TreasureKY
Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
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“Submission is a gift”
In my opinion, it’s a complex idea wrapped in an oversimplified and often misunderstood statement. As it lends itself to misinterpretation, it’s a statement I don’t find useful so it’s one I personally avoid, but I do understand the sentiment behind it… or so I believe.
So what is really meant by “my submission is a gift”?
I think you first have to examine what is commonly accepted as the concept of “gift”. The dictionary gives us several definitions…
1. something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
2. the act of giving.
3. something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned.
4. a special ability or capacity; natural endowment; talent.
Does any one of those definitions represent what people mean when they say submission is a gift?
I don’t believe so… not in its entirety.
Starting with the use of “gift” as meaning the act of giving… I think that’s pretty straight forward. I believe that a lot of submissives wish to convey that they will give their submission to the right dominant, meaning they will consciously grant authority. Can submission be gained in other ways? Yes, and a little further on in this post I’ll touch on those.
I wouldn’t say that all submission is a talent, special ability, or natural endowment, but can just anyone be submissive? I think that depends more upon whether you consider it an act or a state of being.
Generally speaking, everyone performs submissive acts at one time or another during their life. Simply obeying traffic lights can be a submissive act if you are allowing someone to have authority over your actions. What the motivation and response is behind those submissive acts are what I believe ultimately defines whether your submission is merely an act, or if it is your state of being. Given freely or coerced makes the difference here.
Now “given freely” is a complex idea in itself. When I say freely, I’m not talking about agreement. You may accept traffic lights because you feel they are an appropriate requirement for safety and you agree that they should exist. In this case you aren’t submitting to the government’s authority, but rather simply acting on your own belief that just so happens to coincide with what the government intends to enforce upon others who aren’t so willing.
It isn’t ambivalence, either… simply going along because it doesn’t really matter to you one way or another. You may comply with a traffic light simply because it’s there and you don’t really care because it isn’t important enough to adversely affect you.
Compliance that is freely given comes from one who, either consciously or unconsciously, has deferred authority.
Ever been stopped at a traffic light in a deserted area in the middle of the night and asked yourself why you were just sitting there?
lol… I’m one of the fools who will just sit there. I might contemplate running the light… I might even be tempted, but even if I know without doubt there is no one to catch me, I’ll wait until the light turns green.
Anyway, this is why I believe so many submissives make a point of saying that they are submissive… not just behaving in a submissive manner. They are trying to clarify that they are ones who, once authority is granted, submit to that authority rather than just perform submissive acts. It’s a way of highlighting that their submission is a natural endowment and therefore adding value.
Of course, value is assigned not only by the giver, but by the recipient. Unfortunately, that police officer that you graciously accepted a ticket from isn’t likely to think much of your submission… other than to perhaps be grateful for the lack of hassle. However, I think it’s safe to say that most submissives desire that their submission be considered valuable.
This brings us to what I believe trips people up so much… the idea that a gift is generally given voluntarily without it having been earned.
My submission to FirmhandKY can’t really be a gift if I’m expecting him to earn it… right?
I touch on this a bit in my profile when I said, “It [my submission] is inspired when a man proves though his words and actions that he is worthy of my deferral…” Right there I’m saying that he does have to earn my submission. However, at the time I wrote that I hadn’t really solidified in my mind what I was thinking… but I knew where I was going with it.
I went on to further say, “like trust, it is earned and can be broken just the same.” After considering it more, what I wasn’t clear on was that his words and actions earned him my admiration and affection. Those things gave him value to me and because of that value, I would be inspired to submit to him.
So... has he earned my submission?
I suppose, technically, he has… by virtue of the love and trust that he has earned. In my eyes he became worthy of receipt. I will point out that it was a conscious decision to allow him to have authority over me. I have control over my nature and don’t submit to everyone that I love or trust.
I think, when all is said and done, what many submissives are trying to convey by saying their submission is a gift, is that their submission is valuable and is voluntarily given to those they specifically deem worthy of receiving it.
Of course, I don’t expect my diatribe to be the end of this particular subject. 
< Message edited by TreasureKY -- 9/16/2007 10:13:52 AM >
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Submission… the gift that keeps on giving - 
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