RE: I screwed up big time.

RE: I screwed up big time. (Full Version)

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xoxi -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/15/2007 10:36:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: xoxi As for the numbers game...lie. Seriously. Most women have. I have. I will continue to. Don't turn 20 into 5 but you can turn 9 into 6...just flip it upside down. It's kind of a nine and it is a far nicer way to say 'none of your business' [;)] Huh??? Why? Who in their right mind would want to start off a possible relationship with a lie? Because I truly believe there is such thing as too much honesty. I do not want to hear about the girl he drunkenly sodomized and tossed a $20 to for cab fare so the bitch wouldn't be there when he woke up and in return I won't mention the guy who I gave my number to on a playing card of the Joker who I took back to my place at 6 that morning. Besides that, it is something that really doesn't fucking matter. It's more of a "no you don't look like you gained 10 lbs honey" lie than a "no I never sucked dick for crack" lie. I never offer the information nor do I ask, but if I am asked I would rather shave two or three off the actual number than say "none of your business" because 1. thats rude, 2. he would imagine a far higher number if I did say that, and 3. some of them were casual things that I truly do not see as important enough to mention, nor do I want to. My 'number' is how many people I have had sex with more than once....and while it's not terribly different from the actual number it's different enough for me. Unlike most people here I also see "slut" as an insult and therefore tend to date guys who also see it as, if not an insult, hardly something to aspire to be. I will never be all two thumbs up "yeah baby I'm a slut, I've sucked more cocks than you've seen in the locker room" because its just not me.

mistoferin -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/15/2007 10:53:08 PM)
I'm not ashamed of my sexual history. I would see no reason to lie about it if the number was 2 or 200. If someone takes issue with, as you say, my "number", well, it's their issue not mine. To me, a lie is a lie. I guess I would have a hard time believing that "most" women lie about this. But then again, I'm one of those odd kind of women that views faking an orgasm as a lie too.

xoxi -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/15/2007 11:25:43 PM)
I'm not sure if it's most women or just a handful...it's something NOBODY admits. That's one of the reasons I brought it up here...because I don't want her to be afraid to have sex because it would add one on to her number. I lie, my best friend lies (her 'number' is so ingrained she told it to me once. I laughed.), and I've talked to quite a few girls who do. So do some guys. I'm not ashamed of the number itself because it's not terribly high but I do kind of want to erase a few of them from my memory. I've said several times on this board that for me casual sex sucks...and I know that from experience [;)] Those guys can just kind of set up a tent in the dark recesses of my mind and hang out with 10 y/o me crying because nobody would be my friend, every time I've put kleenex in my pants because I was out of tampons, and the cups of laundry detergent I've 'borrowed' from my ex roomies. Have fun guys! Oh and by the way. With those guys? I totally faked [8D]

xoxi -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/15/2007 11:31:51 PM)
PS I only fake orgasms when a man refuses to accept the validity of the phrase "I seriously enjoyed the experience. I'm not going to come and I don't want to keep trying. I'm satisfied." Because I know better than he does that it's NOT going to happen and I want him the fuck off me without feeling all bad and un-manly and stuff. The guys who know I enjoy sex without orgasms and honestly can live without them? Never once faked. Then again they were boyfriends...they knew me well enough to know I meant it.

MzMia -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/15/2007 11:34:03 PM)
Damn you are refreshing! You go gurl. Personally, I have only had 2 or 3 partners in my life.[sm=flowers.gif] I am saving myself for Domiguy. lol

xoxi -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/15/2007 11:37:13 PM)
LOL blush Keep encouraging me like that and I'll never learn to play nice [;)]

laurell3 -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 12:21:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy There is no time table beyond the three date rule...Three solid fucking dates...Anywhooo, I rarely make it past one without getting knee deep in the shit...I'm a fucking simple artist...Who would have the nerve to stop an artist when those creative juices start to flow? I work in pussy juice and cum like other artists work in clay...Tis the medium that the good Lord chose for me. To the op....Shine on you crazy diamond. Also ....If I find some sub ....Who's paying on the fifth date...We will be having a series of "fifth" dates.... subbie: Domiguy, what are we doing tonight? Domiguy: Funny you should ask...We are having another fifth date tonight....Drinks and a big fat buttery slab of meat at Ruth Chris....God how I love fifth dates! LOL that is awesome! do NOT buy this man coffee :p I agree with the earlier posts, who cares if he doesn't like you bc you had sex on the first or 50th date? what do you want to do? Don't try to make a man like you, just be and be ok with it. This guy sounds like a complete moron and you will learn to see them coming in time, we all made mistakes early on in the lifestyle. Get more sense of self and move on when you encounter a troll that could sell ice to an eskimo, you always have you and you is more important than them, you will be there forever.

susie -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 1:22:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I'm not ashamed of my sexual history. I would see no reason to lie about it if the number was 2 or 200. If someone takes issue with, as you say, my "number", well, it's their issue not mine. To me, a lie is a lie. I guess I would have a hard time believing that "most" women lie about this. But then again, I'm one of those odd kind of women that views faking an orgasm as a lie too. I agree. To start off with a lie just causes issues in the future. Why not just say that your past has nothing to do with the present. Look forward not back. We have never asked each other how many partners we have had in the past as that has nothing to do with the relationship we have now. I love him now not for what he did back then.

eyesopened -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 4:58:58 AM)
i find both xoxi and mistoferin's point of view to be equally valid. i am 54 years old which means i became sexually active before AIDS, before herpes even (gee that makes me sound so old) so a season of promiscuity shouldn't count against me. Most of my partners have been within the same age range and i would assume had a similar season of lust. 99.9% of the time... the number of partners question has been asked about the past decade, not over a lifetime. But whatever i am asked i answer honestly.

CelticPrince -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 5:56:28 AM)
defiant, Truely you have to be kidding! You have logged over a thousand post and have been around awhile, so I ponder how you would even consider a "D" that wants to collar you at first glance. CP

mistoferin -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 7:12:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: susie I agree. To start off with a lie just causes issues in the future. Why not just say that your past has nothing to do with the present. Look forward not back. We have never asked each other how many partners we have had in the past as that has nothing to do with the relationship we have now. I love him now not for what he did back then. Thank you, I hope we really haven't come to a point where dishonesty is encouraged, applauded or seen to be the norm.

kyraofMists -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 7:30:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: susie I agree. To start off with a lie just causes issues in the future. Why not just say that your past has nothing to do with the present. Look forward not back. We have never asked each other how many partners we have had in the past as that has nothing to do with the relationship we have now. I love him now not for what he did back then. Thank you, I hope we really haven't come to a point where dishonesty is encouraged, applauded or seen to be the norm. I hope not as well. I just really don't understand the motivation behind this at all. I see it as managing the symptoms rather than addressing the problem. Instead of telling a lie so that they don't think poorly of you, why not find someone where the honest answer to that question doesn't matter in the least? Knight's Kyra

KatyLied -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 7:36:11 AM)
If someone is going to lie about their sexual history, what else do you think they may be lying about? The entire not-being-genuine-on-purpose thing bothers me. And why are so many so wrapped up in someone's past. Some things to think about - the past does have something to do with who the person is today. But isn't building a future more important than deconstructing the past? Or do I just look at things differently than most?

velvetears -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 7:57:52 AM)
i think asking how many people they have slept with is incredibly rude. It tells me they are looking at an arbitrary number and not me when evaluating me. i would have no problem saying it was really not something i wished to discuss and move on. i had a gf who constantly spoke about sex and how many men she had sex with. It was a lot, i think 68. She knew every name, exactly what they did, who was good at what etc. i would try to steer the conversation to something else but she'd always go back to sex. Always spoke about how horny she was and how she needed a fuck buddy. Some people are comfortable with talking about their past, others like myself feel it's private. The only one i did "tell" was my ex Master after i became his, and no he never even asked me beforehand. Oh and faking orgasm - you're only hurting yourself. Why fake it? Why not work at whatever it takes to achieve them with your partner. i would have just told that guy look i'm not going to cum can we please stop, it that offended his ego too bad.

Frank43NYC -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 8:19:18 AM)
He's got "wanker" written all over him. Move on. You didn't blow it.

MistressDoMe -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 8:37:58 AM)
I am not concerned with how many partners my submissive has had. After the age of 30 who really counts or cares? Whether he has had 10 or 1000, what I care about is that he does not have any sexually transmitted diseases and is not HIV positive.

shellykisses -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/16/2007 10:41:05 AM)
hello i'am very new and do not know much but it seems to me that the type of relationship we in this lifestyle seek takes much more time and trust than any other if we as subs cannot trust that the person we are interested in to at least contact us then how can we trust them to take care of us? i was wondering when reading Your post why was his # blocked ?To me and it is only my opinion but if they are not very attentive in the beginning then what will they be later? You did not make a mistake and it has happened to me many times ,it is my feeling that we at least desreve a little message saying hey You are on my mind but i'am very busy.

TankII7871 -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/17/2007 6:26:14 AM)
psst pssst come here i want to tell you something (looks around to make sure no one else is listening) there is a easy way to tell if a man would like to get in your pants on the 1st date. Now dont tell anyone else. He showed up As far as knowing if you have been with 1 guy or 10,000 guys most men dont care where you learned that little trick with your mouth. Now women on the other hand if you have been with another women we want all the details. As for putting out on the 1st date well the last girl that did that for me ended up with a nice suprise we have been married for 16 years. And i never have asked where she learned that little trick with her mouth from. Eric i went to school in kentucky so i cant do the math thing anyways

MasterMataeo -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/17/2007 7:02:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Sunday, I was contacted by a Dom in my small town. He said all the right things, asked if I would wear a collar, and wanted me to mention him on my profile. He also wanted me to talk dirty to him on the phone. I told him I wanted to meet him and he said we could meet sometime this week. He signed briefly the next day but didn't contact me. I had no way to get ahold of him except on here because he blocked his number when he called. After several days of hearing nothing and remembering the phone thing, I assumed he was a wanker. A couple of hours ago, I sent him a message stating I had deleted my mention of him in my journal since I hadn't heard from him and said time to move on. Just my luck he decided to sign in tonight and reply with "I had a busy week, sorry. If that's how you feel, I guess I lose." Now he's all pissed off and refuses to read any of my messages. I know, I jumped to conclusions and was wrong. I never met the guy so I'm not going to cry or lose any sleep over it. Has this happened to anyone else, especially since there are so many wankers out there? How many days should a woman wait before concluding that a man is only after cyber/phone fun? I obviously didn't wait long enough. live and learn,, ,, but then again, if he really wanted to he would work on a relationship a bit more,, these things take work on both sides sometimes,,, a bit more on ones side at times than one would like to admit , but non the less ,, still in order for anything to work out ,, both must work on things ,, it can not ever just be one sided,, jsut look at Ying and Yang MM

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/17/2007 8:50:08 PM)
I'm confused as to why everyone is saying the guy is the bad icky wanker when he talked about all this stuff, but no one mentioned that not only did that ENTICE Defiant, it made her want and wait and react positively to him as well. This should say she's at least as much of a wanker as he is- she just stopped playing around before he did. Defiant is well known to have issues with males and sex- so my only piece of advice os STOP trying to hook up with guys UNTIL you understand them and have decent judgement for yourself. Until then, this is going to keep happening.

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