Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2)

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Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:17:30 AM

teamnoir

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Earlier, (http://www.collarchat.com/m_1279945/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm), we were asked how many people lie about their number of sexual partners when asked.

It seems to me that number of partners speaks to a certain breadth of experience. Another interesting question would be to depth of experience which might comparably be gauged by asking how long was someone's longest long term relationship.

Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering, how many people would lie about the length of their longest term relationship? And are you the same folks or different folks than the ones who'd lie about numbers of partners?

Post #: 1

RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:24:23 AM

RCdc

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I don't lie about anything in my past. Lying sucks and if some one cannot accept me for what I was and am now, then they are quite clearly not people I want in my life.
Time is precious and too valuable to waste with lies.

Peace
the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:24:24 AM

Stephann

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From: Portland, OR
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Out of curiousity, why all the parallel posts? It only bumps down other interesting conversation in a sensationalist fashion.

I'm picking on you Noir, because it's a growing trend (I think.) We saw it with the age thing, the submission thing, and now this?

Honestly now, if your question is interesting enough to answer, why not just put it on the thread where obviously nine pages of discussion indicate it's quite lively?

Stephan

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Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to teamnoir)

Post #: 3

RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:24:25 AM

missturbation

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But the question here has to be how long does a relationship have to be before it is classed as long term?
For me personally i've never managed past around six month except once when i was married, and then i only managed that long because we had a um.
Triple figure sexual partners (can't remember exactly) and no i would never lie.

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:29:17 AM

RCdc

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The amount of sexual partners is different from the amount of longest term relationship. If he had started talking about it on the other thread, wouldn't he be accused of not keeping to the threads OP? But to me, a lies a lie - whatever the subject hey.

Ach - ya can never win when posting on CM...

Peace
the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:31:20 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: teamnoir
Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering, how many people would lie about the length of their longest term relationship? And are you the same folks or different folks than the ones who'd lie about numbers of partners?

Still wouldn't lie. I had a whole bunch of really short relationships, two that made it to almost a year (both ended in or just before the 11th month, if I remember correctly) and Valyraen and I are starting to plan our two year dinner.

If someone wants to know the how and why of the relationships ending, I'll be honest - even if that being honest is "I really don't feel comfortable talking about it right now. We just didn't work out."

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to teamnoir)

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:33:45 AM

Stephann

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

The amount of sexual partners is different from the amount of longest term relationship. If he had started talking about it on the other thread, wouldn't he be accused of not keeping to the threads OP? But to me, a lies a lie - whatever the subject hey.

Ach - ya can never win when posting on CM...

Peace
the.dark.

Nah, it's the same basic question.

(shrug)

I answered it over on the other thread, I won't bother with more typing practice.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to RCdc)

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:34:01 AM

breatheasone

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I've been married for 24 years(well in Dec it will be 24 years) LOL why on earth would ANYONE lie about that!

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:35:42 AM

RRafe

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I don't lie-few lasted more than a year. Then again, I wasn't seeking anything long term or comitted. I do find it rather odd at how many people think how long is all it's about. I have friends who have hung on to truly horrible relationships for decades. Is being dissatisfied for a long time somehow "successful"?

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 9:54:30 AM

Aneirin

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I have not answered on the other post, so I shall here. I deem myself honest in all things, I am honest. I cannot see the point in lying, a lie will only come back to haunt in the future, and if someone did lie about their past, really who are they lying to, their partner or is it really about something the liar dislikes about themselves? All experiences are necessary to become who we are today.

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 10

RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 10:10:20 AM

DomN8USlave

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I would never lie about my past. Besides, all the partners that I've had, made me what I am today.

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Married on May 8th, 2001

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Post #: 11

RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 10:20:02 AM

RRafe

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I think one of the more amusing things is this.

Subs often require a "Dom with lots of experience." Then they find out how many partners he or she had to GET that experience-and go "ewwwwww....."

Just another cognitive dissonance I guess. I mean really-what did they expect?

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Post #: 12

RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 10:23:47 AM

privatelives

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From: UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I have not answered on the other post, so I shall here. I deem myself honest in all things, I am honest. I cannot see the point in lying, a lie will only come back to haunt in the future, and if someone did lie about their past, really who are they lying to, their partner or is it really about something the liar dislikes about themselves? All experiences are necessary to become who we are today.

i think that is the best way to be!
life is a rollercoaster, live it & love it...never be ashamed of who Y/you are or where Y/youve been!!
(red)

-edited- cos i forgot half of what i was sayin, but hey, im blonde...so sue me! lol

< Message edited by privatelives -- 9/18/2007 10:28:06 AM >

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 10:26:58 AM

BBWnNC72

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i dont lie about my past. i may not like it or i am a liitle ashamed at times, but why lie. besides i am a terrible lier and people tend to know right away anyways so what is the point?
kat

(in reply to privatelives)

Post #: 14

RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 10:57:39 AM

celticlord2112

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Quite frankly, the whole question is absurd. The past is the past. And generally should be left there.

My past is like everyone else's. There are things I'm proud of, and things I'm ashamed of. Both together make me the person I am today.

Regardless of the past, whomever I am with is relating to the person I am today.

If I'm going to be judged for who I was, the person judging is likely not going to be around me for very long. Judge who I am now, or go away.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 11:02:16 AM

xoxi

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This I've never lied about. Then again I've only been asked once. But I wouldn't see a point in lying, at best I said "I honestly don't remember" because I'm not huge with anniversaries (especially since I never know when to count them from. The day we met? The day we first made out? First had sex? First called him my boyfriend?) so if I'm talking about my past relationships in general I don't know if it was a year and a half, a year and three quarters, or a year and five months. I just say "I don't know exactly, about a year and a half," and they're cool with that. I hope. Unless they're a huge anniversary person. Then we are in for a problem

And I see the point of making a new thread about this...it is a different question, and there are plenty of people who just answered the question in the other one and never looked back. Why ask someone to wade through 9 pages of replies just to find out "oh someone else cares about something else now"?

(in reply to BBWnNC72)

Post #: 16

RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 11:03:08 AM

GhitaAmati

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Why the hell would i lie about anything? Now...depending on who it is that is doing the asking...I may mention something along the lines of "thats really none of your business"...thats basically my same answer to the number of parters question......but for the most part..anyone who really doesnt need to know that sort of information isnt going to be asking..Im careful to not volunteer that sort of information if its not really an appropriate conversation for the situation....and anyone who really does have enough of a relationship with me to be asking those sorts of questions...of course Im not gonna lie....what the hell is that gonna get me? Besides...most of you know Im a total slut and if I tried to tell yall I only had 10 sexual partners in my life youd be coughing up bullshit for the next 30 minutes.....

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I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 11:16:45 AM

gypsygrl

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Nobody's ever asked me either of these two questions directly. I suck with details, so when I talk about how long I was with my ex-husband, the 'how long' can range anywhere from 11 to 16 years. I cut myself slack because I'm something of a historian, and anything having to do with time and whats past is always fuzzy, so its not really lying. The 11 year figure excludes the dating period and starts counting from marriage to separation. The 16 year figure includes both dating and the time after the separation untill the divorce. Basically, we dated 2 years (though lived together for much of that time so it wasn't really dating) were married and living together for 11 years and spent 5 years divorcing. We had a really good relationship for about 8 years. Got on ok for about 3 years and barely tolerated each other for 2 or 3 years.

I had one bf before I met my ex-husband, and that lasted from the time I was 15 until I went away to college. Since my separation from my husband, I had had a 2 longer term relationships lasting over a year, and a couple of shorter term things that lasted less than 6 months (I cant really call them relationships) and a few one nighters (not relationships). Then there's the ones that can't be categorized or that I've totally forgotten about.

I have more 'relationship' experience than sexual experience.

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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 11:17:24 AM

ownedgirlie

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~ FR ~

First, I don't lie, and I won't lie to him, period.

Second, I believe the past is not just the past, but very much a part of who we are today. History repeats itself unless we learn from it. How many threads do we see from women who say "I keep picking the wrong type of guy and I don't know why." Too many to count, I say.

My Master wanted to know everything. He was mostly interested in what brought me into a particular relationship or encounter, how it affected me, and what led me out of it. Why? Because he wanted to prevent the same problems from happening with us. As I relayed my life to him, he pointed out some notable patterns that I had not even realized. You can't stop unhealthy behavior unless you know what it is. And sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. Some people never recognize their own unhealthy behaviors. I'm quite grateful the man who was considering owning me wanted to know who and what it was he was taking ownership of.

It worked well for us. Three years later, I'm not complaining about it.

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

Post #: 19

RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? (Part 2) - 9/18/2007 11:33:34 AM

Ponyboy7

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Who I was in the past held the potential for all that I could become. Who I was and what I experienced in the past have helped make me who I am today. I do not want to judged by my past, but neither am I ashamed of it because, to me, being ashamed of my past is akin to feeling shame for parts of who I am. That being said, I am a fairly private person by nature, and I do not like to share a lot of my personal history with just anyone. However, if I know someone well, I have no problem sharing my past and answering any question s/he has about it. I would certainly never lie about the length of my relationships, or anything else, to someone I cared about. If I do not know a person well enough to feel comfortable sharing, I would simply say that.

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To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

Blake

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

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