quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Flowspen..... As you said yourself in another thread "A closed mouth doesn`t get fed"  I agree with the answers you have had so far, although i know exactly what you mean. Telling a new Mistress You like being spanked, isnt the same as saying you like golden showers, or whatever. The darker the desire, the harder it is to share. I suspect part of this comes from not wanting someone you like to see you as odd.

I would also say the best course of action, is to let things flow at there own pace. There will be instances where you are both chatting about the lifestyle, and it just feels right to say "How do you feel about such and such"

Good luck and welcome to the boards

quote:

ORIGINAL: PairOfDimes

In order to avoid coming across as overeager, you could wait for her to ask you for details about what you enjoy, or what you want in a relationship. I'd advise giving a short, general summary of what you enjoy at the outset, i.e. "I'm looking for a play-focused relationship. In the past, I've enjoyed receiving spankings and giving foot worship. I like feeling submissive, and I would like to feel submissive more often in scenes, although I'm not sure how I get there. I'm also interested in experimenting with heavier pain play and anal penetration." Leave the details to later--no sense writing out several descriptive paragraphs about the exact nature of your approach to foot massages, or your preferred feet (for example). If she never asks you for more details of your preferences, but she is sharing her own, you could use her remarks to share your ideas--for example, if she writes, "I particularly enjoy caning," you could reply that while you've never tried caning, you're game to try new things, and then ask, perhaps, what she likes about it, or how it compares to other impact activities. Remember, it's a conversation--you talk, you listen, you respond. Also, to avoid seeming unpleasant and seeming as though you've become overly familiar with a new acquaintance, try to avoid profane and intimate terms--so, I would rather read "anally penetrated" than "fucked in the ass." Communicate with precision and concision--the same rules you probably learned in English class.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

Personally, I thought that is what a profile was for; stating desires, intersts...what it is you're looking for.  No?

I seldom pay attention to a thin profile; I just don't like 'em.  Most don't have pics, and surely aren't using real names; so...what are they hiding from?  I like to see 'who they are' right up front.

Having said that...I don't like gutter talk while I'm getting to know someone.  I don't even wanna hear much about sex, really.  I want BDSM in my life...and figure I'll find it here.  So, in the beginning, I'd like to hear about who you are in the 'real' world...what you eat, who you've read; and gradually add to it more, shall we say...personal information. 

Still...initial contact is usually based on that profile; is it not?

Just a thought,
Beverly


Edited to add:  I read your profile and found it one of the better written ones.  Good for you!  You've stated what you're looking for, what you want...surely she's read this, no?  Past that...go slow and let the relationship unfold; there is no need to hurry things.  Personally, the thought of tying up a guy I hardly know holds little interest for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

I have usually let these details and the types of play evolve organically. I appreciate not knowing where we will go and when an approach to a particular type of play is initiated by the domme. I speak in general terms of areas with which I align and I see value in post-play discussions about what went well for each and how it made each feel.

Within an area under consideration, I might elaborate on how it makes me feel and how it enhances my submissive mindset.

I am interested to know what activities the domme enjoys and the underlying reason for why she enjoys them to better understand what she enjoys about dominance. One approach is to ask a domme this question. More than likely she will return the question. Some people rely on checklists. Within this discussion, perhaps you can ask her how she feels about checklists.

Cheers,

Sea