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Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 1:34:06 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		My dog is dying in the Animal Hospital. I am so sad and depressed about it. My dog has never been anything but great, as far as I am concerned. He is my buddy, my ever-loving friend. I can tell him anything, and he listens to me. he has seen me through the roughest of times, and right now, I am trying to reciprocate as best I can.

He has more leg surgery tommorrow, but the doc already said there is a good chance he is not long for this world. He has a torn ligament in his leg that refuses to heal, and also the Liver disease he experienced last Winter has returned. He can't walk, and is not eating, and thinks look pretty belak for him. He is 9 years old (IMO) too young to die - and I know he's lived a great life for a dog - I made sure of that. But  am still so sad about this.

His name is Oscar, and he is a Beagle. I've had him ever since I adopted him at the Humane Society at age 1. He is like my child (I have no kids). He is the best dog in every way: Loyal, sweet, smart, affectionate, playful and great with people (especially kids).

Anyway, I was so depressed about his condition, that I was crying in my front porch after I came home (something I never do), and my two Lesbian neighbor ladies were over, trying to cheer me up by saying I had  always been a good dog mom, etc. (they are so nice) - when suddenly - my jerk of an ex-Military captain neighbor guy, from across the street, wanders over, asks why I am upset, and  then says to me:

"Hey - it's just a dog." Like it shouldn't mean that much to me, or something.

Like I am crazy for being sad?

Obviously, the man never had a pet he loved, and-or has heart made of stone. This is the same guy whose Spring and Summer-time hobby is sitting on his front porch, shooting at bunnies who "invade" his yard, by shooting at them with a Bee-Bee gun. I think he is also stupid, not just rude (like he really thinks if he kills a few, they're aren't going to be anymore, ever, who are ever going to come back into his yard? Doesn't he know they multiply?)

Why do people say things like this?
 
My two Lesbian neighbors point-blank told him he was a jerk for saying it - I think he just hates me because he hates them, and he knows I get along fine with them (they helped me plant my garden last Spring. They are great neighbors, IMO). He just hates Lesbians, I guess (he's made that very clear, over the years). And bunnies, too.

I was speechless, and said nothing to him at all (what was there to say? My mind went blank).

Anyone have any snappy come-backs, for people who say things this insensitive?
 
Sorry to rant. I think I will try to go to bed now. It's just been a loooong evening.

Anyway, thanks for listening. Guess I am just generally bummed about Oscar.  Just had to get it out.

-Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/15/2007 1:45:06 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 1:39:39 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		He was probably trying to help you feel less emotional about it.  Whether or not that's actually a good thing for you, it's probably how he'd have approached it himself.  Or maybe he's just an ass; but the primer seems to be more likely.

Snappy comebacks?  Meh.  You could be passive aggressive and keep tabs on his health.  "Hey, it's just your prostate."  Or you could go with, "Yeah, it is, but you'd be sad if you lost (your) [insert name/title of a loved one]."  (Implying that [loved one] is a dog.)  Still, either would be kinda childish.

PS-  I'm sorry to hear about your dog.  I guess there's no easy way about it; it'd be demeaning to your affection for him if you didn't feel sad at times when he's under such conditions.  It's okay to be human.

< Message edited by CuriousLord -- 9/15/2007 1:42:32 AM >

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 1:41:56 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe. But right now I am liking the: "Hey it's just your Prostate" remark (thanks for that). I might not say it (but it is always nice to have a secret arsenal). IMO he has always been the neighiborhood's M---ucker (even his own wife thinks this).

I will get over it. He just ticked me off in a weak moment. Thanks for listening, anyway.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/15/2007 1:42:57 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 1:45:12 AM   
privatelives


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/26/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		im so sorry to hear about your dog.
 
i have had a couple of different friends that have lost dogs, they say its like losing a family member, which is awful in itself.
i had a duck & when she died i was destroyed for weeks, nobody can tell you 'its just a dog (animal) thats just ignorant & disrespectful. - its the happiness that animal brings & the life you have given it that are important!
 
i say 'Opinions are like assholes, Everybody has one, yours just stinks more cos you ARE an asshole!
dont let peoples cruel words get to you...one day they will know how it feels to lose someone/something precious too. life is justified that way!!
 
{{hugs}} to ya!
 
(red)

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 1:46:19 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I haven't got an answer to the question susan, some people are just wankers, but *hugs* to you.

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 1:46:28 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Susan,

I'm so sorry to hear about Oscar.. I do have kids, but I love my dog, too.

As far as the neighbor, I'd advise just forgetting the snappy comebacks. He's beneath you so why stoop to his level. You're a classy lady.. the best revenge is to stay that way and don't worry about the muck dwellers.

I wish you and Oscar both peace, dear lady.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 1:46:57 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		There's no point in wasting your energy with snappy come backs.
My daddie's brother is like that, he's all unsentimental cause he had a  dog and when it died it soured him on ever careing for another creature again, so when We were faced with what to do with ginger when her momma couldn't care for her, David's idea was to put it in the pound let someone else have it, why are you so upset, it's an animal.

I stepped up and i took the dog for a month till James could care for her himself.

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 1:48:18 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hey you people - thanks very much - you have no idea how much thatmenas to me right about now. I appreciate the support. You're right - he's a jerk who isn't worth my time.

I love animals too: Ducks, cats, dogs, even fish - they are all wonderful in my book. Thansk for listening to my little rant.

I am gonna try to catch some shut-eye - I have to be back there at the hospital at 9am (and have had no sleep at all tonight). I will be back to this thread later, though.

Thank you. I just had to let my feelings out, I guess. I appreciate the ear.

Pets are People, too! As far as I am concerned.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/15/2007 1:51:27 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 3:54:02 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Hugs to you Susan.

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 4:51:06 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Your neighbor is an ass.
Bring your dog home and let him die there.  You will both be much happier for that.

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 5:04:47 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Don't give up hope, Susan.  Dogs have a way of rallying when you think there's none.  One of my old dogs came down with a tick-borne illness (erlichhiosis...sp?) and the vet sent him home thinking he wasn't going to make it.  He was jaundiced and hadn't eaten for a week, could barely stand up, and he passed out every time he peed.  My son and I nursed him for the next few days, and one night, he stood up, looked around, went back and ate everything in his food dish, made a full recovery, and lived 5 more years. 

Think positive thoughts and don't give up on him...he might surprise you!  

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 5:05:04 AM   
johntom571


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

My dog is dying in the Animal Hospital. I am so sad and depressed about it. My dog has never been anything but great, as far as I am concerned. He is my buddy, my ever-loving friend. I can tell him anything, and he listens to me. he has seen me through the roughest of times, and right now, I am trying to reciprocate as best I can.


My buddy passed away a few weeks ago.  He was a 18 year old greypoint tomcat.  I share your pain.

As far as Captain Sensitive goes, the best comeback line I can think of is to look him up and down as if he were covered in excrement, and say in a thin voice "thank you for your support".  I suspect he won't get it..  So don't let it be a burden to you.  Grief is enough to handle for the moment.

I wrote a few days before he passed away, I wrote something to cushion the pain. (It didn't work, but hey you try it for size).  It you'll contact me, I'll send it to you.

Johntom

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 5:15:09 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the support, everyone. I am off the the Animal Hospital at 8:15, my doggie having surgry again at 9am - and I am going to ask if I can just bring him home by Monday - I know that no matter what happens, he likes it better here with me. I will let ya'll know how it turns out.Maybe he will rally, ya' never know (I am keeping my fingers crossed). johntom571, I am vety sorry about your kitty cat. It is just so dang hard to lose a pet - maybe people who haven't had one just don't get it. 

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 2:59:29 PM   
Owner59


Posts: 17033
Joined: 3/14/2006
From: Dirty Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Your neighbor is an ass.
Bring your dog home and let him die there.  You will both be much happier for that.


ditto

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President Obama

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 3:08:15 PM   
servantheart


Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I'm sorry about your dog, Susan
 
Hugs,
 
Taryn

P.S. Give your neighbor a message from me:   

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When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 3:12:52 PM   
RaynaSub


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		I am sorry Susan, many dogs are more dependable than a lot of people.
That is one come back I often use.
Try to ignore insensitive remarks, if possible.
Don't let unkind remarks get to you.
It is normal to mourn the loss of your dog, if not than he would not have
meant that much to you.

< Message edited by RaynaSub -- 9/15/2007 3:16:19 PM >

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 4:33:36 PM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		Susan
 
gosh...I know this is late coming ( its 730 at night and Im just reading your post)...but I hope all went well today for your pup...sending good thoughts your way...
 
for many of us they ARE family members...
my daughter ( whos 21 now..and working in a vet hospital ) has animals shes had all her life and they are now coming to the end of their lives...its hard to know what is best ( you wanna keep them but you also dont want them in pain )...
Her dog toby lived to 19 ( beagle pug mix ) and she had to make the hard decision last year..
Her cat  Colors  is 17 now and in kidney failure...shes stable  but we give her SubQ injections daily and she has a special diet...recently shes going blind..tough decisions to make for her now..
Spike is a cattle dog and hes 11...old but healthy as ever thank goodness..
We have always had animals around ...
 
why are some people unfeeling about that?  heck if I know...sad for them < is what I say...soft smile.
 
again...sending you and your pup good thoughts...
and a hug ...if you'd like one     smiles
 
 
 
 

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Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 5:17:57 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the support. Unfortunately, today (via X-rays and blood tests) the doc located Lympho-sarcoma (cancer of the Lymph nodes) in over 60% of Oscar's body. I am super-bummed about this. Apparently, it is a common cancer in dogs. I thought he would just have more leg surgery, and then rally, and get better. But - I had noticed he wasn't eating, and breathing in a shallow manner, plus he is/was making this awful snoring noise all the time. he cab't walk, and his body seemed swollen (or extra fat). He is/was obviously pretty ill. I just fidn't think (this time) this was what the matter was  (he did have a torn ligament in hs leg, also).

He is dying, basically. The Vet told me I can prolong his life for another few weeks, at best, by giving him Prednazone (a drug  used  for cancer patients) - he said this will not make him get better, merely prlonong his lofe for a few weeks (and he may not be enjoying those few weeks). OR, put him down, early next week (or whenever I am ready, if he isn't dead already by then.)

I feel so stupid. This morning, I kept asking the doctor (even though he had alreayd told me avbout the cancer) - "When will we operate on his leg - so he can walk again?" The first 2 times, he didn't say anything. Then he finally said: "Well, sinc ehe porbably won't live more than another 3 weeks to a month, even if he gets medication, I thought that you might consider that to not be necessary - to put him through that surgery again." I must have been in denail about what I was earing (pous, I hadn't gotten much sleep, and was kind of foggy).  I know a hopeless situatiom , and this appears to be one.  

I am taking an air mattress into my living room with me tonight, so I can sleep next to his bed, and pet him. IMO, he needs to know his "Mom" is nearby. I am also going to take more pictures if him with my camera, and sing to him the little song(s) I made up just for him when he was a puppy

After this happened, I was in tears and drove to the grocery, and bough a quart of his favorite Haagen-Daz ice-cream - but he won't even eat it. This tells me his is as ill as he seems (he never tuns down a snack. Ever)

I am bummed. Monday I am goign to the Humane Society's doggie cemetery, and finding out how much it costs to have a grave and marker for him there. No way am I dumping him by the side of any roadway. Not my baby. No way in Hell. That is never going to happpen to my Oscar. Over my own dead body. I am thinking I am going to have to put him down Monday or Tuesday. He is feeling really crappy, and he isn't going to improve much, accoridng to the Vet.  
And I just haven't got the energy (or the spirit) right now, to dig a grave for him in my back-yard.

I truly think my heart is breaking. I am sorry to say this is what the outcome was. But it is what happened to day, at the Vet. I certainly wish it had not.

I will ge through this. I am not going to say anymore about it.

But I truly, truly want to thank everyone who wrote in and was so kind. Because this dog is my best friend in the whole world.

I am not trying to be a wimp or a baby about what is happening. But I did promise to write back, and say what did happen - and I wanted to say thank you to the people who wrote in and were so kind in their comments. You people truly rock. Thank you so much. It really made a positive difference in my mood. It really did.  I am gonna go take a nap in a few minutes- sleeping right next to my dear baby doggie.

God bless,

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/15/2007 5:28:23 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Cyntilating)
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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 5:52:37 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I"m so sorry to hear, Susan. 

Please know that when they put them to sleep, it's literally just like that, very peaceful and quick.  It lets them go with dignity and is the most loving thing you can do for them when there's no other choice. 

Oscar is lucky to have been yours for as many years as he did and he loves you for it. 

If you can afford it, you might want to look into having him cremated.  You can choose to keep his ashes, and then either bury him another time, or just keep the ashes with you. 

You have my deepest and most heartfelt sympathy.  You're not being a wimp or a baby.....I'm crying right now as I'm typing this, lol.

< Message edited by windchymes -- 9/15/2007 5:55:19 PM >

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: Mr Sensitivity - 9/15/2007 6:00:33 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I lost my golden retiever over a year ago and I still miss her dreadfully. Yes I have family but she was part of the family.

She too died of cancer. I was with her at the end. They gave her a sedative and she passed away from that just as they started on the injection. She was so weak but she made that last weekend to be with her family.

Ask the animal hospital about cremation. I am going to get a tree peony next spring and bury her ashes under it. I couldn't fact it this year. But I know she will be with me again. Because if heaven doesn't let her in, then I'm not going either.

(in reply to windchymes)
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