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Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 12:00:11 PM   
e01n


Posts: 1472
Status: offline 		spun off from page 3 of http://www.collarchat.com/m_1286414/tm.htm

Idea: critique YOUR profile using the criteria you use for others.

Be honest! Be brutal! None of this namby-pamby compassion business!

Critiquing others will brand you as an illiterate idiot who pays no attention to the OP and is worthy of the scorn you shall receive, capisce?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 12:01:23 PM   
e01n


Posts: 1472
Status: offline 		Moody picture... angry look... Wm. S. Burroughs quote... interesting, a bit pretentious though. Probably secretly like comic books and lives in his mother's basement... in the dark.

"Emotionally unavailable" - sounds like he's more trouble than he's worth. And what's this Lake County thing supposed to mean? An in-joke of some type?

Okay - this explains much - "friends only"... implies that either this douchebag only wants to talk to people... or he's mastered the art of attracting women through the gravity caused by his mass...

Wow - lots of pervy things in the checklist thingy... some "expert" even... but by who's standards and criteria, eh?

Hard limits - these are laughable. I mean RenFairs and SCA as "expert" Hard Limits? WTF?

(in reply to e01n)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 12:05:34 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		edited because I did.


< Message edited by beargonewild -- 9/19/2007 12:23:30 PM >

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to e01n)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 12:14:21 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		don't have much on my profile for anyone to critique ...it's contains very little info as i decide whether or not i delete it and create a joint one with my SO (who'll be my Dom when the time comes).

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 12:20:31 PM   
SuspendedInGaffa


Posts: 188
Joined: 8/17/2007
From: Wales, UK
Status: offline 		A newbie? At his age? Guaranteed cyber-wanker.

Oh look, he's put "knitting" as a hard limit in a desperate attempt to look wacky and interesting. Ha fucking ha.

No photo? I think we know why that is, don't we?

And if he's that curious about all those things in his "curious" list, why doesn't he get off his fat ass and actually try one of 'em? Twat.

In summary: 350lb beer monster who lives in a trailer with his mom. His three best friends are his games console, the internet and his wrist.

Form an orderly queue, ladies...

_____________________________

I wormed my way into the heart of the crowd
I was shocked to find what was allowed

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 12:22:12 PM   
CandyLover


Posts: 68
Joined: 6/5/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds fun, I'll give it a paragraph-by-paragraph try on my profile:

"I have a life, and I enjoy it."  If she had a life, why would she be wasting time online all day?

No interest in sex?  Selfish prude who just wants her kinks fulfilled while ignoring her partner's needs.

Sounds like a total elitist, not considering anyone outside of Southern California and making cracks about how everywhere else is Podunk.

Oh, some more kink stuff in the next paragraph, maybe she's typing with one hand.  Cosplay is just an excuse to wear stuff that looks like maid outfits while avoiding housework.  Wants to have her cake and eat it too.  If she's willing to trade kink time with another sub, she must be totally desperate.

She wants to know what BDSM stuff I'm interested in yet doesn't even list her BDSM interests on the side of the profile?  Must be a total pervert if all she wants to hear about on the first message is that.

Stupid stereotyping excuse for not using Yahoo messenger, maybe it's just a lame way to put her cup size in her profile.  I can tell she's not a real woman because she used to watch GI-Joe.

Collectible card games and manga?  Nerd alert!  I ought to pre-emptively block her before she casts Magic Missile on me.

(in reply to e01n)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 12:23:19 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		Your work is puerile and under-dramatised. You lack any sense of structure, character, or the Aristotelian unities.



(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 12:34:08 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		mine sucks, it attracts nigerians (who never look at it) and I am in profile hell for all time.

Dante Alighieri

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 1:42:56 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Bored horny housewife with fake pictures

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 1:52:55 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		 

ROFLMAO..............  nh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

_____________________________

Click here for GREAT discussion on living this real-time.

How to use Code on Collarme

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 1:57:18 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		i got so disgusted on aol, i changed my profile to read as follows.....

im fat and havent suppressed a fart or belch since my ex left 5 years ago......im also a sex maniac.....so if youre blind, with short term memory loss, have a hot tub and massage oils, i love you....not that fake aol love-its real i swear.....

i get IM's from dudes who get pissy i wont meet them for a quick bj-tell me talk is cheap and im a fake for not following up what my profile promises....

gawd i love the internet-lmfao-such cheap entertainment...

wait...maybe ill change my collarme profile to say the same.......sorta like castin a hook in fresh waters.....

hmmmmmmmmm

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 1:57:47 PM   
scifi1133


Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline 		hmmm profile name must be an hng.....has probably never seen a woman naked.
no info in profile must mean that he has nothing intelligent to say.
pic of man on harley obviously faked with the name of the profile......probably his brother or something.
here to network must mean no actual real world experience and he is just trying to wank to stories about other peoples experiences.

rotflmao....nice this was fun now I have to change my profile some lmao.
Chris

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 2:09:40 PM   
sweetNsmartBBW


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		No picture and a bbw....must be fricking HUGE...

She's looking for friendship and good conversation?  What is this, a book club???

Definitely a bored housewife- and so dang wordy- would likely never get in a word with this one- she can blabber on and on!

Old fashioned values and thinks this is not about sex?  Not just a bored housewife, a Puritanical bored housewife...

Monogamous, not bi, vanilla demeanor- and looking for a LTR.   Wow...she sounds fun...NOT.

Does this profile NEVER end?

< Message edited by sweetNsmartBBW -- 9/19/2007 2:12:51 PM >

(in reply to scifi1133)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 2:16:11 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		iammachine? she must be a SEX machine!! unf unf

wow, she has a lot of different looks. is she a chameleon?

"My interests are varied, with varied experience levels to match." Noob!

"If what you are looking to share consists of a sexual relationship, any sort of romantic commitment, or a TPE, I am afraid that I would prefer that these desires be directed elsewhere." So what DOES she want? Fuckin' prude.

"don't forget about your mythical friend the blue raccoon! " WTF is a blue raccoon?








_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to scifi1133)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 2:25:23 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Winsome defiance?  Why don't you just call yourself a brat!  Charming defiance my ass.

Get the thumb out of your mouth!  What are you, two?

Former Pro Domme.  Must be a money grubbing wanna be Domme.

Not looking to be collared.  Just begging for it!

Looking for male slaves.  Fat and lazy

(I didn't have to critique my profile.  Someone sent me an email saying pretty  much most of this LOL!)


(in reply to iammachine)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 2:51:44 PM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Militant angry anti-relationship black chic.  Probably had her uterus removed.  Nothing a good enema won't cure.

Only here for the message  boards.    A dreamer, actually expects to find something informative on a site over populated with wankers.  Sure your right.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 3:00:43 PM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		Kinda fat, for an ol’ broad
Doesn’t talk enough about sex; must be frigid!
Jezuz; whips and knives…is she nuts?
Loves watersports?  Yup, she’s nuts!
She’s not a domme; just a top? …she’s a wimp!
She wants a tribute?  OMG…she’s a ProDom!
She has boobs and boots; I don’t NEED to read her profile I’ll (a married bi boy of 20 who lives across the country, is afraid of pain and gacks at the idea of pee but wants to play forced-fem), write and ask her to cyber me!!!

_____________________________

A must read for submissives! (click here)

This one, as well!

(in reply to RosaB)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 3:02:09 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Too many pics; must be a switch!
Likes ‘lifestyle’; must be an exhibitionist and pretty easy, too!
Gawd…what she wants IS a god; I’m not good enough for her cuz I’m new
Joined ’04; must be a looser!!!
I wonder WHERE she is in CO?
She has the same boots as MsBearlee; I bet they're the same person...
...who is she kidding???

_____________________________

Click here for GREAT discussion on living this real-time.

How to use Code on Collarme

(in reply to MsBearlee)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 4:10:33 PM   
SeanPony


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		What a crazy petting zoo frequenting asshole! Never updated a fucking thing. Just sod off ya Irish bastard!

only cool thing is the link to free movies.

http://joox.net/cat/2/id/1181371

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Rip your profile a new one! - 9/19/2007 4:36:45 PM   
LDRandAstarte


Posts: 504
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmmm. handsome guy... She can spank me too.
Not a lot of info about themselvs, must be boring as hell!
Listed alot of thier likes, dislikes and such, but the hard limit on golf makes me wonder if it's all fake.
The journal at the end sounds like losers to me, sore losers at that!
Although the outlined evening sounds like a blast!

_____________________________

When I die, I want to go like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like the other three passengers in his car.

(in reply to SeanPony)
Profile   Post #: 20
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