Beyond Understanding

caitlyn...a person who has been abused can be healed. In all likelihood they will be an empath, or a rescuer, or some other form of postivity turned a bit high will remain, as will the memories. However, abused people do not in every case abuse others in their care..some become great parents and loving partners.

To some degree it depends on the nature and extent of the abuse, and the relationship between the abused person and the abuser...physical/sexual abuse of a child by a parent is the most extreme. The person most necessary for the child's survival turns on the child and becomes a source of danger. This creates a great chasm of confusion and sorrow in the child...but nevertheless, no one is doomed to seek out abusive men to renact the abuse and thus feel a "type of love".

Whether you are alone or involved now, caitlyn, you can be helped. If you seek help and extend yourself, you can have a happy adulthood even after a miserable childhood.

i wish you the best.

pinkpleasures

I love this sentance!

It is so beautiful to realise that something that may appear broken, isn't really, just different.
I have lots of objects that I use that other people deem as useless - but I just use them (usually ) for something else. I, and they, adapt.

Even with the broken glass, there is hope and possibility. It can be recycled, or those tiny pieces that were once one can be used for something else - all it takes is adaptation.

Of course, the glass has got to want to be adapted - and even strengthened at times, usually using itself - but it has to want to do that, it has to have the right tools, else it just crumbles and disappears, no matter how skilled the artists might be in assisting its evolution.

Peace

You cannot help her move on - you can be there - support her - but you can't do anything. It is up to her to take that step. Not even the most patient, wonderful caring Dominant in the world can'heal ' her - it has to be up to her to let go of the past - learn from the mistakes and the hurt and not look back but look forward.

You can be there to sweep up the glass and gather it together - but to become something else, the glass has to give under the flame... to allow itself to be moulded - to allow its shape to change - to be willing to become something else - otherwise it will just become too hot and brittle and be prone to being shattered again.

Peace and Love

i completely agree with dark angel, cheryl; no one can cause change in someone else; the motivation must come from within each of us. If this is someone dear to you, what you can do is accept her as she is, without judging her, and thus provide her with at least one person who finds her to be a person of worth and dignity, rather than a person-in-waiting. If she ever demonstrates a want/need to change, you can certainly support her; help her locate a BDSM-friendly therapist, etc.

As for your question, can a Dom heal wounds inflicted on a submissive in childhood? i cannot truthfully answer. Certainly there is greater trust and intimacy achievable between a Dominant and a submissive than outside BDSM. However, Dominants are not mental health professionals; so i suppose it would depend on whether experiencing trust and intimacy would, by itself, effect a healing. For some submissives it probably would; for others, no, i think professional help would be a necessary part of a recovery to the point of a full and happy adulthood. Bear in mind what a range of behaviors is captured by the term "abuse" and the different personalities little children have. No one can say with authority that, yes, every submissive could be healed by the right Dominant.

pinkpleasures