RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:17:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Do you lie about your sexual past, number of partners, experiences, etc. and if so what is your reason for doing so?

Nope. Reformed slut here. Will give numbers and gory details - to those that need to know. [;)]
quote:


Would you be upset if you learned your partner had lied to you about their past?

Yup. Why would they need to lie? My ex-financee was uncomfortable sharing the number he had slept with, so he just told me so. We got him tested, he was clean. We moved on.



came4U -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:23:17 AM)

of course I lie, sometimes you tell what a guy wants to hear.

oh well..if he meant enough to me, the truth would be told. Only those that knew me well would know the truth.

It is not like I was asked specific on the subject, if so, I 'might' disclose to someone close, but otherwise, if it never came up, it is a non-issue.



camille65 -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:32:10 AM)

I've never had a guy ask me how many partners I've had over my lifetime, a few girlfriends but not a guy.

If asked I would tell the truth, if it comes up I would tell the truth.
If I ask my partner/dom/master whoever I'm with and they lie? You betchya I would be upset. I would want to know why they felt they couldn't be honest with me and work from there.



satyrsnymph28 -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:37:26 AM)

I don't give answers to most questions about my sexual past, aside from that I'm healthy as can be and I'm tested regularly. 

No one needs to know the details..

If they specifically ask me how many partners I've had, that says more about who they are than about who I am... and I would not share that information other than to re-affirm my health and their safety. 





Stephann -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:37:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

of course I like, sometimes you tell what a guy wants to hear.



Exactly my point.  If and when I determine a woman has told me something, because she felt she needed to tell me it's what I wanted to hear, the relationship ends.  Period.

Stephan



ownedgirlie -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:39:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

...sometimes you tell what a guy wants to hear.


This was precisely what ended my Master's relationship with his former slave. She told him what she thought he wanted, rather than her truth.  He didn't know her truth, and made decisions based on untruths which were consequently unhealthy for her as a result, and it ultimately destroyed them.



defiantbadgirl -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:43:54 AM)

edited to avoid offending other posters 



feastie -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:46:02 AM)

I have no reason to lie about it.



came4U -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:47:45 AM)

quote:

Exactly my point.  If and when I determine a woman has told me something, because she felt she needed to tell me it's what I wanted to hear, the relationship ends.  Period.
 



If a person had intent to be with you forever, be honest and be forthcoming, they would never do this.  They know they are lying, whether they get caught or not, they know it.  If some guilt comes later and they disclose, then obviously they love you enough to tell the number of partners they have had and risk losing you (over the lie itslef of the number??).  Hard decision.

and Well, one would only lie to someone who the 'liar' thought was not temporary and unimportant. If you go into a relationship lying there will be a revelation of those facts later on. I refer to lying to those who are not on a longterm agenda.  If the guy had potential to be a stable, he would know the truth or it would never come up. We all do this, at one time or another.

Lying is for the temporary.  Truth is for the keepers. Sorry, to burst any male-ego self-importance bubbles.



sapphirepleasure -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:51:29 AM)

Gawd, I am getting so tired of hearing you go on about 'putting out'. 



defiantbadgirl -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:57:59 AM)

Sorry to offend you. I will change the wording. As to the other, I'm only stating what I have learned through friend's experiences as well as my own.



RoughOnMuff -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:58:36 AM)

The chicken won't tell ... why should I?



defiantbadgirl -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 11:59:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

If a woman isn't willing to have sex right away, she can't expect more than one or two dates........if she can even get a date. If she does, she often never hears from the man again. Meanwhile, her # of sex partners continues to rise. If she's lucky, she will meet a guy that wants a relationship before those numbers get too high. Sooner or later, relationship minded men usually ask the dreaded question. If she is honest and the number is too high, he either tells her he is no longer interested or keeps her a secret, refusing to be seen in public with her, refusing to introduce her to his family and friends. She often ends up being treated like a married man's secret mistress. There are alot of smooth talkers out there. That's no front page news. Women try their best to weed out the players, but we aren't mind readers. The number of men a woman has been with is often based on sheer luck. Women can retain their honesty by quickly changing the subject when it comes up, or simply saying they don't wish to discuss their past. The problem with this approach is, it has the same effect as a woman telling a man she's been with 100 partners or saying she lost count. It's no different than a criminal pleading guilty vs pleading no contest. I'm more honest than most people I know. I don't often find a situation where I think it's best to lie, but this is one of them.



julietsierra -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 12:00:16 PM)

I'll tell the truth, but what's really NOT cool is walking into an event, looking around the room and pointing to your Master, "Him... and him... oh, and there's him...and him, and him, and WOW! Y'know, if I'd have had to tell you this at home, I'd never have remembered him!!"

(No, I've never done that, but sometimes, when watching couples break up and unite with others around here, the thought sometimes crosses my mind. It makes me chuckle.)
I've never been asked. I've never considered asking.

Beyond that, I like sex. I have always liked sex. I have not had as many partners as some. I've had more than others. Some of them, I consider to be rather bad lapses in judgment. Others were there to fill a need at the time. Still others I felt something for. And then there were the very few who I love and have loved. I'm not sorry for any of them. I've enjoyed watching (in retrospect) how my selection process has matured and how my selectivity has deepened. And I enjoy most of the memories.

juliet




Sweetsubbie1 -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 12:04:29 PM)

Who in this day and age with the std's and hiv floating around can afford to lie about their past?.....All i have to say is that i dont and wont if my partner cant handle the truth then they need to take a walk im clean d/d free and plan to stay that way so that means i want no lies from my partner either and if i cant handle it then i need to take a walk thats for sure!!!



Shima13 -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 12:05:31 PM)

it seems to me and this is just my opinion.  if that is one of the most important things a Dom wants to know then he may not be someone i want to know.  personally i don't care how many partners my Daddy had before me.  the only thing that really matters is that he is clean and healthy.  his past is his past, and the same applies to mine.
 
Shima

BOUND BY CHAINS, BUT ABLE TO SOAR



came4U -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 12:06:56 PM)

If a woman has many partners, it is intimidating for a guy. 

Yet, in this lifestyle, some want to call a girl a 'whore' or a 'slut'.  They must think they are being cute. LOL

If they only knew.

Some men can't believe they are not special and move on to being 'the soup of the day'. 

Point is, IF you use these terms, be prepared to learn some truth from the terms as non-play terms that actually have meaning. Anyone who uses these terms for shock effect to a gal, and then finds out she actually finds out she is a slut or a whore HA..he has some growing up to do.  Reality check!

and for those who cannot handle giving or taking the truth are the ones that are dangerous in regards to diseases.  You assume because a girl blushes and (full of lies) and tells you that you are the 3rd in 10 years is cleaner than the professional slut who uses condoms? That is dangerous.  The ones who claim to not lie, are equally as liable of being the liars. 



SunNMoon -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 12:12:19 PM)

I don’t have a reason to lie. I’d just tell the truth. Now if my partner lied, yes I would be upset, it might be grounds for ending the relationship. I want honesty from my partner.

I’m like Prop; I want to know because I want to know what made them who they are. The main things I want to know is when was your last sexual partner, how often did/do you use condoms (and other forms of protection) and when was the last time they were tested in relation to your last sexual partner.



AquaticSub -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 12:18:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
Lying is for the temporary.  Truth is for the keepers. Sorry, to burst any male-ego self-importance bubbles.


That makes no sense to me. When I have a one-night stand and someone lies to me, that just makes me think they have a STD. If you don't want to tell them the truth, just tell them you aren't comfortable.



MstrSkyWoIf -> RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (9/16/2007 12:18:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvet ears

i would not lie but i also would not answer the question as to me it is private and not something i would discuss outside of an established D/s relationship. The past is the past.  Just their asking me would tell me a lot about where their head was at.  Why focus on something that has no relevancy to the present relationship, unless they were looking for a virgin, then i would say well ok i am not your woman and leave. 

It's a silly juvenile question to ask in my eyes. Something HS kids are obsessed about not mature, responsible adults looking for meaningful relationships. 


I would agree with you on this. I feel if someone you are exploring a relationship with cares about your past relationships other then to ask you if you now or in the past have had any STD'S is a sign of someone who is insecure with themselves. At some point in any relationship this comes up but that is after the relationship is established. The way I look at it is if I care about this person and like them for who they are now why should I care about there past as it is what has made them who they are today....



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