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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 5:41:38 AM

willowspirit

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I agree with feastie too.

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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 6:51:20 AM

chellekitty

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i reacted to someone like this once....after a year and a half of living together (my first Master, none the less), 2 years of being commited....to eachother hehe.....and then he dropped me off at my parents house, said he's be back in a month....2 months later i freaked the fuck out like that...took me 2 years of tapering off to finally stop trying to contact him with the on again off again intention of begging him to take me back....(when i tell these girls not to beg to be taken back when they have messed up so bad to be released...its not necessarily from an outside point of view...though mine was beyond my control...)

that said...the one thing that would have made it so much simpler for me....not easier...nothing in life is easy, why do people always want the easy way...well i know why....cause we like mental suffering, apparently....but stop trying for the easy way....but simpler....if he had been blunt, and given me closure at 2 months, it would have saved me 2 years...

give the poor girl some fucking closure

chelle

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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 6:56:30 AM

Babybass

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Joined: 7/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

What finally got things right again? Make demands. Ask her to prove herself to you; after all, that's what she wants anyway, she wants to validate herself in her eyes. But the way to do it is subtle: first, it has to be possible for her to do, and not too insane; second, it has to be something that takes a while. "Get a job" is a good example, if she doesn't have one; "Get a better job" if she does. "Get into school," or anything that smacks of self-improvement. If you make that your condition, then two things might happen: one, she doesn't do it, and you have a complete justification for ignoring any emails that don't start with "I got a job." Or two, she definitely does do it... and at that point, no matter how different you are, it may be worth considering taking her back. Anyone willing to make a major life change for you, no matter how incompatable they may be at first, is a treasure not to be dismissed casually; and obviously she's on the path to better things, so you should ride along. If things still aren't working, make more demands and stick by your guns.

WHAT??? Isn't that just playing with someones mind for the sake of it? Why would you want to control someones life if you have absolutely no interest in them?? If the OP did this (which i don't think he would but i may be way off!) she might do everything he asks and build her life around him and for what - just so he can have a little fun??!! OMG!!!! I honestly cannot believe you would suggest such a thing.

I think that anyone willing to do this - just because they can - is irresponsible and are really just trying to massage their ego.

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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 8:56:36 AM

crouchingtigress

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From: Maui
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waves to level and bandit just cause.

ok i am so sick of men that create psychos and then throw up the poor me flag....dude you created your bed now lie in it....dont be "scared" dont rally your freinds in your self rightousness, (freinds will always take your side thats what they do)....you acted like a prick, next time man up.

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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 9:24:54 AM

plspickme

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even a nut has feelings. it was wrong of You not to e-mail her. Especially since You took her out. i know it would hurt my feelings terribly if someone did that to me.

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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 12:26:16 PM

Celeste43

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Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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You didn't send an email the moment you got home and she sent ten. Yes you should have responded that next day with a thanks for meeting, I don't think we're compatible but good luck.

You know what, even if you had written that a day later it wouldn't have made any difference to her. She had built something up in her own mind and she isn't able to get over it.

Since then you've told her you don't want any kind of relationship and she's still stalking you. Be glad she doesn't know where you live. If she finds out, then go to your lawyer. In the meantime don't read emails from her, just delete them unread and block her. It really is the safest way.

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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 12:43:36 PM

Perplex

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and this is why God made restraining orders.

My personal way of handling things like that is to out crazy-them...it is like biting a dog's ear, they look at you and tilt thier heads and you can read thier minds, like "this is not how this is supposed to go"....

my last time we agreed to meet half way, I got out of my car, pulled on my scuba hood adjusted my scuba suit, all in neon pink with the ultra-glow-in-the-dark green dildo's like gorean spikes stickign out at the elbows, knees and around the waist, squeezed on my Mickey Mouse children's flippers with the small 'dead' (they were on thier backs) Beanie Babies glued to the webbing put on my carefully made Cocacola "airtanks" ran the tubing up to my beer-bong hat which went on over the hood, then squished my way inside the resturant....when I saw her sitting in the booth at the top of my lungs, I yelled "SCAT TIME!" with all the glee of a hillbilly at a family reunion.

it was 600 dollars to build the suit, but she didn't make it through lunch and the waitresses at the Denny's were amazed.....

all in all it was a bargain.

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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 3:06:07 PM

iammachine

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Joined: 1/25/2006
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Alright so let me make sure I have this right.

This chick contacts you, you start interacting. Chickydoo is rather hot and horny, and comes on strongly. You "lose control" and respond to her like a sex crazed teenager. This gives her the impression that you actually are interested in her, which you may have been. You meet, you change your mind, and you give her the wrong impression by suggesting a further investment (another meeting) from you. You then play the silence card, and she's left wondering. The more she wonders, the more angry she gets. You eventually come clean with her, but she's still pissed.

Hell that no fury like a woman scorned, my friend. You screwed up. You recognized that you screwed up. You tried to come clean, but she's still tweaked at you. You've done all that you can do, as far as I am concerned. You can try to pacify her until you are blue in the face and you may not get anywhere. If you want to be on friendly terms with this person, then just keep being upfront and honest, apologize for the asshole move, and hope that you can be friend. Otherwise, if she is not someone that you would like to remain friendly with, or if she is unwilling to move past the situation (some women can hold a grudge forever): learn from it and move on, there's no reason to entertain further contact with her.

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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 4:41:33 PM

ehlovindom

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I hope you don't have a rabbit as a pet.

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RE: Have a problem and need some advice. - 9/26/2007 8:49:44 PM

iammachine

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doh, I hit quote instead of edit. :P

< Message edited by iammachine -- 9/26/2007 8:50:08 PM >

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