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RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/26/2007 7:40:35 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		I like pain play as much as the next kinkster, but the moment someone attacks me in anger is the moment I no longer consider to be consensual.

I took a look at your profile, and you mention being in need of harsh punishment. In your case, punishment looks like it would just be reinforcement of your bad behaviour.

I, personally, don't see any merit in trying to provoke someone in order to get something you want. If you want to play rough, negotiate it. Simple. If you're feeling "off" or someone is crossing a limit, say so.

If someone I was playing with did something like that to me, I would definitely be thinking very hard about whether or not I feel I can trust them in the relationship.


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RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/26/2007 7:47:43 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		That is entirely unacceptable behaviour in my house. I don't know anything about your relationship, or how you play, but aside from love bites when darren and I are intimate, anyone biting me would be in a world of hurt. Depending on the boy, that means isolation or a heavy beating, then release. End of story.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/26/2007 8:06:44 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Biting is a nasty habit I never let my kids engage in either.  Unless there is a life or death reason to bite, I would never bite someone I was involved with, intimately.  Not with malicious intent.  Say, no, say your safe word if you have one, say I am not in a good mind to play right now and I might get violent.  But unless you mean to harm, do not bite.
I have bitten.  I did it to break free of someone trying to harm me.  I have also broken fingers, noses, ect.. to defend myself from harm. 
Biting is something I would react to with violence.  Then wipe my hands of it, and move on.
I don't know why the OP bit, other than not being happy.  To me, that didn't feel reasonable.  Communicate first.  Biting, is a last resort, imo.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Well if she pushed too far, attempting to break a limit, she might feel that she deserved to have you protect yourself from her. Although I don't recommend biting that deeply, as the human mouth carries all sorts of nasty germs.

Punishment in this case would be for her to respect your limits and you to pay the ER bill for not telling her to stop before it came to this point.


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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
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RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/26/2007 9:09:55 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		 deleted


< Message edited by junecleaver -- 9/26/2007 9:10:26 PM >

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RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/26/2007 9:12:51 PM   
JasonF


Posts: 61
Joined: 5/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

He'd bite me back.  And it would be a million times worse than any damage I had inflicted on him.



(Note: Sorry for the above, she left her acct logged in on my computer).

I like that as a general rule, too. You do something to me, you get it back at you an order of magnitude worse. That's why you usually don't do things like that to me anymore :).        


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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/26/2007 9:16:57 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Biting because you got pushed is definately an improper reaction.  Biting hard enough to draw blood is excessive force. Even not taking into account that she was your Dominant and you may or may not have had any reason to be annoyed with the action at all, something like that and you are quite lucky there arent legal charges filed against you.
If my sub ever even considered an act of violence against me, after I beat them into a very soft pulp they'd be thrown out of my home and told never to return upon threat of criminal charges.
It is one thing to push back if annoyed for being pushed. Angel has slapped away my hand when a touch has been unappreciated. But an overreaction like that would never be tolerated here no matter what preciptated it. That would forever break my ability to trust you, and on that alone youd be asked to leave.

My 2 cents
DV


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/27/2007 1:13:19 AM   
HollyBlue


Posts: 144
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with what most people have said here. Biting in anger is flat-out unacceptable, especially if you bit her hard enough to draw blood.

My Master likes it when I bite him in passion, but that's completely different. And even so, he still usually bites me back, a bit harder than I bit him. I would guess that if I was so deeply into the throes of passion that I bit him and drew blood, he would probably be proud of me. But that's completely different than biting as an act of aggression and anger.

You and your Mistress have some serious communication and reconciliation to negotiate if you want to stay together...I know if I did do something crazy like that, my Master would punish me within an inch of my life, but would also try to understand it so we could fix the cause and not have it happen again. I have a good track record of being a very loving, giving, obedient slave, and Master and I care for each other passionately, so I know he wouldn't leave me over an incident like that, especially if it was the first ever...but we would definitely ensure nothing like it ever happened again.

Edit: Upon reflection, I'll add that I simply cannot picture myself ever biting my Master in anger. I'm just not a violent person, so the whole thing is just a bit beyond my understanding in the first place.

< Message edited by HollyBlue -- 9/27/2007 1:15:54 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/27/2007 1:24:08 AM   
seeksfemslave


Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		If your story is true, a big if IMO, surely her reaction when you bit her would indicate what she was likely to do.
What others might do is only anecdote.

(in reply to collarsubkitty)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/27/2007 1:25:08 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I'm pretty much speechless at this one. I've never had a DOG bite Me, let alone a person. I have to question the Mistress as well as the sub as to how this deplorable situation arose.

As to what I'd do ... well, one time I tried to adopt a Maltese cross dog from a shelter to be company to My blind Westie who'd just lost his older companion. Said Maltese had just lost elderly owner so was doubtless mourning, had also lost his balls as the shelter had neutered him ... so wasn't exactly in the best of moods! He was growly and snarly but never actually bit anyone. Nevertheless, after 3 weeks of patient and kind treatment, he was just as ill-tempered and getting more and more jealous of the other dog. So with regret We took him back to the shelter along with a full-page report on his personality and behaviours with recommendations as to the type of home in which he might be more successfully re-homed. They were amazed, grateful and insisted on giving Us the money back, though We weren't all that concerned about it. I heard later he had been successfully re-homed with an older couple with no other pets.

Whether the OP could be so successfully re-homed would be ... interesting!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/27/2007 12:27:46 PM   
londonron


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		 i do agree with the comment he was a tough son of s bitch to stand and allow it to happen till it bled. first point to dom there i think already. next after the silence and stare where you realise just what you have done i would do absolutlsy nothing for a while just as he had done. however as he has time to think i would not be surprised if you receive a reminder of the use of the mouth.
mouth taped shut for the weekend seems like a nice enough punishment. you get no food and maybe this will remind you to use your teeth properly.
want to be a dog do we? ok wear this muzzle, eat from a bowl and spemd all weekend on a leash and in a cage.
to be honest i think he will be thinking along these lines as he hasnt jumped staight in with anything instant and therefor is most likley in petsrus as we speak

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RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/27/2007 12:36:34 PM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I'm with seeksfemslave I doubt this is true to be honest.  If my boy did anything like that to me he would be ejected from my home and from me permanently.  i don't understand how a situation like that woul arise though as I wouldnt do anything to him in the 1st place that warrented that behaviour.  I'd take a good hard look at wether your actually suited together.  

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/27/2007 12:54:43 PM   
londonron


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		but thats a more forgiving result. if you meant it theres a chance i would chuck you out and walk away

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/27/2007 1:24:11 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Biting is a nasty habit I never let my kids engage in either.  Unless there is a life or death reason to bite, I would never bite someone I was involved with, intimately.  Not with malicious intent.  Say, no, say your safe word if you have one, say I am not in a good mind to play right now and I might get violent.  But unless you mean to harm, do not bite.
I have bitten.  I did it to break free of someone trying to harm me.  I have also broken fingers, noses, ect.. to defend myself from harm. 
Biting is something I would react to with violence.  Then wipe my hands of it, and move on.
I don't know why the OP bit, other than not being happy.  To me, that didn't feel reasonable.  Communicate first.  Biting, is a last resort, imo.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Well if she pushed too far, attempting to break a limit, she might feel that she deserved to have you protect yourself from her. Although I don't recommend biting that deeply, as the human mouth carries all sorts of nasty germs.

Punishment in this case would be for her to respect your limits and you to pay the ER bill for not telling her to stop before it came to this point.



The op doesn't really give much info. But I interpreted the term 'pushed' to mean in relationship to limits. Here I get to have my limits and he doesn't get to break them without my agreement.

Obviously this was my interpretation as filtered through how it works in my relationship.

But a lot more info is needed before anyone could really offer a suggestion. Oh and crankiness here? Depends why I'm cranky. If he kept me up half the night then he knows I'll be cranky and he has to expect it. I don't handle sleep deprivation at all well. So if he causes it then he knows what my reaction would be and punishing me for reacting in a way that is normal for me is not appropriate. If he doesn't want me cranky then he doesn't cause sleep deprivation. Actually different sleep schedules are our longest unsolved problem, he gets by happily on 5 or 6 hours sleep and really believes the rest of the world should also. I need 8 or 9 to be at my best. Telling me I need less sleep is like telling a diabetic they won't be ill for eating a pound of Godiva. Mind over matter doesn't work in this instance.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/27/2007 1:53:52 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		Well, first off, you're not supposed to enjoy the punishment, if you're meant to learn anything from your actions.

I don't even wanna think about what would happen to me if I drew blood from biting my Master just from being bratty.  The worst I've ever done was try to bat his hands away during a cropping and I got a Hell of a punishment for just that!

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/27/2007 3:13:53 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: collarsubkitty

I have recently bitten my mistress til she bled because i was not happy this morning and she pushed me...

so far she has not given me a punishment and i am wondering what would you do?

If your sub were to bite you what would be your punishment???


It would not go over well. 

I love biting...I love what it feels like and I love doing it...but not to the point of drawing blood and only in play, never in anger.  My submissive doing something of a violent nature towards me because I had "pushed" her...and since you didn't state much beyond being "not happy" when she pushed you, I am going to assume you meant she wanted you to do something you did not feel like or was going too far in a scene or something along those lines and within your limits...then she and I would have a serious talk about what led to her behavior.  If there was no acceptable answer, then there would be no relationship until there was.  If that costs me a submissive, then it costs me a submissive.  I am no one's punching bag and no, that is not ironic coming from a dominant.  It is different to beat someone in a fun manner...in a manner that both the giver and receiver appreciate...and to beat someone, attack someone, inflict violence on someone in a fit of "crankiness"

That, in MOO...is bullshit.  I can find enough of that in the world, I don't need, nor do I want, it in my D/s dynamic nor in my relationships.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/28/2007 1:04:24 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubmissiveLion

No contact.  none at all, no speaking, no touching nothing.  1000 page paper on respect and maybe if your lucky....maybe, I would talk about what you did and discuss punishment.




Yeppers.. that sounds about right to me. I have never taken in a sub who did not have enough control over themselves to not pull something like that. I guess that is why my collaring process is such a long one. Drama free zone.

The mere fact the Dom/me has not punished the sub yet does not bode well.

Personaly I would have spoken very low and told her to quit biting me. If that had not worked an ear would have been pulled right off her head as I pulled her off of me by it. Then out she would have went. No contact nothing for at least a week. A simple note of an essay on how *both* Dom/mes AND subs need to have dominion over themselves and respect for themselves and each other would be required. If I was not pleased with essay, and it was not turned in on time I would no longer concider that person as viable at all.

Comunication is everything.. as is intent in any realtionship but esp. in one where power is exchanged. To lose ones self control to that point, and alow yourself to harm another out of fustration is aprehensible. If a Dom/me were to do that they would be coined a "monster". A sub is simply coined a "brat". I think in either situations they are the same. Simply wrong. Every one needs to have respect and care for the other one. Being submissive gives no one an excuse to lose themselves.

Little one, I hope you learn from this very valuable lesson. You had best hope your Mistress sees things in a much less harsh light then I.

Gwyn

< Message edited by Gwynvyd -- 9/28/2007 1:05:30 PM >

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RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/28/2007 4:50:29 PM   
ThudBaby


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline 		Regardless of your action, your intent is what is upsetting to me.  You purposefully inflicted pain on someone in anger. 

That's a hard limit for me and if I was your Domme, I'd kick your ass to the curb.  Any of your possesions in my home would be shipped to your address (or your forwarding address if we shared a residence) COD (collect on delivery).

< Message edited by ThudBaby -- 9/28/2007 4:51:00 PM >

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RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/28/2007 6:07:36 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		If i were a domme i would slap a very uncomfortable collar on the sub, stick them in a cage because that is where uncontrolable wild animals belong and see how he/she likes their new status.  i would allow them no speech, they would eat from a bowl on the floor, and not be allowed to stand or walk, they would have to crawl like an animal.... oh and i would get a muzzle just to drive the point home!  Good thing i am a sub 

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/29/2007 1:19:15 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		On average... The dommes don't put up with that; hard limit.  The doms use it as a reason to get painfully creative.  Interesting; me personally, I'm on the fence.  Not enough information, on the nuances of the relationship, on what she was doing at the time, or on what you were upset about.

I'm leaning towards "Bad, bad things happen, but afterwards forgiven/forgotten, and laugh about it."  But I've had much worse than a bite happen to me, so my viewpoint is skewed.  It also might be a warning sign that the relationship is in serious trouble.  Why were you angry?  How did she "push" you?  Actually, on second thought don't answer that; the barracudas will go into a frenzy.  The answer to your question is, "unassailably bad things happen."

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Biting and Punishment??? - 9/29/2007 2:25:23 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings

first i would no joke fo striaght to the doctors a human bite is so dangerous . then you may need to sit down and taljk about why and for what reason you bite her so hard, and why she has not said anything . she may had like it and is shy about saying so. just becasue we are domes does not mean we do not lile so pain , it may also take time for her to come to terms with this love bite you gave her. seek her out and you start the talk .

i wish you luck

mons

(in reply to collarsubkitty)
Profile   Post #: 40
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