behindmirrors
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tsatske
Why does it seem that, for most, the word 'fat' is completely off limits?
How would others feel about being called, for instance, a 'fat pig'?
I'm just going to note here that I have not read all the replies to this topic yet, so I'm probably going to repeat some stuff that others have said in some way or another.
To answer the first question, a lot of people have self-esteem issues concerning their weight, especially women. Not all are this way, mind you, which is great, but a large percentage is.
Society at large has not helped this- the word "fat", at least in my perception and from what I have gained from those I have spoken to on the issue, has become almost synonymous with "unattractive", "disgusting" and something to be controlled or eliminated in today's view of beauty. I don't think this is necessarily right, but I'm just speaking from what I have heard and observed. Personally, I envy a lot of people with some "meat on their bones"- especially ones who don't feel guilty about it and can embrace themselves and their bodies exactly as they are. It's beautiful, and something I have never fully been able to do...I admire that so much it's hard to put into words.
To answer your second question, I would probably completely shut down towards that person for an indefinite amount of time. I had anorexia and bulimia for 12 years, and I still have days where it can be difficult for me. I know logically I'm not a "fat pig", but I still have trouble occasionally not percieving myself to be one, especially if I eat more than I think I "should", etc.- and that's just asking for a relapse to put myself in that situation. I barely skirt the "normal weight" category for my height, but to me, it would still be devastating on some level to me and would put me in a bad place, and that bad place is fully capable of killing me, and nearly has in the past.
I am very sensitive about my weight- I have trouble if my size is referred to much at all and in a manner I don't find appropriate (for example, if my Master or doctor is concerned I am losing weight, and says "You're thinner, what's going on? Are you eating okay?" that's one thing, because it comes from a place of knowing my history and a genuine concern for my well-being- but people who I don't know or know making comparitive statements about my weight- "OMG how do you get so skinny" or "I wish I was tiny like you" is not okay with me and I find it difficult to deal with)- let alone if it's a comment in the opposite direction (like my father, when I was gaining weight during my recovery said "You're eating too much, you are going to get fat"- I weighed approximately 95 pounds, up 11 from my lowest-low, and to say that was "not helpful" would be a serious understatement). I guess you could say that I prefer for no comments at all to be made about my size, because either one can push me in a negative direction mentally, and I don't have any desire to nearly die from an eating disorder one more time and go there.
I draw a really clear line on this issue- don't say anything unless you are concerned for my health or I ask for reassurance that I do, indeed, look fine where I am at on a day when I am beating myself up or some such nonsense I am occasionally prone to. Otherwise, I really don't want to hear about it or deal with it.
That's my two cents, take it for what it is worth-
behindmirrors.
Edited to add: I forgot to include that my limits are not necessarily anyone else's, just as are my experiences. So if you enjoy it, go for it- I was more or less explaining (in detail) why this is something that is not part of my kink.
< Message edited by behindmirrors -- 9/23/2007 6:11:58 PM >
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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 
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