SolarAndViolet
Posts: 85
Joined: 8/26/2007 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: missturbation What I don't get is how you equate having limits, which are nothing more than human preferences in things they do or don't enjoy, things that turn them off, to lacking trust. See for me i am required to do things i may not enjoy. If i said to Sir 'i really don't like anal very much' (i do but just an example) He would laugh at me and say 'well i do so tough'. You see.. so here is the question. How would he -KNOW- the things I do not want happen, unless I tell him? He's not a mind-reader. If I don't tell him - "I don't like *this and this*, it makes me sick to my stomach, it's a total turn off " He will never know and will assume that he can do those things. And if he doesn't know, how can I trust him not to do those things if I never told him my likes and dislikes. From the very beginning we discuss things we like and don't like, both agree on it and from that moment on, we trust each other completely to uphold our agreement. I don't go on telling him and reminding him of limits every time we play. I've stated them once, he's accepted it and that's It. He knows them. And I fully trust him not to do them. I'm going to repeat what I have said before because I believe that is in the essence a problem to your understanding. And I'm really just trying to help. You say that you don't have limits, and that's fine. As I understand, you are ok with everything, even if you don't like it but your Dom does as long as it is not "consequential to your health" (figured I might as well use your own words). But, many people DO have limits.. and many Doms don't want to do most things their subs define as a 'turn off'. They tell each other what those things are and agree from the start. Then, they put full trust into each other to not do them. Problem for you to understand is that you apply what people tell you, to yourself and your situation. But that way you will never understand because your situation is different from many others. You just have to see it from a different point of view instead of being stuck in your "I have no limits, i don't know my limits.." Trust for people with limits is no less than that of people without limits. Plain and simple. 'violet'
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Vici, Vidi, Veni... (S) Happy to be owned by Sir (V) (violetaelf)
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