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RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 8:28:56 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks LA

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 9:05:29 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		Jen..its a conspiracy...

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 9:06:16 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		The reason I usually don't bother is because if I'm talking about a scene that I played, the odds are that the person topping me was a dominant. I just haven't played that much with switchs or submissive tops. I suppose I see it like the "sub vs slave" issue or "lesbian vs dyke vs homosexual vs whatever". I just call them what they prefer to be called, regardless of my own definations.

Other than that, I use the terms the OP used. If they say they were scening with a dominant, I refer to them as a dominant. If I need clarification, I just ask. Hope that makes sense, I got up way too early today and my head is cloudy.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BoiJen)
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RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 9:18:47 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

Jen..its a conspiracy...


I KNEW it goddamnit!

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 9:42:18 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		If we expect folks to make the appropriate translation effort for gender/ oreintation pronouns to fit the idea to their own relationships then why is it such a reach to expect the same thing for power dynamic?

I generally try to let folks know when I am talking in generic terms and when I am speaking in specific terms.
You're a sadistic boi, however the world of online BDSM websites (pansexual) tends not to have a good idea what a leather boy is let alone a boi. So your power dynamic is less than clear to many folks who have not been around the Leather community but rather have spent time around BDSM (pansexual) folks.


(in reply to BoiJen)
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RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 10:00:42 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

I would assume when a topic is about play...rather than power dynamic that one would then use terms specific to play rather than generalizing with terms used for a power dynamic...then again there I go assuming.


Humpty Dumpty in Lewis Carrol's "Through The Looking Glass" said it best:

quote:


`When _I_ use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.'


People will use words as they wish.  That is the order of things.




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RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 11:02:31 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		Huh.  I never really thought about it but I guess it can be insulting either way.  If you call a submissive a 'bottom' they could get offended at the idea that they're only in it for the sensation of being whipped, and if you call a 'bottom' a submissive they could get offended that they were submitting by enjoying the sensation alone.

I generally try to use the words that a person uses in the post that I'm replying to, simply for continuity's sake.  I personally never use the words "top" and "bottom" in my day to day life and if anyone called me a bottom I would smack them upside the head because the main place I hear those words used is in male homosexual sex.  I guess you can't please everyone but I will make a point of referring to you as a bottom as long as you make a point of not referring to me as one ;)

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RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 11:54:40 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Personally, I prefer to just be me.  Any deeper discussion of terminology than that requires a pitcher of margaritas!

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 1:18:54 PM   
teamnoir


Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline 		Play can also consist purely of d/s interactions.

However, I do take your point and I partially agree. I tend to treat d/s and SM as separate and distinct activities - activities which are frequently pursued in tandem, but which can also be explored completely in isolation from each other.

So dominant top, submissive bottom, dominant bottom, and submissive top are all completely plausible and legitimate roles.

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 1:21:28 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I'm kind of with you here, and generally use Top/bottom when talking about SM play independant of whether a power dynamic exists or is even relevant.  I have no problem thinking of myself as a bottom and I can imagine bottomming to others besides my Master.  Being referred to as a bottom doesn't offend me.  I don't have a problem with being called submissive either, because its an accurate description of what I do, though I'm a slave to my Master.  With most others, I'm generally submissive unless I have good reason not to be (ie: I sense a threat).   I don't see either bottom or submissive as being denigrating.  There's nothing 'just' about being a bottom.  To me, its a challenge to take a beating from someone I'm not in a power exchange relationship with.




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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


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RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 2:38:24 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Personally, I prefer to just be me.  Any deeper discussion of terminology than that requires a pitcher of margaritas!


and as an addict in recovery, i would take major offence at someone suggesting that to me


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Play Terms V. PD Terms - 9/14/2007 2:59:06 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Who said I'd share?   Bartender, a Shirley Temple for the lady.

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Profile   Post #: 32
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