Stephann
Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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quote:
ORIGINAL: toservez
quote:
ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I also find it funny that so many so-called sadists associate sadism with extreme. Master is known as a hard core sadist. I am not a hard core masochist. To Master it's not his actions that matter, it's my reactions that matter. If he can get the same reaction from spanking me, as he can from breaking a paddle on someone else....he's happy. He has the ability to adjust himself to the situation. So, when people talk about having to play up to the level of the sadist, I find it puzzling.
I tend to agree with this view. I think not only in activities of a sadist, but things in this life and life in general there is an interest for some that no one really talks about and that is the “how far can I go” is a main or primary part of the enjoyment and motivation.
So sadism as an example, for some there is a level of I want to experience something new and/or go past the last time we played. To me this is a separate factor and you can read it in a lot of threads when people phrase a lot of what they are doing by seeing how far they can go or to have a new experience. There is a segment that newness and how far that to me these traits then dominate the actions more then the ones we often write about.
I am with OsideGirl my Master is a sadist and he can enjoy inflicting a lot of pain or minimal pain on me, it is my reaction that drives him.
This is also exactly my sadistic drive (thanks OsideGirl.) I think Sadism is probably just one broad label that really refers to a handful of different activities with little in common other than pain is inflicted. One could say the same for the difference between love making, fucking, and raping; they're all physically the same act, and could all be (technically) considered 'sex'; an outside observer without context for the act isn't likely to discern the difference between the three. With this in mind, here's a little mental masturbation offered up. Since I'm just BSing the terms, it's the concepts that matter here (to me) not the actual names:
Service Sadism: Hand in hand with the concept of a service top or bottom, the focus here isn't so much to actively inflict pain for one's own pleasure, but rather to fulfill the needs/desires of the masochist.
Reactive Sadism: The sadist's motivation is the reactions (physical and mental) of the masochist, be it from a tap on the ass, to breaking a cane over their back, to watching them cringe from a sharp word. The aim is to specifically elicit a reaction; how that is achieved isn't necessarily important. The end justifies the means, essentially.
Methodical Sadism: In contrast to Reactive, the means justifies the end. The methodical application of specific activities is the key here; a 'fetish' for caning, for example, would mean the sadist in question receives the most pleasure from using specific activities on the masochism. The level of personal interaction carries a lesser degree of importance, as the focus is on the specific activity; much like playing tennis with a partner, vice sharing coffee with them.
Fetish Sadism: Perhaps similar to the methodical, the actual pain (or application of pain) takes a back seat to style and appearance. An example might be a dominatrix who doesn't derive a great deal of pleasure from S&M, but enjoys the attention and rewards from demonstrating a skill (especially in public or with a client.) I liken this to the type of dancing one sees from a go-go dancer or stripper, vice on a regular dance floor; the activity may still be the same, but the motivation is far different.
I hesitate to offer three other types that come to mind, and squarely fall outside of the realm of acceptability in S&M lifestyles. One is predatory in nature, looking to harm smaller, weaker individuals for personal gain. This can certainly be with a consenting masochist, but not necessarily. A pimp or drug pusher exemplifies this. Another is marked by a fantasy world, where power is asserted by someone who sees themselves as being weak, but could be strong if they could only 'show' the world. Our recent spat of school shootings exhibits this sort of mentality. Finally a person who is inable to emotionally relate to others (sociopath comes to mind here) where since other people don't have feelings or lives that are of any importance, they exist only for the amusement of the sadist. The child yanking wings off of flies exhibits this kind of activity.
I mention the less.... palatable concepts, because I think it does the BDSM community a disservice to pretend that these sorts of mentalities aren't and won't be attracted to our communities; I don't know how extensive a conversation about them is permitted, mind you, considering the TOS of this site.
Enjoy folks.
Stephan
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Nosce Te Ipsum
"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer
Men: Find a Woman here
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