RE: I'm being judgemental

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: I'm being judgemental - apologies !!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: I'm being judgemental - apologies !!

Page: << < prev 5 6 7 8 [9]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: I'm being judgemental - apologies !! - 10/13/2007 11:40:19 AM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

With respect this does not show the trust aspects involved in having safewords. How does having those words in place show trust for you?

That someone is willing to session with me or whatever, shows trust.

The protocol is simply a way to cover the formality of consent withdrawal during session play, as well as communicating things that I do not want to miss under any circumstance, such as medical emergencies or the need to check on something like restraints that might be too tight or the like. In session play, it can also convey the need for a breather, which I might miss with someone I'm not used to. Trust doesn't figure into it, really.

Although, I guess you could say the proper use of such a protocol implies trustworthiness.

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to missturbation)

Profile

Post #: 161

RE: I'm being judgemental - apologies !! - 10/13/2007 11:44:57 AM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: teamnoir

I also trust that none of my partners are completely perfect mind readers.

Bingo.

While it occasionally seems like it with my girl, that's the product of just shy of a decade getting to know each other. Sessioning with a total stranger, there is no way I'm going to trust myself to pick up on every little nuance of what is going on with them in a timely manner. And there is no way I'm going to entrust my ability to care for my girl to a random stranger by trusting them not to make a fuss if something goes too far without a protocol.

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to teamnoir)

Profile

Post #: 162

RE: I'm being judgemental - apologies !! - 10/13/2007 2:26:49 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Okay this is a Fast reply because it seems things have been argued a lot on this thread and I saw one I though had not and just wanted to share it.

I know we said Safe Words and why they are used and I know many people who have them and never use them. My slaves safe word is "Pizza" it has never been said but there is a reason she has it.

andi's safe word is for her to tell me that she isn't feeling right. That I know what I am doing but it is affecting her differently than it usually does. The Heart is an Organ that reacts to when is processed into it like with any drug dopeamine (SP?) can affect the heart differently one time then it does another. If she is feeling strange I need to know. safe words aren't about trust they are about safety. You can see when someone isn't feeling well on a St Andrews Cross but you cant see it on a Massage Table or on a Hobby Horse or a Spanking Bench, not always so the safe word is her way of saying I know what I usually feel like and I know you aren't trying to hurt me but something is wrong.

We have a safe word but so that you know eventually they don't work either and I'll tell you why. I have known slaves who say "If my Master told me to jump off a building or walk across glass bare foot I would." In the beginning I saw it as being ridiculas but as time progressed I thought "Oh, it's because they trust thier Master enough that they knew that if he said it then it would be only to save thier lives" like jumping off a building because it was on fire or walking across glass bearfoot because it was the only way to bring them to safety. Today I realize that there is a place that some slaves get to where the thought of being displeasing to thier Master is more painful then what they are being asked to do. Or they have an Obey or leave structure and the thought of being without thier Master is more painful then the fall would be so they do what they are told and are fully willing to any time they are told.

The point there being there is offten a time in most Master slave relationships where even if they have a safe word and it should be said a slave won't because she feels it will equate to her failing her Master. Silly but true. Honestly a safe word should be about trust it should be about a persons well being. Remember always that Sadist means deriving pleasure from the act of inflicting pain, IT NEVER SAYS THEY HAVE TO CARE ABOUT THIER TARGET. In this lifestyle we do care but it is not a prerequisite so for god sakes KNOW YOUR PARTNER and it is NEVER A BAD IDEA TO BE SAFE!!!

As Always

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Aswad)

Profile

Post #: 163