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first training session!! - 9/23/2007 10:10:28 PM   
justnewsub


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		I had posted earlier about on-line training and just as a follow up, I took the advise given and decided to end the on-line relationship.  I have just recently started RL training, with a nice Strict Master!  We just had our first session and it was great!

I was wondering if anyone else wanted to share their thoghts on their first training session. 

I just want to scream, "Yes Sir, Can I Have Some More?"

Thanks again for all the advise
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: first training session!! - 9/23/2007 10:19:22 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		Congrats on enjoying your first scene!
 
My first scene was the moment I turned legal. I had been under a real life collar of consideration with a man who wouldn't touch me until then. I remember the night fondly and the subsequent scenes more fondly still.
 
Enjoy your high, and don't be surprised if you drop. Just be wary and keep some chocolate handy!

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: first training session!! - 9/24/2007 10:11:51 AM   
justnewsub


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		Yes i was warned of the drop by my Sir.  i have lived a mostly vanilla life and have always wanted more, asked for more, but nobody was willing.  i'm so glad i have finally found the community and my Sir, and am finally living the way i am most happy!

i think i'm still riding on the high...

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: first training session!! - 9/24/2007 11:57:51 AM   
havingfaith


Posts: 28
Joined: 6/9/2007
Status: offline 		Congrats! i know exactly how You feel, even tho it was years ago for me, i can rememeber all of it. Ah first sessions can be like first kisses.

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: first training session!! - 9/24/2007 12:11:29 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Well my first trainin session was a big let down for me.  When i had my first training with my Master it was like an A HA moment..  I still smile everytime i think of it i swear my feet did not touch the ground for a week.

Matt;s littleone

(in reply to havingfaith)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: first training session!! - 9/24/2007 5:51:46 PM   
justnewsub


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		i did end up dropping this morning, but lukily kept myself busy and got to talk to Sir a bit which helped too.  It is like a first kiss, so eye opening, so fullfilling.... can't stop grinning...

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: first training session!! - 9/24/2007 9:46:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Why do you call it training?  WHat's the difference in your mind between "training" and "playing"?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: first training session!! - 9/24/2007 10:23:11 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		I've never had a "training" session.   But the first time someone hurt me good enough was quite nice indeed.  And I kept coming back for more.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: first training session!! - 9/25/2007 1:16:52 AM   
willowspirit


Posts: 164
Joined: 6/20/2005
From: U.S.A.-Minnesota
Status: offline 		I'm glad to hear that you are taking advice.
Online relationships can be wonderful though... 
I learned more about respecting myself, communication skills, how to present myself  -- both in vanilla settings and BSDM settings, etiquette and manners, my own power in submissiveness, what diet is best for me, men /women relationships, legal matters, finances,  --- EDITTED TO ADD : Safety Protocols ---, education, post-divorce child raising, etc..., etc... 
"Play" and "scening" had nothing to do with it.

Question?
Are you really HIS submissive? I noticed that you are still calling him "Sir" out-of-scene. Why is that?????

More advice? Yep, first play sessions can be all heady and WOW! But I sincerely hope you did NOT get suckered into some line from some Top about how he is going to "train" you... when all  it is to him, is that he gets to enjoy all the exciting "intimacies" of a NEWBIE  {read: Fresh Meat !"} for himself, without any real concern for you as a person whom he'll "release" soon as he finds another newbie to (ha- ha) Train. 

LA is right. You played. You got introduced to some new sensations. Play is like that. "Training" has nothing to do with it.

[Point of reference:  A seventy year old Dominant I know locally who is the head of lifestyle group, tells us often about how a few decades ago  D/s & M/s Trainers NEVER had S&M or sexual contact with their charges. It was seen as taking advantage of them... AND as a misuse of a Dominant's power over a truly submissive person. Newbie submissives are particularly vulnerable to becoming emotionally attached to people they play with. I wish I had known that before. Bonding happens. Having the bond broken hurts like hell.]

< Message edited by willowspirit -- 9/25/2007 1:49:41 AM >

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: first training session!! - 9/25/2007 1:26:38 AM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Why do you call it training?  WHat's the difference in your mind between "training" and "playing"?


Ditto!  What is this "training"  umm trained to suck his cock?  trained to bend over and take it?  Seriously... what does it mean?

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: first training session!! - 9/25/2007 10:03:46 AM   
Redandtreasure


Posts: 26
Joined: 10/21/2006
Status: offline 		There is a big difference in training and playing don’t be fooled. Training is showing you the proper ways to behave, serve, kneel, posture, prodical things of this nature. There are other ways of training as well. Nobody knows how to cum on command they must be trained for it. There are so many things that a person can be trained to do or be taught to do. Playing though is a different high. Now that you have felt your first high from playing or training which ever one it was you can seek the ultimate high in sub space. This can be achieved in one of two ways. One way is by being in so much pleasure that your endorphin’s kick so much it sends you into another realm of being. The other way is to be put into so much pain that you go threw the same process. No one can get there all the time and no one knows how to make it happen all the time. It’s a mood thing. You and your Top must connect on a equal plain to achieve this but watch out for the let down process. When my little one goes to sub space and comes back she is colder then normal cant talk or take in water and she also has no control of her limbs. I have to carry her to bed curl up with her and pull all the blankets up for her to get warm. I do this as part of her cool down process but I also do it because it is great cuttle time.

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: first training session!! - 9/25/2007 11:36:13 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Redandtreasure
Nobody knows how to cum on command they must be trained for it.

Actually I know some people who have always been able to orgasm without any build up- nothing to do with training.

quote:

Now that you have felt your first high from playing or training which ever one it was you can seek the ultimate high in sub space.

Actually I've had "highs" which were much better, more satisfying and delicious than any subspace I've heard of or experienced.

And not all subspace is GOOD- most people experience a bad subspace at some point.
quote:


This can be achieved in one of two ways. One way is by being in so much pleasure that your endorphin’s kick so much it sends you into another realm of being. The other way is to be put into so much pain that you go threw the same process.

Well those are two ways- neither of which are the ways *I* get into subspace. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Redandtreasure)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: first training session!! - 9/25/2007 1:01:47 PM   
justnewsub


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		i didn't know the difference between playing and training... now i am wondering.... i feel like i'm doing everything ass backwards... so wanting to learn and be taken under someone wing... i am scared now that i may have done something wrong..... ......  i have been thinking alot today about everything.... i like what he has taught me so far and he seems ligit, but maybe i went in too fast and blind..... was i taken advantage of?????  HELP

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: first training session!! - 9/25/2007 1:32:23 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Went in to fast and blind? MO yup I don't believe in some one other than my own Dom "training" meafter all it is He I would be serving and only He would know what  he wants and how he wants it done. I already know how to kneel lol-  But my Dom would teach me if there were a particular position he wanted  for example:  feet spread forehead on floor arms outstretched palms down I already know how to behave- But my Dom would teach me his own ways he wishes me to behave in private and public I already know how to serve a drink/dinner etc. But it would be my Dom who teaches me if he wished his drink served to him from the open palm of my hand  my head down  and kneeling etc. Those example plus sceneing- toys- sex  oh so many many more -whatever- how on earth can someone other than your own Dom  train you for  someone else? IMO this dude is getting his "I'm a Dom" jollies/play/sex with you without any responsibility of being your Dom.
Only thing I think you did wrong was, not trying to find out first what the differences are. Not doing more reading/research . Rushing, not useing some basic common sense.

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 9/25/2007 1:35:50 PM >

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: first training session!! - 9/25/2007 1:43:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justnewsub
i didn't know the difference between playing and training... now i am wondering.... i feel like i'm doing everything ass backwards... so wanting to learn and be taken under someone wing... i am scared now that i may have done something wrong..... ......  i have been thinking alot today about everything.... i like what he has taught me so far and he seems ligit, but maybe i went in too fast and blind..... was i taken advantage of?????  HELP

Well first off, calling something training when most people call it playing is not a big deal.  Use whatever words fit for you as long as you like them. 

However, the fact that YOU do not seem to understand what language you use and how it applies to you simply suggests that you need more time to explore and figure things out before making hard and fast decisions.  Again, not really a big deal.

This isn't a test- this isn't even extra credit.  This is you exploring yourself and what you feel like.  This sounds like what I call the "morning after syndrome" when you have to process what you did and how it now fits into your world view and you find it quite overwhelming.

Take it easy. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: first training session!! - 9/25/2007 1:55:39 PM   
justnewsub


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		he seems like he cares, encourages me to stick with my studies, and such, but yes i think it was probably more playing that was called "training", he is basically introducing me to what he knows and to help me find out what i like or don't like.  i agree with the morning after syndrome, i am processing everything and trying to figure ot how it fits in.  i'm a big girl and i know how to say no, and stop... when something got too much for me he immediatly stopped and made sure i was o.k. and comforted me.... he did explain everything to me before we started and made sure i understood and it was what i wanted. 

i do appreciate the advise, i still have alot to learn...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: first training session!! - 9/25/2007 11:18:24 PM   
Redandtreasure


Posts: 26
Joined: 10/21/2006
Status: offline 		I was not trying to scare you at all. I do appoligise if I did that. i do agree with swtnsparkling nobody but your Master should train you. If he is just showing you different things on what this and that feel like then great. if you like them all the better. When you dont voice your opinion and tell him what you did and didnt like about what he did. maby it was the way he did it or the impliment he used. there are 50 different ways to use the same impliment to give it a different feel. I didnt have much info to go off of on you earlier post so I was trying to generalise not trying to scare you in any way shape or form. i love this lifestyle to much to do that to anyone. Yes if he is your Dom he will show you how he want you to do this and that. Just rember every person is different in the way they perform physically and mentally so every one needs different guidance IE: training or what ever word you want to call it. It sounds more to me like you are experimenting in a light and caring manor and doing it in a carefull way. Have fun and play safe  

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: first training session!! - 9/26/2007 8:44:51 AM   
justnewsub


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		red and treasure,

thank you, your post was very encouraging. We do have good open communication and we are playing, i am learning what i like or don't like and so is he with me. it has been fun so far and there is no commitment, he has offered to introduce me to the lifestyle get a taste of it, i accepted.  i do mess up with terms and such still.  i do love this lifestyle, would/could never go back to vanilla.

these message boards are so great in helping us new subs and even the new Doms, i'm sure, it is good to be able to talk to people in the community who have been there and done that and are now willing to support and encourage us.

Thank you to all who have posted and support us newbies

(in reply to Redandtreasure)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: first training session!! - 9/27/2007 7:30:03 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Why do you call it training?  WHat's the difference in your mind between "training" and "playing"?


Ditto!  What is this "training"  umm trained to suck his cock?  trained to bend over and take it?  Seriously... what does it mean?
This is always what I think when someone says "training". It's become an euphanism for "get my rocks off".

To the OP: It's okay to play or scene. You didn't do anything wrong If you don't explore you won't be able to figure out what you like and what you don't like. The fair warning is that brings up some pretty strong emotions that get attached to the person that made you feel the emotions. The may not belong attached to that person. My advice is not to accept a collar or lifelong commitment for at least 6 months. Have fun and be safe.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: first training session!! - 9/27/2007 10:06:32 AM   
justnewsub


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		that is great advise on the collar thing, i have been married and divorced and am not sure if i want to go through all that again, and from what i have been reading collaring is alot like vanilla marrage.... i am not looking for that right now.  i am having fun and being safe!!

after living such a vanilla life for so long and being sure to fit into that society, it is a real culture shock to finally step into the society you were ment for.  New ways of looking at things and doing things, breaking down walls and getting past barriers.  it is all so very eye opening and thrilling, but yes i am also trying to keep my head on my shoulders.

again thanks for all the advise you guys are so great!!!!!  i'm so happy i took this step into the right direction

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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