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FGB -> RE: Why do so many in this lifestyle lie about their experience level? (9/17/2007 7:22:49 AM)
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Why do people lie about themselves (rather than more a more general why do people lie at all)?
A much cleverer man than Me called Erving Goffman did a lot of work on what he called "face" or impression management. were social beings, we like to fit in and in order to fit in we need to make the right "impression" on our peers. unless your frontal cortex is a soda short of a happy meal, you can probably guess what reaction a statement or action of yours will have, therefore you "manage" your responses to acheive a desired effect in your social network (I can swear like a trooper, but I know it wont go down well at a dinner party)
so we lie about ourselves, we all do to a greater or lesser extent because we care how people view us (example, how many times when they interview a serial killers neighbours, as the heads in the freezers are being counted, do they say "oh he was such a nice quiet man" when inside he obviously was anything but?).
so, they lie about their experience to create the right impression, hoping that when it comes to the crunch they can wing it and noone will notice.....and Ill be honest here (or am I?) I had no experience as Dom the first time I tied someone up and flogged them. I had on the other hand spent a lot of time reading up on it cos lets face it, you can find how to make a nuke on t'internet, flogging advice aint that difficult to find..and I practiced on a cushion. I kept safety and respect foremost and it went off withoout a hitch (ok, perhaps a couple of clove hitches ;) ) and Ive never looked back....try to run before you can crawl and youll fall over but a slow steady pace wins the race.
And heres the crunch about impression management, online you can be anything because the things you CANT manage (looks, age, weight, hideously buck teeth etc) can all be successfully managed up to the point of meeting, so some people are more than happy to make the most of it, living a life online they simply cant have in r/t for whatever reason
Its not right, it can hurt, and its deceit...welcome to the wonderful world of people and what they hide inside behind the smiles and come to bed eyes
and thank y'all for taking the time to read My first ever ramble on here
"the measure of a man lies in what he laughs at"
Johann Wolfgan Von Goethe
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