RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner

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MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 4:36:50 AM)
quote: How many Dommes would reply to my response to their profile if I asked what kind of movies do you like? What books have you read recently? Where was the most exciting place you have ever taken a vacation? Do you like long walks on the beach? The list could go on and on........I guarantee that if I used this approach to a profile I would get a zero response rate!!!! It depends on how you approach it. Yes. If you are looking to build a long term relationship, then those are conversations you should be comfortable having with the potential. Such conversations are crucial in exploring differences, similarities, and just ability to talk and enjoy each others company. If you sent them in an introductory email with those listed out as 20 questions to a Domme? It would be annoying, the same as if she sent you such a list. My suggestion is to read over her profile and see if you have some similar interests, and comment on that. "Hey, I see you like hiking. Let me tell you about this kayak trip I went on last year" or something of the sort. It's just not all that hard.

lonewolf05 -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 8:33:20 AM)
quote: "SM is not a mindless or thoughtless activity. <It> is a full exploration of one's humanity: physical, mental, emotional, sexual, social, and spiritual." Jack Rinella =========== just for topic...since quotes seem to be a normal thing vs coming up with their own thoughts....... this is why i dislike rinella. too stereotypical......not everyone is social, or spiritual OR sexual....let alone emotional......as to the mental part the jury is still out on that one....physical? mmm m a y b e but very little....actually for ME it is rather mindless.....MY housechores are bland and boring and tedious and there is no thought needed.......it is just the same everyday drudgery.......being a full time domestics service slave....... but i guess "I" am THEE ONLY male "I" know of that does it. "I" am not into this for ME...........i serve Her JUST to BE in service for Her........ ok Ladies back to Your topic now..........commercial sponsor is gone now....... thank you wolfie

dommemagnet -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 9:20:35 AM)
At the risk of running over old ground since I don't have the time to read 17 pages of posts, I'll recommend to the Dommes looking for compatible male subs to take some of their own advice, attend local meetings and events. In reading a few of the posts many seem to believe a Domme has very little time to sort through the many responses and/or profiles of the subs here. Since most of you seem to be looking for persons that are gainfully employed, self sufficient, successful and self confident I propose you will not find many of them with excessive time with which to woo you online either. This is a relationship question that could be posted in any relationship forum. Why am I having so much trouble finding a decent partner? Answer: because no one can measure up to the ideal you have created in your mind and each of you have a different ideal. Life is all about compromise. When looking for your soulmate online it's like shopping for (fill in the blank). People tend to window shop not wanting to compromise. (I really want the $100.00 flogger but there are others in the $50.00 range) At some point you have to expand your criteria and consider more options if you hope to be successful in your search.

onceburned -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 10:59:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Friends Ok, that being said, how do you respond to an ad from a Domme then on a site like collarme? How many Dommes would reply to my response to their profile if I asked what kind of movies do you like? What books have you read recently? Where was the most exciting place you have ever taken a vacation? Do you like long walks on the beach? The list could go on and on........I guarantee that if I used this approach to a profile I would get a zero response rate!!!! As MsSonnetMarwood suggested, it is easy to take note of a shared interest that a domme mentions in her profile. In addition, you can also mention recent activities you have enjoyed: a stroll down Pismo Beach, a vacation in Quetico Provincial Park, or that you just finished the Da Vinci Code... and why you liked any of those things. Its doing exactly what she did - sharing a little about what makes you, you. I don't think this is any different for D/s relationships than for vanilla relationships.

Friends -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 2:17:18 PM)
I understand that sharing personal information is vital and I have done so a few times in "regular" personals with success. I guess my whole point is that if someone places a fetish personal, is it only correct to assume that the responses will involve fetishism? If you place an ad saying you want a sub to do xxxx and xxxx but got a response saying I just went on vacation to Italy...have you ever been there, wouldn't that be defeating the point???

JohnWarren -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 2:47:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Friends I understand that sharing personal information is vital and I have done so a few times in "regular" personals with success. I guess my whole point is that if someone places a fetish personal, is it only correct to assume that the responses will involve fetishism? If you place an ad saying you want a sub to do xxxx and xxxx but got a response saying I just went on vacation to Italy...have you ever been there, wouldn't that be defeating the point??? That works if all one wants is just a fetish relationship. I strongly suspect that most of the women on this and other "meeting places" are looking for something deeper. They want a relationship with a person who shares many of their interests and desires ... including, but not limited, to kinky desires.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 3:22:25 PM)
quote: How many Dommes would reply to my response to their profile if I asked what kind of movies do you like? What books have you read recently? Where was the most exciting place you have ever taken a vacation? Do you like long walks on the beach? The list could go on and on........I guarantee that if I used this approach to a profile I would get a zero response rate!!!! I would for one... I would love it if a submissive actually wanted to know anything about me as a person before they wanted to know about me as a Domina. I would love to receive an email that told me that the sub/slave is capable of thinking outside of wiitwd on occasion. In fact, I've had many long and wonderful conversations with submissives that have written me and asked questions about my tat, or the steel fingertips in the picture in my profile... I've made friends that would have, and could have easily turned in to wonderful relationships had it not been for the distance between us. By stating that you would get a "zero response rate" it almost feels like you are saying that dominant females are not capable of carrying on a conversation consisting of anything more then the different sensations between various floggers. I for one am very intelligent and I know for a fact that this site is filled with extremely intelligent and exciting female dominants that could talk for hours on subjects that don't come close to BDSM and never run out of witty or stimulating insight concerning countless subjects. Perhaps you should try it, I doubt that you would truly get that "zero response rate" that you claim would happen. Jewel

PetTeacher -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 4:26:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel quote: How many Dommes would reply to my response to their profile if I asked what kind of movies do you like? What books have you read recently? Where was the most exciting place you have ever taken a vacation? Do you like long walks on the beach? The list could go on and on........I guarantee that if I used this approach to a profile I would get a zero response rate!!!! I would for one... I would love it if a submissive actually wanted to know anything about me as a person before they wanted to know about me as a Domina. I would love to receive an email that told me that the sub/slave is capable of thinking outside of wiitwd on occasion. In fact, I've had many long and wonderful conversations with submissives that have written me and asked questions about my tat, or the steel fingertips in the picture in my profile... I've made friends that would have, and could have easily turned in to wonderful relationships had it not been for the distance between us. By stating that you would get a "zero response rate" it almost feels like you are saying that dominant females are not capable of carrying on a conversation consisting of anything more then the different sensations between various floggers. I for one am very intelligent and I know for a fact that this site is filled with extremely intelligent and exciting female dominants that could talk for hours on subjects that don't come close to BDSM and never run out of witty or stimulating insight concerning countless subjects. Perhaps you should try it, I doubt that you would truly get that "zero response rate" that you claim would happen. Jewel My problem is, the people I have meet online tend to want to know EVERYTHING about me. It is very rare that I meet someone who does not ask vanilla questions (as well as lifestyle). It is usually me applying the breaks and I want to know everything about them to see if I think there will be some common ground to meet on.

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 4:27:12 PM)
quote: actually for ME it is rather mindless Sucks to be you then. I wouldn't bother with the lifestyle at all if it didn't offer a full spectrum of avenues to explore. But then, to each their own. If being one-dimentional in-a-box works for you...enjoy!

JohnWarren -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 4:43:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood quote: actually for ME it is rather mindless Sucks to be you then. Sadly, I think that has been his point all along. At least, that's been the impression I'm getting. Kinda like the kid who is so terrified of rejection he rejects every kindly approach.

Misstoyou -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 5:40:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Friends I understand that sharing personal information is vital and I have done so a few times in "regular" personals with success. I guess my whole point is that if someone places a fetish personal, is it only correct to assume that the responses will involve fetishism? If you place an ad saying you want a sub to do xxxx and xxxx but got a response saying I just went on vacation to Italy...have you ever been there, wouldn't that be defeating the point??? Do you find many Dommes that have that kind of personal ad, saying, "I want a sub to do xxxx and xxxx"? I think subs read "interests" and tranlate that to, "I want a sub to do xxxx and xxxx," and then don't bother to read the profile at all. That's one reason why my profile is minimalistic in interests as well. An example, for the record, yes, I do enjoy spanking my sub's bottom. [;)]

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/21/2005 6:17:58 PM)
quote: I would for one... I would love it if a submissive actually wanted to know anything about me as a person before they wanted to know about me as a Domina. I would love to receive an email that told me that the sub/slave is capable of thinking outside of wiitwd That's where I am too. I have the interests on my profile so that the person emailing me may have an idea of what it is I find fun, not because I want random strangers approaching me as if we already know each other intimately and can exchange cyber sex fantasies online. With me, Before we go the sex route, we would have to get to know each other as man and woman, to see if we can tolerate/like each other, and maybe even love one another should the Gods bless us with that luck. M

prettyfellowme -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/22/2005 11:31:10 AM)
I haven't had the time to read all of the replies to this question, but it is a good one. let me give you a subs perspective. It isn't polite to name names, so I will refrain. First was Tennessee. She was beautiful, alluring, inexperienced. We talked for almost two months. When I told her I made the airline reservations, and I would leave it to het to pick a hotel near her, gone. Profile deleted. Hasn't been back since. Texas. Very nice woman who seemed to have every interest I did. Wanted to explore at a higher and more intense level than I originally wanted to. In college. Closer to my age. When I asked if the flight I chose was acceptable, gone. Canada. Divorced with a high school aged son. Thought a man should be mindful of his place by wearing lingerie at all times. Wanted to meet as soon as she her vacation came. Her vacation came and went, so did she. Georgia. Actually met this one. Spent a week with her. Took her to the beach in Fl. for three days. She said she couldn't wait for me to go back. She had a couple of major financial problems when I got back. I handled them. When she said she couldn't pay the rent, I told her that I didn't have the cash right now, haven't heard from her since. Kentucky, yada, yada, yada, same story different location. So, why is it that when a sub says no distance is too far, and if we click relocation will be immediate, that they go away? It isn't just the dommes, ladies.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/22/2005 11:48:56 AM)
quote: when a sub says no distance is too far, and if we click relocation will be immediate, that they go away? It isn't just the dommes, ladies. I'm sorry you've met so many fem wankers. I'm wondering a few things: 1)if you had any consistent/regular communication with these women on the phone, and how well you got to know them before making reservations; 2)for the one you did meet, whether you got any "she's not" completly normal/sane/emotionally healthy vibe; 3)if your statement saying you will immediately relocate isn't a little scary to her, and that maybe you should simply say you are able to, get to know each other, and let her tell you when relocation would suit her. Welcome to the boards. M

Friends -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/22/2005 11:54:36 AM)
quote: By stating that you would get a "zero response rate" it almost feels like you are saying that dominant females are not capable of carrying on a conversation consisting of anything more then the different sensations between various floggers. I for one am very intelligent and I know for a fact that this site is filled with extremely intelligent and exciting female dominants that could talk for hours on subjects that don't come close to BDSM and never run out of witty or stimulating insight concerning countless subjects. Perhaps you should try it, I doubt that you would truly get that "zero response rate" that you claim would happen. Jewel I am not saying this by any means...you misunderstood the meaning of what I was trying to say and I think it is my fault for not clearly explaining it.....I will try and explain this as best I can.....If I join a group, site, whatever about building model airplanes, I wouldn't contact another member and say "hey, how about them Yankees". The same goes with a fetish personal, you start off using the fetish as a common interest then you move on to other things. I fully agree with the line of thought that you need to get to know the woman as well as the domme...I just think the domme comes first, then the woman. I hope this makes clearer what I was trying to say!

prettyfellowme -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/22/2005 11:58:03 AM)
yes, there were many telephone contacts with these women. Photos were exchanged. Mine aren't the best. (sound familiar?) I didn't tell the dommes I would relocate to them as soon as they handed me my pantyhose, that was just my saying it. I didn't make that a point to them. maybe I'm just waiting for that one beautiful (woman of color) to order me to meet her in the ladies room at The Capitol Grille, and and have my rather cute ass ready for her to get to know. Hehehehe. Thanks M.

prettyfellowme -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/22/2005 1:04:03 PM)
I have to try this approach. Here goes: Hi MsSonnett, I see by your photo that you enjoy being downright gorgous. Let me tell you about this very pretty woman who almost gave me a second look last year. Or: Hello MsSonnett, I see by your profile and your comments here that you are not only beautiful but very articulate. That is truly refreshing. May I tell you about the lady that kept correcting my typos because I was so nervous when writing to her, I couldn't think straight. Hey, this isn't so hard. I wonder if it will work?

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/22/2005 1:08:12 PM)
quote: I am not saying this by any means...you misunderstood the meaning of what I was trying to say and I think it is my fault for not clearly explaining it.....I will try and explain this as best I can.....If I join a group, site, whatever about building model airplanes, I wouldn't contact another member and say "hey, how about them Yankees". The same goes with a fetish personal, you start off using the fetish as a common interest then you move on to other things. I fully agree with the line of thought that you need to get to know the woman as well as the domme...I just think the domme comes first, then the woman. I hope this makes clearer what I was trying to say! Thank you so much for taking the time to clarify what you meant... and if you consider wiitwd to be a hobby then it also makes sense. Personally I've never considered going to a hobby board and seeking a partner... ok, that was uncalled for, forgive me please. But I will run with your line of thinking. If you are writing these Dominas with the express intention of gaining knowledge concerning a particular fetish you share then it would make sense to cut through the small talk... But.... using your example again here... would you seriously discuss, indepth, building small airplanes with someone, get to know how they feel about it, where they fly them at and all that and then base a relationship on that information? Most likely not, why? Because people in strong solid relationships often have totally different hobbies that neither take away nor add to each others lives. That's where the difference lies... this is NOT a hobby, it is a way of living, expressing or acting in a relationship and what you are dealing with very much effects the lives of everyone involved. So I guess it depends on how you view wiitwd, if you see it as a hobby then I understand the approach, but if you see it as a search for a relationship then perhaps you should reconsider how you approach these WOMEN. Think about the fact that simply because they are dominant individuals and are generally accustomed to setting the rules of engagement does not mean they don't like to hear about or talk about subjects outside of the dungeon. Someone here once made a comment about feeling like a flogger with legs..... I like that visual because it truly states how so many of us are made to feel when a submissive wants to know nothing more then how well we swing one. Jewel

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/22/2005 1:16:03 PM)
Thank you for expressing it so well, Jewel!

AAkasha -> RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner (9/22/2005 1:59:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Friends quote: By stating that you would get a "zero response rate" it almost feels like you are saying that dominant females are not capable of carrying on a conversation consisting of anything more then the different sensations between various floggers. I for one am very intelligent and I know for a fact that this site is filled with extremely intelligent and exciting female dominants that could talk for hours on subjects that don't come close to BDSM and never run out of witty or stimulating insight concerning countless subjects. Perhaps you should try it, I doubt that you would truly get that "zero response rate" that you claim would happen. Jewel I am not saying this by any means...you misunderstood the meaning of what I was trying to say and I think it is my fault for not clearly explaining it.....I will try and explain this as best I can.....If I join a group, site, whatever about building model airplanes, I wouldn't contact another member and say "hey, how about them Yankees". The same goes with a fetish personal, you start off using the fetish as a common interest then you move on to other things. I fully agree with the line of thought that you need to get to know the woman as well as the domme...I just think the domme comes first, then the woman. I hope this makes clearer what I was trying to say! I think you'll find that women, for the most part, seek some kind of a connection with a man she might be kinky with MUCH more than a guy she'd build model airplanes with. Also, I think women are far more likely to require some sort of connection -- emotional, physical, or both -- before having any desire to engage in intimate acts with him. If a guy is only interested in what she has to offer on the kink platter and is not interested in anything beyond that, she really is interchangable anyway and he can just move on. There are plenty of guys out there who only want the kink. Akasha

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