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Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 11:03:12 AM   
pussinbootz


Posts: 40
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline 		Hiya

Just wondered if anyone felt they wanted a break from bdsm and go back to vanilla for a while?

I love the way MM and I play.. but at the moment my life is very stressful (work and money) and I am feeling the need to be nurtured more than anything... part of this is wanting really good vanilla love making rather than being hurt or submissive...

Has anyone else felt this way?

cheers

Puss




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In life I am his equal... in the bedroom, his collared sub.
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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 11:09:49 AM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		This is my personal opinion only. I, for one, can't or at least don't particularly want to be "on" all the time. It's okay to want to have some time out of your role, and I suspect that MM probably wouldn't be opposed to it, either - it's hard work being a top! 

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I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 11:10:56 AM   
havingfaith


Posts: 28
Joined: 6/9/2007
Status: offline 		Yes i have. And i went back to vanilla for along time. But knowing who and what i am, it just never satisfied me. i always come back to this. Taking a short break isn't so bad though. Why not talk it over with Him and discuss options?

(in reply to pussinbootz)
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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 11:14:29 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		No, and I really will try not to come off as snobby but this life for me is freeing and nurturing. It gives and does not take. Are there times I am less into the things I have to do and the glow of it is for my dear Master is replaced with something negative in my thoughts, yes, but that is life and not the way we choose to live it.

If you are having problems dealing with how you have your life set up talk to your other and see if you cannot make some changes that helps you be happier, you have rights and your feelings and needs should not be based on right or wrong.

I am also puzzled since when could we could not get good old vanilla love making? I think you will find most of us get that as well often. So not mutually exclusive!


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 11:16:38 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Well I am currently doing that now , I am dealing with family problems and also have a health problem which will take me into the new year before I am recovered, so I am basically taking time out for myself so I can deal with the issues at hand rather that bringing them into another relationship.  Slightly different then you as I am not looking for a vanilla relationship.  For me it is more that I have  acceptewd I currently have too many problems on my plate right now to deal with  adding in a relationship that does require work, time  and commitment will not make things easier but simply complicate matters more, so better for me to put on hold for now  

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 11:21:22 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		being Master's slave is much too fulfilling, joyful, nurturing and purposeful for this slave to desire the stress and hardship that "vanilla" brings...so, to answer your question, no, not even for a second.

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 11:27:58 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		NO!

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 12:15:05 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I never need a break from Master.  If Master sees i am really stressed he will help me deal with it.  I could deal with thing on my own but it is nice to have somone to lean on when i need it.  I think you should tal to your Master and tell him how stressed you are.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 12:44:52 PM   
onmykneesb4Him


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		no, not really, but the day to day interactions between us vary so much that i never feel that i need any time off. There is always the underlying D/s dynamic going on, but we can still joke and have fun and comfort eachother or whatever. For example, today He came home for lunch. When He walked in the door He gently put His hands around my neck just as a reminder to both of us where my place is. Then we talked about work and laughed together.

If it were always as intense as it is when we play, yes, i would need a break, but our lives are much more varied than that.

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 12:48:26 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onmykneesb4Him

no, not really, but the day to day interactions between us vary so much that i never feel that i need any time off. There is always the underlying D/s dynamic going on, but we can still joke and have fun and comfort eachother or whatever. For example, today He came home for lunch. When He walked in the door He gently put His hands around my neck just as a reminder to both of us where my place is. Then we talked about work and laughed together.

If it were always as intense as it is when we play, yes, i would need a break, but our lives are much more varied than that.


I just wanted to comment on how beautiful a picture you painted your relationship in such few words. It describe how my own and many relationships of this nature are on a nice human level.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)
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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 12:54:10 PM   
onmykneesb4Him


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez


I just wanted to comment on how beautiful a picture you painted your relationship in such few words. It describe how my own and many relationships of this nature are on a nice human level.



Thanks!

That was very kind of you.

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 3:19:02 PM   
Obsidiansnamaste


Posts: 266
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings puss,

For me needing a break from being His slave, would be like needing a break from being heterosexual...or from being female. It is what i am. How can i "take a break" from being myself?

i do understand that we are not all wired this way. i hope you find the path that is most fulfilling to your core.

_____________________________

Always in His service,

~Master Obsidians namaste
http://houseobsidian.wordpress.com
http://his-namaste.livejournal.com

(in reply to pussinbootz)
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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 5:14:15 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pussinbootz
I am feeling the need to be nurtured more than anything... part of this is wanting really good vanilla love making rather than being hurt or submissive...

Has anyone else felt this way?


Sometimes I want a break from doing the chores, but we never stopped the love making. We never stopped loving each after all...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to pussinbootz)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 6:36:59 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I did do it years back. The worst mistake I every made. I was angry and depressed all the time. You can certainly tone things down if you are stressed and need more me time or rest. Doesn't mean you have to quit all together.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 6:41:44 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		BDSM was never the issue, kink is just fun. What screwed with my mind was the paranoia and insecurity that came from feeling I had to be constantly in control.  Eventually, I recognized what the problem was-and just let that part go.





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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 8:54:52 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onmykneesb4Him

no, not really, but the day to day interactions between us vary so much that i never feel that i need any time off. There is always the underlying D/s dynamic going on, but we can still joke and have fun and comfort eachother or whatever. For example, today He came home for lunch. When He walked in the door He gently put His hands around my neck just as a reminder to both of us where my place is. Then we talked about work and laughed together.

If it were always as intense as it is when we play, yes, i would need a break, but our lives are much more varied than that.
This to me is a perfect example of balance needed in any relationship..Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 8:58:11 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pussinbootz

Hiya

Just wondered if anyone felt they wanted a break from bdsm and go back to vanilla for a while?

I love the way MM and I play.. but at the moment my life is very stressful (work and money) and I am feeling the need to be nurtured more than anything... part of this is wanting really good vanilla love making rather than being hurt or submissive...

Has anyone else felt this way?

cheers

Puss





I dont know about taking a break from the lifestyle as I see it as who I am, however at times intense sessions aren't a possibility because of other work things I have going on, time restrictions and the amount that it drains me.  I can't say I've ever been with someone that didn't find a way to be wicked without adhering to my request to tone it down a bit at those times.

(in reply to pussinbootz)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 10:01:21 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's actually extremely common for Ds or bdsm couples to take a break from the kink and authority dynamic, specially during times of stress. 

For those who don't, it's because the dynamic is what the relationship is founded on, it flows THROUGH everything, and provides them with the security to get through the issues.

For others, it tends to be because the Ds is an addition or something they consciously choose for themselves and it takes away from the relationship during hard times.

Do what works best for you both- when you die, no one will talk about how many cool points you got for "always being Ds"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 10:46:09 PM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		You mean you don't have vanilla sex with your Dom?  You mean your Dom doesn't care about your personal life and feelings enough to nurture you?  You are in bdsm mode every time you are in the same room?  Hmmm.

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: Wanting a break? - 9/24/2007 10:54:54 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I understand the question, but I'm not sure what I would take a break from. Maybe I might want a break from the physical manifestations of relationship, but not from the dynamic. The two of us define that dynamic, so it would be like trying to become someone different...
 
I have my own space which Daddy set up for me to do homework and just to have some place to retreat to...from life, but not from Him. I'm one of those people who needs time to entertain myself, otherwise I'll get stressed and pretty much unbearable to be around.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to pussinbootz)
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