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A death in the family. - 7/19/2005 7:09:01 PM   
fourpeas


Posts: 243
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline 		Hi all,

my grandfather passed away really suddenly today and I just need to talk about it. I have no regrets about our relationship; I spent so much time with him and loved him dearly. He was not senile and didn't have a prolonged illness. I just feel really sad and sorrowful because I just wanted to tell him one last time how much I loved him and how much he meant to me.

He knows this. I know that he knew. I just wanted to say it. I feel pretty sad. If anyone has any wisdom on getting through a situation like this please share. I live far away from my family too and feel sad about not being able to be there on quick notice.

thanks everyone.
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RE: A death in the family. - 7/19/2005 7:14:59 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		Big Hug
I am sorry about your loss.
I wish I had some words of wisdom to make you feel better, but I know from experience there are no words that help.

Take care, you will be in my thoughts.

(in reply to fourpeas)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: A death in the family. - 7/19/2005 7:16:55 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Remember to Eat and Drink (not meaning alcohol) unless you want a few. Talk to family members and see if you can get there otherwise just talk to family members and friends and ask some friends or bf or gf or Dom to stay over for a few days.

(in reply to fourpeas)
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RE: A death in the family. - 7/19/2005 7:36:23 PM   
Isolde


Posts: 213
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Hamilton, Ontario
Status: offline 		Find a balance between time for yourself alone with your memories and time with your loved ones, talking to them. It's easier said than done, I know, but having gone through the grieving process multiple times in the past few years, it's probably the most helpful advice I can offer from my own experience. You do need that quiet time but too much of it can twist your grief into something unhealthy. The same with being around those you care about, especially those who are also grieving. Talking helps, remembering him out loud helps, but only to a point.

My thoughts are with you. If you need to talk, even to a stranger, please feel free to email me on the other side of the site. *hugs*

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: A death in the family. - 7/19/2005 7:41:09 PM   
sanita


Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		my grandfather passed away suddenly back in October. sometimes, i still cry a bit for my mom, for my grandmom, for me... but it is ok.

here's what i have as advice:

cry when you need to, and don't ever feel bad for smiling when you start talking about him, or about being glad to see other people that love him.

when people ask how you're doing, tell the truth.

at work, sometimes, you just have to excuse yourself, and go cry. it will happen less often each week, though.

at the funeral or memorial, listen to the stories people tell about him. it was amazing to me, to learn so much about my grandfather as a young man, and as a father. and i thought i knew him. those stories are treasures for me.

if someone you are comfortable with offers a hug, take it.

and if you need some time for yourself, to be in your own private sad, and not have to try to bear up for others who are hurting, too... take the time.

drink lots of water, you'll cry a lot of tears, and do not need to get sick.

i am so sorry you lost your grandfather. take this advice for what it is worth. it will not make it easier, it will not take away the pain, but it may help you keep putting one foot in front of the other for a while.

i wish you well, and peace to you and your family. you will get there as you can.

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to fourpeas)
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RE: A death in the family. - 7/19/2005 10:12:47 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

my grandfather passed away really suddenly today and I just need to talk about it.


I'm sorry for your loss fourpeas, it's never easy.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to fourpeas)
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RE: A death in the family. - 7/20/2005 1:13:30 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sorry for your loss Fourpeas. Hugs... M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to fourpeas)
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RE: A death in the family. - 7/20/2005 6:38:08 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		My sympathies for your loss.

Oumae



_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to fourpeas)
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RE: A death in the family. - 7/20/2005 6:21:38 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		I can't begin to know the depth of your loss, but please know that my thoughts are with you.

Take care,




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to fourpeas)
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RE: A death in the family. - 7/22/2005 5:46:14 AM   
Sweeticing


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/30/2004
Status: offline 		I am sorry you have loss someone close to you. I just loss my father in January. I havent stopped thinking about him. It helps to talk if you want but never seems like other people can help other then listen. ( not that listening is a bad thing its what you really need ) there really are no words that seem to help. My dad had lung cancer I knew it was bad but didnt think it was going to be his last moment with me when he went to bed that night. I never got to say good bye either. I think it helps if you have something that was there's that you can keep then you feel like a part of them is still with you. It seems to get worse before it gets better , But it does get better dont rush yourself into thinking you can only be sad for a certain amount of time.

_____________________________

quote:


"What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print."...


quote:

"Imagination is more important than knowledge" Albert Einstein..

(in reply to fourpeas)
Profile   Post #: 10
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