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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/24/2007 8:16:29 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

I've been thinking about this one and I really don't think the dislike of the term "fat" stems from the fact that we are overweight. It's humilation about our bodies and many people simply can't deal with that. I know a very pretty, very tall, very slender woman who simply could not take bodily humilation because she has enough issues thinking she is too thin. Her partner standing over her and taking this the other way, telling her what bony hips she has, how lucky she is that he will ignore them, how small her breasts are, etc. would hurt her as much as my tummy being mocked would hurt me.

In my opinion it's an extreme form of humilation that not everyone can handle without undesired emotional reprocussions.


< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/24/2007 8:17:02 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/24/2007 8:30:05 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I have a question for slaves/subs/masos that enjoy humilation play. Why does it seem that, for most, the word 'fat' is completely off limits?...


this slave imagines it is because "most" aren't really into humiliation.  it might sound like a hot fantasy to be called someone's little dirty slut...but to actually be made to feel humiliated about some aspect of self---hard limits start popping up all over everywhere.

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/24/2007 10:16:49 AM   
Sexynmentalinkc


Posts: 132
Joined: 4/14/2006
Status: offline 		I've been in situations in the last year where this came up.

From my experience, there's 'good' abuse/humiliation/degradation and bad.

The F word is one of those 3rd rail things, I've found, and being able to use it is a subjective issue. From some, it's always a no-no cause it crosses that line into something that's hurtful in a non-productive way to the sub/slave. It doesn't cause them to want to get better for their Dom/Master - it has the opposite impact, in fact.

For others, it's okay but usually only after awhile and has to be built up to...


I don't think it's off-limits by any means but, just like anything else, negotiation leads both whether or not the F word is a 'go' or not.


*tips his hat*

- Mr. S

P.S. I my way of thinking (and training), there's other great fun ways to play and humiliate/degrade, such that this isn't even needed. If there needs to be some kind of physique/workout training, etc. then that's okay - but again that's a subjective thing and depends on negotiation and how 'okay' a woman is with facing that issue in a productive, healthy way instead of something that's a mark of negative, unhealthy verbal abuse.

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/24/2007 10:18:16 AM   
twistedkytten


Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		I remember an experience a long time ago.. Master used the words little piggy, yes, it bit quite hard.. but was also a motivator. It is something I work on each day.
The off limit "F" word for us, (me) is fair.. as in Master, thats not fair... or some variation of. lol

_____________________________

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/24/2007 3:44:51 PM   
SubJordanTyler


Posts: 268
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		I can't say I much care for being called fat.  I do like humiliation and degredation - you can call me a slut, whore, bitch, worthless, etc..........stick pretty much anything in my mouth and asshole and use me up...............and I won't care.  But call me fat, and I won't like it.  Maybe it's because I used to be that way and then I went and got myself in great shape.  It was a lot of work to get there, so being called that is a reminder of how I used to be.  It belittles all the work I did to get there - and I don't want to go back there or be reminded of it.  I can only think that's the reason why I don't like it.

(in reply to twistedkytten)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/24/2007 6:41:06 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Well duh, sweetheart, sometimes the truth runs a little deeper then the obvious. It's not just the truth that they're fat but also that they're fat because they're lazy. That they are the way they are because they don't want to get off their ass and change to be heathier, to look better and feel better. So to some people, telling them their fat is also showing them a weakness in their character that they don't like to see.


Maybe in your tiny secluded world. I am not lazy. So maybe you need to get out more. Save the insults for someone who you can hurt by them. Your post are never more than insults to others. Maybe the problem is you. Offer something informative once in awhile.

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(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/25/2007 2:07:28 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Well duh, sweetheart, sometimes the truth runs a little deeper then the obvious. It's not just the truth that they're fat but also that they're fat because they're lazy. That they are the way they are because they don't want to get off their ass and change to be heathier, to look better and feel better. So to some people, telling them their fat is also showing them a weakness in their character that they don't like to see.


By that logic all lazy people would be fat but that's not the case.  Luckily for you, not all character flaws have physical manifestations and not all physical traits indicate character..  However, it would be nice if they did so we could easily see who is an ass without waiting for them to speak.

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(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/25/2007 4:30:28 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Well duh, sweetheart, sometimes the truth runs a little deeper then the obvious.


Indeed, though you have entirely missed the deeper truths by stopping a foot short of the surface.

quote:


It's not just the truth that they're fat but also that they're fat because they're lazy.


That'd be a lot like saying "Hispanics are poor because they are stupid."
Would you agree with such a statement as that one?
The nature and factual content is identical.

One might be careful in generalizing; the line between that and prejudice is thin. You're over it.

quote:


So to some people, telling them their fat is also showing them a weakness in their character that they don't like to see.


Instead of extending the analogy above, I'll say that I hope you are willing to see yours.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/25/2007 4:48:39 AM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

same reason my intelligence and belts and the word "bitch" are off limits for right now...my past.and people in my past that suck ass...and not in a good way...


Amen ! What she said. 

I've been thin and I've been chubby and now I'm just right. Master has told me not to change how my ass looks.  ( hehe)

I didn't like being made fun of for being to thin, I didn't like being made fun of for being fluffy and I don't like to be called "bitch"

The word "bitch" makes my blood run cold and pisses me the hell off, I think being called fatty would do the same.

~Dancer


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* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/25/2007 4:58:50 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Well duh, sweetheart, sometimes the truth runs a little deeper then the obvious. It's not just the truth that they're fat but also that they're fat because they're lazy. That they are the way they are because they don't want to get off their ass and change to be heathier, to look better and feel better. So to some people, telling them their fat is also showing them a weakness in their character that they don't like to see.


ohhh goodie!  its the "stereotyping game"  !...
all overweight people are lazy and dont care about themselves.
all blondes are dumb.
all male hairdressers are gay.
all female gym teachers are lesbian.
all lesbians are men haters.
all sadists are unfeeling and angry at the world.
all female masochists were abused or abandoned by their fathers.
all people of mexican decent are jobless and illiterate.
all men who wont take their glasses off for a picture are insecure and are hiding something.
all women who speak up for themselves and have strong opinions are bitches.
all men who submit are weak.
all women who submit are weak.

lets see.....Im sure theres more....
ga'head  add some more ..Im sure you can think of more.
 
wait......this was a game, right?  you were making a funny right? you wouldn't really stereotype and pigeonhole in this fo..........oh wait...
 
ohhhh dear... you were serious....???
ohhhhh, my bad. 
ohhh how sad...

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/25/2007 7:47:16 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I have a question for slaves/subs/masos that enjoy humilation play. Why does it seem that, for most, the word 'fat' is completely off limits?...


this slave imagines it is because "most" aren't really into humiliation.  it might sound like a hot fantasy to be called someone's little dirty slut...but to actually be made to feel humiliated about some aspect of self---hard limits start popping up all over everywhere.


i would agree with this...most have no need or desire to be sincerely humiliated. for them it is more about playing around with naughty words and activities that a typical conservative-type vanilla person...say CNN's Nancy Grace...would find humiliating, but nothing that is actually humiliating to them personally.

when my Master subjects me to humiliation, the key is honesty, sincerity, to hit those triggers that speak to my insecurities and will make me feel thoroughly humbled. if i were overweight, calling me fat would certainly be an appropriate example of this.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/25/2007 4:45:24 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		if i felt that someone truly appreciated my weight - like my first Master did, though he never chose to use the word "fat" - and used the word "my" in front of it, i would have no problem with it....because in my mind, using the word "my" places a positive worth on whatever follows it...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/26/2007 1:01:09 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I think there's a bit of confusion here...
Some use the term "humiliation" to mean being brought to one's station.
Others take it to mean being "taken down", basically emotional punches, which is actually a more colloquial use of the term.
When people say they'd like to see Paris Hilton humiliated, they aren't talking about taking her to the station of a rich, famous, spoiled brat.

For that matter, we all have different notions of what a person's station is.
Some like a station that others would find downright abusive.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/26/2007 1:43:19 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am definitely a fat girl, and I love being Master's bitch, cunt, dirty slut, etc, but he would never call me fat in scene.  He can embarass me and degrade me, but I have had enough people in my life tease me about being fat.  Also, he really is far more creative than that, as fat would be so obvious.  I am losing weight  to make it easier to get pregnant and I exercise for him at least 3 times a week and I want to continually make myself healthier for him, (and myself, of course).  Still, I think even if I was thin, I would hate being called fat in scene.  It would probably make me angry, since it would be used to degrade and I am very fat-positive in general.
However, if it excites you, you should totally use it.  I love that we are all so different!

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/26/2007 5:38:03 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Never said that I liked it; I don't. It just doesn't "do it" for me, as it's not an impulse outside "emotional warfare", which I shun. I just tried to explain the differences in how it's being used by e.g. prop and beth, and how it's used by most, including me. What they call humiliation, I would simply call emotional sadism, which is a valid choice, but not something for me. Depending on circumstances, it could be an acceptable side-effect of degradation or debasement, though.

Health,
al-Aswad.

< Message edited by Aswad -- 9/26/2007 5:52:47 AM >

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to beltainefaerie)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/26/2007 6:34:50 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i love it when Daddy calls me His slut, black bitch, cunt, pig however He knows humilating my weight, size, etc is off limits. i know i'm fat/overweight but i don't need to be reminded of it.  if this is your type of kink - fine. it's not for me.

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...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 56
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