea of who I am and if we would even be remotely interested in each other. Of course you never really know until you make the approach and see what happens.

KyttynTheMynx -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 4:58:16 PM)
How should a Dom approach a submissive or slave online? Personally, I say with as much respect as one would approach a stranger on the street... How do you prefer to be approached online? In as polite a manner as possible. Do you get messages like that from Doms? Once in a blue moon, a dork rears his ugly lil head and sends me a goofball message like that. How do you respond to messages like "On your Knees"? Usually with something smartassed, or I tell him to eat a dick and block him Do you like that kind of aggressive approach? If not, how do you prefer to be approached online? I personally dont like it. If at all, I think its more effective, to just talk to me like I am a human. Mention something you saw on my profile, ask me something I didnt mention on the profile. Just be your normal self. [:D]

AquaticSub -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 5:33:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan How should a Dom approach a submissive or slave online? How do you prefer to be approached online? For me the big key is respect. My name is Aqua, not girl. Find something in my profile actually does interest you and if it's not something BDSM related all the better. quote: Do you get messages like that from Doms? Yup. Even though I'm owned - I liked the one who said my profile indicated I'm looking for a strong master and a sister slave. I can only imagine the amount of messages the unowned submissives get. quote: How do you respond to messages like "On your Knees"? Sometimes: Thanks but no thanks. Sometimes, usually depending on what else the message said: "If you are too incompetent to read my profile and gather that I am owned/will only respond to respectful messages that don't assume immediate ownership, you are too imcompetent to ever command me." I never said I was nice all the time. quote: Do you like that kind of aggressive approach? I see a difference in aggressive and assuming instant ownership. quote: If not, how do you prefer to be approached online? Don't talk to me as though you own me. If you want, make requests not commands. Once I'm owned, I respond to commands. My .02

missturbation -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 5:35:02 PM)
Quietly, from behind [;)]

ArgoGeorgia -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 5:39:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Quietly, from behind [;)] Damn, THAT is what I've been doing wrong...

missturbation -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 5:41:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Quietly, from behind [;)] Damn, THAT is what I've been doing wrong... Yessssssssss, im finally a source of enlightenment does a little dance

Evanesce -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 6:06:34 PM)
quote: My question is: How should a Dom approach a submissive or slave online? How do you prefer to be approached online? The answer to both of these questions is: Politely, and with a small demonstration of intelligence, wit and humor. quote: Do you get messages like that from Doms? [:)] Not any more. I think I've developed a reputation for putting neanderthals in their place. quote: How do you respond to messages like "On your Knees"? "You first, pal, and when I'm done nailing your scrotum to the nearest fencepost, I MIGHT allow you to apologize for your audacity and try speaking to me again." quote: Do you like that kind of aggressive approach? If not, how do you prefer to be approached online? No, and see my first response above.

duckfoot -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 6:13:08 PM)
quote: If you are too incompetent to read my profile and gather that I am owned/will only respond to respectful messages that don't assume immediate ownership, you are too imcompetent to ever command me." Very well said. Yes, boys send messages making demands of women online. They often look like form letters and are generally devoid of linquistic cunning. And you should know everyone loves a cunning linquist.

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 6:34:25 PM)
quote: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? verrrrrrrrrryyy carefully...they scare easily...LOL

Aileen68 -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 6:37:22 PM)
We love cock pictures within the first email. Taken from various angles of course.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 7:06:54 PM)
Moderators frown on posting the same thing twice, one or both will get deleted, next time don't post the same thing twice in differnt area's. Once is enough. quote: ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan Hello, all: I'm a newbie Dom, and I posted a question very similar to this on the "Ask a Master" forum.

jaxnsax -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 7:23:02 PM)
Greetings If I get a message that says ‘on your knees’ I delete it without answering. If I get a message that says ‘what do you like to do” I delete it without answering If I get a message that says “hi” I delete it without answering. If I get a message that does nothing more than compliment me on my photos; I USUALLY delete it. There have been some instances where, after looking at the person’s profile, I have answered and struck up a conversation. Personally, I prefer that those who DO write to me show a modicum of intelligence and say more than just ‘hi’ or ‘on your knees’. jaxon

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 7:34:22 PM)
how should a dom approach me as a submissive? start off with respect realizing just because it says submissive doesn't mean i'm yours automatically when sending a message me - there must be an established friendship, common interest, trust and relationship (in that exact order) a decent command of the english language would be nice - i don't like slang/text speak/ weird euphorisms ...if i have to decipher the message, don't expect a reply back write more than one line and remember sending "on your knees now" will get you blocked in a heartbeat ...there's intelligence behind this brain - challenge me most importantly - READ my profile before sending a message

peppermint -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 7:36:28 PM)
I met the very first Dom I ever played with via CM. I mentioned gardening as one of my hobbies and it was something he enjoyed also. We emailed about gardens in general, dirt, azaleas, rhododendrons, and blueberry bushes. When we finally got to phone conversations, it was more of the same. We talked about how our days had gone and mundane things like that. This Dom is still one of my best friends. He is also great friends with the Dom who put the collar around my neck. Being a Dominant does not give you permission to be an a**hole. Politeness and being friendly count.

willowspirit -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 7:44:52 PM)
Taking the time and care to type out the whole word "s u b m i s s i v e " is a nice touch. I may be a submissive, but I'm Not YOUR submissive! A very important thing to remember. "willowspirit" *-- who sees "subs" as 2 things -- Underwater craft OR a type of Sandwich. I am neither.*

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 10:18:11 PM)
If you aren't engaging and interesting and show that you somehow connect with me the person I will simply delete your email. Period. Easy, peasy.

sublizzie -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 10:56:27 PM)
I would agree with those who said to read the profile and journal here, see me as a person, comment on what I've said in my profile and journal, tell me about yourself (not about your physical self cuz I really don't care about looks), let me know why you find me worth emailing (other than you like corsets or big women). It doesn't seem like all that much trouble if you really find someone interesting. Cock shots and lists of all the toys you own tell me you have no clue about the kind of D/s relationship I am looking for. You'll get a polite response from me but it will be "Thanks for your interest but I do not think we would suit. I wish you well on your journey." Just my thoughts.........

Satyr6406 -> RE: How SHOULD a Dom Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 11:05:35 PM)
Okay. I know I'm going to catch hell, here but, I don't care. It's happened before ... In response to the very serious question: How should a Dom approach a submissive or slave online?, I respond: They shouldn't. Now, just to show you that this isn't a smart-assed answer ... I have always believed that one of the things that is great about this lifestyle is that we don't fall into the "neat little holes" that society does. Contrary to how "courtship rituals" unfold in the 'nilla world, we, as dominants, are asking submissives to truly give themselves to us (in a much more defined manner than the 'nilla world) and allow us to guide, nurture, and care for them. How does this work? A dominant need only be the best person they can be and allow a submissive to get to know them. It is up to the submissive to recognize qualities that they admire and take some time to GET TO KNOW a dominant, before they offer to submit. It is not up to me to persue a submissive. It is up to me to show a submissive how I live my life and what I have to offer and for that submissive to discern that they "like the cut of my jib" (any allegorious sexual innuendo was not intended). From there, the decision/"moves" are up to the submissive. Peace and comfort, Michael

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