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RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/19/2007 6:38:59 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Master has given me two safe words to use...yellow and red...these are fairly common safe words from what i understand. To me personally...if i went to yellow...and Master kept going....then i got to red....and Master STILL kept going...TO ME  that would show a blatant disregard for my well being and safety. I would seriously (me personally)  question a so called master that could or would ignore a safe word from someone they supposedly care about. This is just my personal opinion.
Edited to add: I trust my Master totally. Because i have put my trust in Him so completely He would never abuse that trust by blatantly ignoring a safe word HE gave me to use.


< Message edited by breatheasone -- 9/19/2007 6:54:53 AM >

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RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/19/2007 6:50:03 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		On the other hand do you not trust your Master to be able to judge when you are 'really' using your safe word or just 'think' you need to use your safe word.
For me discussions like this one are all about levels of trust. (only my opinion). Safewords, limits, no limits, pushing limits - they all require for me explicit trust in my partner and if i dont have that trust what have i got?
 

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RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/19/2007 7:36:31 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		We don't play edgy so he doesn't have to worry about accidentally causing me harm if I didn't use a safeword. But for people who do play that close to the edge, the tops need to know that the bottom will call enough. Just as you don't want brain damage from being deprived of oxygen, he doesn't want to do that to you. Or break a bone from hitting too hard.

More importantly here is that you are not a failure for not calling red, you showed him how much you can take, you gave him the information he needed. My only caveat is that he should have told you ahead of time what he was doing because if you hadn't of figured it out, you might have allowed him to harm you.

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RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/19/2007 3:48:04 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I don't know about that, I trust my partner or I wouldn't be with him, but there are things he just cannot know.  He can't always see soreness or injury.  I have rarely used a safeword, and generally feel that sense of failure when I do, but if I believe something may cause a trip to the ER which would be a very difficult situation for both of us, I will use it.

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RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/19/2007 3:57:53 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onmykneesb4Him
This helps me see it from a stretching limits point of view, which i'm OK with.

i have no experience with the BBQ brush, although there is one in the garage. Hmmmmm.


LOL

If it is used, you may not want to experiment with it.  But it makes a great impact toy or abrasion play toy.  The metal bristles are just intense.

quote:

So instead of relying on a safeword, you would just point blank say "i've had enough?". We thought about doing that, but it seemed like too much to wrap my brain around when it's off in subspace. Also, we thought it would be too easy to interpret that as part of play. "Please stop" might not mean that at all for us. And that would be confusing.


If I have had enough, then yes, I would say that I didn't think I could take anymore.  However, that doesn't mean that he will stop play if he does not want to stop.  Our first puplic play, I did tell him that I didn't want anymore and he kept playing for awhile.  Play stops when he wants it to stop and only asking for release will stop it when I want it to stop. 

He does not allow us to go into subspace very often.  It ruins the experience for him if we are off in la la land and not actually feeling the pain.  I also do not talk that much in play; well except for calling him names and taunting him.

Often we use the thumbs up or down to indicate how we are doing.  A pat on his head will let him know everything is good too.  He decides based on his perception and our feed back whether to continue or stop play.  Then when we play to red, which is not often, not getting back into position communicates to him that we think we have had enough. 

Knight's Kyra

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RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/20/2007 6:24:51 AM   
peterK50


Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline 		If you need a safe word then you're not very safe

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RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/20/2007 9:45:33 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		No.  We don't use a "safeword".  Master controls the implements...and this slave submits to Him fully, doesn't hold back anything or try to figure out just exactly what it is He wants when He is using His slave in a manner of His choosing.

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/20/2007 4:28:36 PM   
onmykneesb4Him


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you for all the replies.

Just to clarify, i do trust Him completely, and for me that includes the fact that i know He will stop when i'm truly at a point where i need Him to. i have absolutely no problem with people not having safewords. We didn't think we would use one at first, but it seemed like a good way to communicate when doing so another way is difficult. i'm going to talk to Him about fine tuning it a bit~ yellow, then red, or something along those lines. i don't know if He'll agree, but it makes sense to me.

The BBQ brush, yes it does sound very intense. Not something i would enjoy every day, but the abrasion thing kind of appeals to me.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/20/2007 9:38:05 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peterK50

If you need a safe word then you're not very safe


Ffs, however did you dream that up? I dunno, but The Man has never exhibited any ability to read my mind. He has never predicted that I was going to have a sneezing fit requiring ten tissues. Nor that my left foot which is prone to cramps for no reason has suddenly cramped up again out of nowhere.

Plus I'm gagged a lot, so there goes that just use a full sentence. I need a safe gesture so he can remove the gag and I can then explain that I feel a sneeze coming on, or that my foot's cramped up and ask him to rub it out.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/21/2007 5:28:21 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peterK50

If you need a safe word then you're not very safe


i disagree.  Sir cant see that i can feel a muscle spasm coming on, or that my hip is locking up, or that i need to slow things down to a crawl because i'm getting overwhelmed.  if i cant tell him his property is in distress, how is he to know?  its *my* responsibility to take care of his property.

kitten

(in reply to peterK50)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Pushing to use the safeword? - 9/21/2007 9:11:26 AM   
peterK50


Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline 		I wasn't trying to be flip. Unforseen things do arise. If you choose a Dom/me who knows his or her sub is 100 lbs overweight, prone to cramps, asthma etc.& actually pays attention to the subs' responses then the safe word may not be necessary bu is still a good idea. The tenor of my post should have been interpreted more as it'll take more then a word to keep you safe.

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