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what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:33:51 PM   
ophelialocke


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline 		OK this has probably been covered a bunch but I couldn't think of the right phrase to search for earlier posts...

For those in D/s or M/s relationships, what do you tell vanilla friends or family members you are to each other?

To be scientific and neutral, I won't give my own details on the matter .
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:40:18 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		*S* depends on who it is and what they ask.  I offer up little.  But if you ask, I'll tell.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to ophelialocke)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:40:24 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		To family- "The one I'm in a relationship with" 

To friends- whatever applies, master, slave, toy, etc.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ophelialocke)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:44:03 PM   
onmykneesb4Him


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		We're married, so i just call Him my Husband. i've had a couple bad experiences, so if you're vanilla, you don't get to know.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:47:06 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		I tend to use the word "partner" as there is an emotional committment and financial ties...for those who get to know me well they just call Her K and ask me how the Lady in Charge is...my family..well my choosen family knows and my blood family I have little to say to to begin with so there's no worries there lol

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:50:30 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

For those in D/s or M/s relationships, what do you tell vanilla friends or family members you are to each other?


My family knows of my lifestyle and respect it so I just tell them the truth.  My Master has to be more discreet, and I'm not sure how they explain me.  They usually just introduce me by name, but I don't know if there's any backchannel conversation that I'm not privy to.  Master's married, so introducing me as his gf or partner isn't an option.


< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 9/21/2007 3:51:23 PM >

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to ophelialocke)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:50:55 PM   
tricia


Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I started out calling him the deliciously flawed, dominant man of my dreams.
 
Now i just call him - Sam.  Who is still the deliciously flawed, dominant man of my dreams.

(in reply to ophelialocke)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:51:03 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		My family doesn't ask anymore LOL! I'm just the kinky one who's happy.

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to BoiJen)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:51:37 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I just tell the truth without excess details:  That so-and-so is an acquaintance/friend/whatever applies outside of the power dynamic.  I introduce them like anyone else my family or friend didn't know. 

If my vanilla friends are the sort to becomfortable, I just introduce them as my sub/slave.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to ophelialocke)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:53:56 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		i don't tell them nothing. My parents and i had an argument over my choice of living and that was that. What stays in the bedroom between my Dom and myself, he's 20 years older than i am, stays there. He won't meet my parents anytime soon due to his age.

(in reply to ophelialocke)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:55:24 PM   
homedespot


Posts: 79
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		I mostly say slave...but I say it with a great big fat grin. I often find that simply telling the truth with a laugh a wink and a smile is the best way. People think..."oh there she goes again with that wacky sense of humour". It works very well...and I don't even have to lie.

He isn't My "partner" at least in the sense that normal people mean it. Once in a while I'll say "partner in crime". I'll never say boyfriend as he isn't My friend in the sense that normal people mean it. Oh...and signifigant or sometimes insignifigant other depending on the situation.

And don't start fighting with Me about the word normal either...ya'll know exactly what I mean.

J.

(in reply to ophelialocke)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:56:10 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia

I started out calling him the deliciously flawed, dominant man of my dreams.
 
Now i just call him - Sam.  Who is still the deliciously flawed, dominant man of my dreams.


brilliant!

(in reply to tricia)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:56:16 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		Fast Reply:

I'm single now, but when I was in D/s relationships I always called him my boyfriend.  Even to him.  He called me his girlfriend or girl, and in private I would call him my master, my god, my prince, my king, my owner...and he would call me his slave, his toy, his princess, his plaything, his property...but they were all just pet names.

It's actually a pet peeve of mine when someone asks to hear about my "ex Doms" or "ex Masters" - they were SO much more than just my 'Dom' or my "Master" - they were my boyfriends as well.  My partners.  Men I loved.  Even to lifestyle-aware people I use the term boyfriend because it is so much more comprehensive than Dom - Dom just describes one aspect of our relationship, but my boyfriend is someone who is my Dom, my Master, my Lover, my snugglebuddy...my everything.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
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RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:57:52 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

My family doesn't ask anymore LOL! I'm just the kinky one who's happy.


also brilliant post!

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 3:59:39 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn
i don't tell them nothing. My parents and i had an argument over my choice of living and that was that. What stays in the bedroom between my Dom and myself, he's 20 years older than i am, stays there. He won't meet my parents anytime soon due to his age.

Actually it's YOUR age that's the problem.  If you were older and independent, it wouldn't matter.  I wasn't able to introduce my owners when I was younger either because my mother was not accepting of my choices in older men.

As soon as I got independent and stable- she either could choose to meet us both, or not meet at all.  Of course by then I'd trained her pretty well on accepting my choice for myself and she was a lot calmer.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 4:04:45 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		For those whom find the courage to ask, i admit to being a submissive
personality who loves Powerful Women. i keep the Powerful Man
thing in my back pocket, seems to garner more raised eyebrows.

About that wooden box with the padlock in the corner, well, let's
just call that "none of your damn business".

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to ophelialocke)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 4:05:35 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		There's only been one person who has really, as far as I am concerned, called me mistress in the correct manner.
He is Dutch and I was doing my Domme thing on the phone.
He is a fluent English speaker and oh so very very sincere in his begging when he called me 'Missus'....a slight variation on Mistress....but nevertheless Mistress in an olde English way.

Likewise I prefer to call a Master 'Mister'......this is very very Old Guard actaully so Old Guard it should be termed pre Old Guard as it is based on probably the elder of D/s relationships which was based on upstairs/downstairs or the class system of England.

Calling Him Mister makes me feel GREAT and for those of you who care to re-start the trend....try calling you Mistresses Missus....and kneeling and bowing your heads and begging boys for all your worth.

Prinsexx

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 4:07:16 PM   
dollylima


Posts: 48
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I used to call him "my boyfriend".
Now I call him "my fiance".
In a couple of months I will call him "My wonderful husband".
I only refer to him as "My Dom" with people I know as a result of their being kinksters.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 4:27:16 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ophelialocke

OK this has probably been covered a bunch but I couldn't think of the right phrase to search for earlier posts...

For those in D/s or M/s relationships, what do you tell vanilla friends or family members you are to each other?

To be scientific and neutral, I won't give my own details on the matter .


If they are our friends, then they know that Tom and I are married and that I own Fox and consider him my slave. Out of concern for their feelings, he usually does not call me Mistress in front of them nor does he use my name either. He does not stop being my slave though when our friends are around. They can't handle it, they can stop coming over and hanging out.

Our families do not live near us so what they know is that Fox is a part of my family. One of my sisters knows that he and I are intimate but she has not asked for more details.

If for some reason we lived closer to any of our families of origin they too would be told that I own him and then they can make the choice to come over or not.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to ophelialocke)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: what do you say you are? - 9/21/2007 4:31:10 PM   
SeanPony


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		I tell them I'm a pony with a big cock in a relationship.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 20
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